


Find the Courage to Hope

by LittleRedWrites



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Airplane Pajamas, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Codependency, Coming Out, Dark Take on Backstory, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Multi, Physical Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2018-11-08 12:31:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 60,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11081649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRedWrites/pseuds/LittleRedWrites
Summary: Penny prefers to keep her problems to herself. After all, admitting the reality of her situation to anyone else would mean admitting it to herself first, and she’s not quite ready for that yet.Harvey would rather fix others’ problems than address his own. When circumstance and some well-intentioned meddling brings him into the orbit of a subdued, overly-thin little schoolteacher, she’s just the kind of puzzle he’s looking for to distract him from sitting around hating himself.Maru just wants her two best friends to have some happiness for once. Oh, and to somehow fix her dysfunctional family, earn the forgiveness of the girl of her dreams, and figure out how to come out in a town where half the people probably don’t even know what “gay” means. That’s not too much to hope for, is it?





	1. Straight, Relentless Line - Penny

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't enough Harvey/Penny love out there, so I decided to add my own.
> 
> This takes place a few years after the farmer moved to town, as you can tell from some of the ages. There might be some non-canonical alterations, like the fact that people actually age. I've done my best to stay true to Harvey and Penny's characters. Any feedback is super welcome. :)

If there was a defining characteristic of her life, it was fear. Penny would never openly admit that to herself, of course, but she knew it deep down in her heart. From the moment she woke and quietly got out of bed early each morning to the minute she fell asleep, carefully wrapped in blankets no matter the heat, Penny lived in fear. Fear of her mother, her peers, the pitying looks of her neighbours. Fear of the bleak future she could see stretching in front of her in a straight, relentless line.

She always woke up early. Going to bed early meant she would be asleep by the time her mother Pam came home, and late night interactions with her mother never went well.  Getting up early meant leaving the house before her mother groggily rolled out of her bed, hungover and bad-tempered.

She followed the same routine every morning: get up, carefully make the bed. Tip toe to the small dresser at the end of the bed. She always had her next day’s clothes laid on top, because the drawers groaned loudly when opened. Dress carefully, trying not to let the holes in her underwear tear further, or pull too hard on the thin material of her worn socks. Other villagers often tactfully gave her gifts like warm sweaters and thick woolen tights for her birthday or Wintersday, but underwear wasn’t a gift that could be tactfully given, and Penny rarely had money for herself.

Once dressed, she would select a book and her notebook for the children’s lessons, and tip toe out of her bedroom, opening and closing the door carefully. Pick up her shoes by the front door of the small trailer she shared with her mother, and slip out of the front door. Pam usually slept pretty solidly, but Penny knew from experience that making a mistake loud enough to wake her could be disastrous.

Although she woke up early out of necessity, she did love early mornings. She had never been further away from home than the school in the next town over, but she felt in her heart there could be nothing more beautiful than the morning sun rising over the trees around Pelican Town.

More importantly, the town square was always dead quiet this time of day. Despite living her entire life in town, Penny had never really felt comfortable around most of her neighbours. She had always been the odd one out; from the only family in town who lived in a trailer, always dressed in second-hand clothes. And in a town this size, second-hand meant all her clothes were cast-offs from her classmates. Painfully shy and all too conscious of the differences between her and her peers, Penny tended to keep to herself.

She had taken up the role as town teacher as soon as there were children old enough to teach. It was a welcome excuse to get out of the house while also avoiding all of her peers. Children were easy – they were friendly and frank and didn’t notice that the edges of Penny’s favourite brown skirt were starting to fray.

She enjoyed her work, as well. There were only two children in town, but Vincent and Jas were enough of a handful to keep her busy. She was so proud of them – they were growing up to be wonderful, bold people. They both had their own trials and tribulations, and she did her best to make sure the school hours were a refuge from the problems of the real world.

Whether or not it was also a refuge for her was not something she thought about.

Slipping her shoes on outside the trailer door, Penny headed to the large oak tree at the edge of the town square. The lessons plans for the day had already been written, and she had four hours before she met the children for lessons and a brand new book the town librarian had just gotten in yesterday.

\--

“Jas, dear, it’s a lovely picture, but you were told to do your sums, not draw pictures.”

“Sums are boooring,” Jas pouted, her blue eyes wide. “It’s too pretty out, I don’t want to learn.”

Penny held back a sigh. “I know they aren’t fun, but you still need to do them. That’s part of being a big girl – sometimes we have to do things that aren’t fun. That’s how we grow up and become successful. We’re almost done for the day – but we can’t leave until the sums are all done.”

Out of the two children she tutored, she’d expected Vincent to be the more difficult one. He was energetic and wild, crazy for bugs, worms, or anything else that would get him dirty. There was a perpetual impudent grin on his round little face, and he had an endless curiosity. When she’d first met Jas after her and her uncle Shane had moved to town several years ago, it had taken a full week before the little girl would come to the library without her uncle coming with, and even then she wouldn’t say anything other than a muttered “yes” or “no”.

As the little girl warmed up to her new companions, though, she’d shown herself to be bold and headstrong, often concocting mischief that Vincent was delighted to fall in with. And smart – very smart. Persuaded by the promise of being soon done for the day, the little girl fell to her sums, working through them so quickly that she outstripped diligent Vincent, who had been working away from the moment Penny assigned them their task.

Once Vincent finished his page (Jas having finished a good ten minutes before and alternating tapping her pen and adding details to her doodle) Penny stood up and began gathering papers. “Good work, you two. I’ll mark these tonight. Be safe walking home, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning!”

They shouldered their backpacks, bickering between themselves, and dashed out the door. When they had been younger she used to walk them home, but at the grown-up age of 9, their parents judged them old enough to walk home alone. Penny was grateful for the reprieve; it gave her more time to read after all her chores were done. Especially now that Jas and her uncle had moved from the ranch up to the farm outside of town, a good half hour walk each way from the library where she school was held.

On the walk back to the small trailer she called home, she imagined, not for the first time, what it would feel like to live on a farm. Waking up to the roosters in the morning, fresh milk with breakfast. Nothing but fields and trees all around her. She was lonely almost all the time anyways – it might be nice to be lonely with nothing but beautiful nature in sight.

Reaching the door of the trailer, she hesitated. The new book from the librarian Gunther was terribly intriguing, and it was far too beautiful out to be pent up in the stuffy trailer with its tiny windows. Just this once, she would procrastinate a bit. She didn’t have a beautiful farm to stay on, but there was the little meadow above town.


	2. An Odd Discovery - Harvey

He was lonely. Harvey had no problem admitting that to himself; in fact, he was frequently prone to having self-pitying moods late at night with a glass of wine in his apartment.

It was also wholly his own fault. That one was a bit harder to admit to himself, but he could usually confess to it outside of those self-pitying nights.

He’d lived in Pelican Town for five years now, running their humble medical clinic. It was a small, close-knit community, total population 29. Soon to be 30, which worried him no small amount. Delivering babies was not an area where he’d had much practice.

There were 26 other adults in town, and goodness knows he’d had opportunity to get to know them. The problem was, he wasn’t sure he really wanted to.

He quite liked Maru, his assistant at the clinic. Maybe a bit too much. She was smart, lively, witty. She brought him out of his shell, and always had interesting things to say. She was also barely an adult, and twelve years younger than him. And very pretty, which was an uncomfortable thought. She was one of the youngest girls in town and definitely the most inappropriate one for him to be interested in.

There were two women near his age in town, but he never felt very comfortable near either of them. Emily was very sweet, always smiling, but far too hippie-dippy spiritual for him – he was raised to follow the teachings of Yoba, like most people here were, but he was far more comfortable in the world of science and earthly topics than that of the divine. Leah… Leah intimidated the heck out of him, if he was being honest. She was tall, elegant, beautiful. Musical voice, always lilting expressively as she told stories. She lived off in a cottage by herself out side of town, and had no difficulty fending for herself. Being anywhere near her made him think too painfully of his paleness, the softness of his stomach, the convenience food in his fridge. Leah and Harvey belonged in different worlds.

Besides, Leah had that ongoing flirtation with the other artist in town, Elliott, who was as beautiful as she was. No one could really figure out what was going on between them. Harvey was content to conclude that it was none of his business.

As for the men… stodgy Clint was only a year older than him, but Harvey had given up after a few attempts. Harvey at least had the grace to keep his self-pitying between himself and a wine bottle on late nights – Clint constantly dripped with self-pity. Harvey didn’t like to see people hurting, but it hadn’t taken long to realize that the blacksmith was a lost cause. The man seemed to enjoy being miserable.

Elliott was somewhere around his age as well, but he intimated Harvey almost as much as Leah did.

The rest of the town tended to be much older or younger than he was. Harvey tried to be open-minded, but frankly, none of the older folk seemed to be interested in the world outside of day-to-day small town life. The younger folks seemed more interesting, but to them he was the boring town doctor, and he was much too shy to approach them.

No, being lonely was definitely his own fault. His neighbours were all good, kind people and they always made sure to include him in everything. Even now, five years after moving here, the townsfolk were happy to offer him their friendship.

He hated that he couldn’t make himself take it.

He wanted a friend to dream with… to read books, to argue philosophy. He wanted a friend who would watch the moon with him, go on late-night walks through the beautiful fields.

Maru liked to watch the stars at night. She was obsessed with space, she’d told him, and it reminded him of his old dreams of flying. But Maru was his employee, and nearly a child. He was lonely, but being lonely was better than being someone who would take advantage of a young girl. It was best to not get too close. Not that she would be interested, anyways – he was just the boring, dorky town doctor.

He sighed, leaving back in his chair, watching the clock on his computer. Quarter to five. Well, no one would blame him for closing the clinic fifteen minutes early. It’s not like anything happened in town – well, except for that damn farmer getting battered in the mines, but she’d agreed not to go mining in her current condition.

He got up from his desk, pushing the chair in. He always kept the clinic spotless. His apartment was a mess, but that was a secret between him and the four walls. Starting up the stairs, he hesitated. There was nothing in his apartment but a frozen pizza, an overwhelming stack of dishes, and hours of solitude. He had books to read and some half-built model planes to tinker with, but he didn’t feel like doing anything in his current pensive mood. He turned and headed outside instead.

Locking the clinic door behind him, he took a big breath of the fresh summer air, fragrant with the scent of nature.

He had lived in the city all of his life, before coming to Pelican Town. He was born in small Geta, with only thirty thousand inhabitants, then went to school in Zuzu, which was twice the size. He missed his old home, but still never failed to appreciate the quiet loveliness of Pelican Town. As much as he resented the claustrophobic feeling that came with everyone knowing everything about everyone else, the beauty of being surrounded by nature made up for it.

The small cobblestone town square in front of his clinic was dusted with fallen leaves, despite the Mayor’s best efforts to keep it clear. Harvey preferred it when he failed; he liked that the wilderness never quite let go of its hold over the town. The square was the centre of the town, but it was still just a few short steps to the sprawling, messy meadow above it. Meadow was hardly the right word – it wasn’t very well kept, with bushes and saplings everywhere you looked. It had apparently once been full of life, the community centre in the middle of it brightly lit and busy. These days the community centre was a boarded-up shack, and the grass grew to Harvey’s knees in some places. Mayor Lewis did his best to maintain a path, but he was always losing the battle against nature.

Harvey loved it. He loved walking in the dim evening light, finding wild flowers and being alone with the valley. He never felt lonely out here. Here he was supposed to be alone.

He had wandered for an hour or so before he saw her – a shape laying on the ground underneath one of the trees, making his heart thumped in his chest. Someone in trouble? No one usually came up here in the evenings.

Drawing closer, the figure became more familiar: Penny, Maru’s best friend. She was sprawled on the moss below the tree, a book on the ground near her outstretched hand, chest gently rising and falling.

Her knee-length skirt was hiked up, showing one pale thigh, a trail of freckles leading up. Harvey’s breath hitched at the sight. Maybe it was his loneliness, or the fanciful feeling to the dusk air, but there seemed to be a quiet sensuality to her. One arm was loosely flung above her head, encircling the red curls that framed her face. She looked like something from a story; a forest nymph, or-

_ What are you DOING? _ __ He hissed in his thoughts, suddenly realizing what he was doing. _You’re a grown-ass man staring at a little girl while she sleeps._ He felt his face reddening. He was despicable. She was Maru’s friend – so basically a child herself. He vaguely remembered her being a bit older than Maru – but that didn’t matter, she was still just a young girl sleeping in a forest, and he was looming over her like some kind of pervert. He hadn’t even checked if she was okay yet, standing paralyzed over her form. Some doctor he was.

He knelt beside her and touched her shoulder, fiercely ignoring the jolt in his stomach at the contact. “Penny? Are you okay?” he whispered.

No response. He tried again, shaking her shoulder gently, speaking a bit louder. “Penny?”

She came awake at once, flinching away from him and sitting up, a terrified expression on her face, which quickly faded to confusion. “Doctor Harvey?”

“Er,” He said awkwardly, his shyness hitting full force. “You were sleeping-“

The frightened expression crept back into her eyes. “What time is it?”

“Uh, about seven-“

She scrambled up and backed away from him. “I-“ she gasped, ”Um, thank you for waking me up.” She hesitated for a moment, staring at him, then turned and ran.

The doctor sat down on the ground, his head spinning. What _was_ that? He had never really paid any attention to Penny before, to be honest. She was quiet, unassuming. Came for her annual check-ups like the rest of the village, but never talked to him outside of them. Or talked at all, really. He knew she lived in the trailer near the square, but she seemed happy enough, shy and modest and off in a world of her own. He had noticed her features, of course, but he had never thought any further about her. She was pretty, but so were many of the other girls in town.

Seeing her there – the green of the moss below her contrasting against the brilliant red of her hair – he felt like he’d been hit. She wasn’t pretty, she was stunning. She looked like a fairy, a princess from a fairytale.

Oh, Yoba. He was an idiot. What on earth was he thinking? _A princess, Harvey? What is wrong with you? What kind of cheesy nonsense is that? She’s a patient. A young patient._

He knew she was a year or two older than Maru – he couldn’t quite remember, but it was written down in her file. She looked younger, though, and he had no business looking at a young girl like that. Being affected by a young girl like that. First Maru, then this – what was wrong with him?

And why did she look so scared? Was she scared of him? Or something at home? He knew, as the rest of the town did, that her mother would be in the saloon right now, and wouldn’t be leaving until the doors closed at midnight. He always figured Penny was used to spending evenings in quiet solitude – he never saw her with anyone except Maru.

He was overthinking it. It was probably alarm, not fright, at having slept all afternoon in the field. She probably had something she wanted to do this evening. Or a friend to meet up with – he didn’t know her life.

He got to his feet, and was turning to leave when something caught his eye. Her book. Well, he couldn’t exactly leave it out where the dew might get it – he’d ask Maru to return it to her.

Book in hand, he headed back to the clinic. There was a frozen pizza waiting for him, and maybe a glass of wine, and a long evening by himself where he definitely wouldn’t think about trails of freckles on pale white thighs or the delicate beauty of blonde eyelashes on pale cheeks, haloed by red curls.

God, what was wrong with him?


	3. A Tiny Taste of Adventure - Penny

Penny stared at the yellowed ceiling of her bedroom, heart beating fast.

She could hear Pam bumping into things and swearing in the other room. She had stayed up too late finishing errands and marking the children’s lessens, and then felt far too wound up to fall asleep in time to avoid hearing her mother coming home.

At least she had managed to get everything done, and didn’t have to worry that Pam would storm in, yelling because the dishes were in the sink or the fridge was empty. Probably. Sometimes it was hard to predict what might set her off.

Penny had meant to spend half an hour reading under the tree. It had been just past three, and she had lots of time to get all her errands done. And then she had laid back briefly, looking at the soft clouds… and woken to the Doctor Harvey’s worried face above her in the dusky light of evening.

She cringed at the memory. She had made a bumbling fool of herself, running away like a frightened child. He must have thought her such an idiot.

She couldn’t help it, though; she’d been overwhelmed and panicked. She rarely slept during the day, and wasn’t used to being woken up by anyone else, except when her mother was angry.

She didn’t know him that well, either, and she wasn’t good with people. The proximity of his face leaning over her was intimidating, and his gentle concern had frightened her. She didn’t like people to be concerned over her. Or think of her at all, really. With the exception of Maru, who understood when to tactfully not ask questions, she preferred to stay away from others. Things got too complicated when other people got curious.

It was too bad. Harvey seemed an alright sort. She knew people thought he was stuffy and boring, but she imagined they often said similar about her. Surely he just had things on his mind – that’s life when you have responsibilities. Penny knew well that there was no room in her own life for adventure. She had far too much to do to spend time playing pool or… well, whatever her peers did.

Besides, she could remember all too well how her mother had reacted the one and only time Penny had come home after Pam had returned from the saloon. She had spent an evening playing board games with some of the other younger folk in town, and lost track of the time. The bruise on her cheek had kept her inside for a week – she had to lie, saying she was too sick to teach the kids. Pam would have no hussy for a daughter, staying up all night with boys. There wasn’t room in the trailer for another fatherless child.

Whether Harvey was really stuffy and boring or not didn’t matter. Doctors liked to ask questions, or say things like “I’m concerned, Penny, you’ve lost weight again,” or “You’re looking rather pale, Penny. Are you getting enough iron in your diet?” She dreaded her annual check-ups almost as much as she dreaded talking to her mother late at night.

She sighed, shifting position. Pam was quieting down, probably sitting down on the couch she used as a bed with some kind of snack. The sudden sound of the TV confirmed that she was right. Penny could fall asleep with the sound of the TV, although she preferred to already be asleep before it was turned on. It was a welcome sound when she did hear it, at least; it signaled that Pam was content with the way she’d found her home and wouldn’t come bursting into to shake her daughter out of bed.

She was almost asleep when one final thought crossed her mind, shocking her back to wakefulness.  _Her book!_

She had left it behind when she ran away from Harvey. Oh, god. She knew well that she and the writer Elliott were the only ones Gunther still allowed to take books outside of the library, after one too many books had gone missing. What would he do if she returned it covered in dew, having left it on the grass all night?

She had to get it. She had to. She’d rather have a hundred medical check-ups, a hundred bruises on her cheeks, than have her library privileges revoked. Books were her only escape, the only tiny taste of adventure in her dull life.

But how?

She could phone Maru, if she took the phone into her room and talked quietly. It would be risky, but less risky than leaving the trailer. But waking up Maru’s family? Including her stern, intimidating father Demitrius, who already disapproved of Penny?

It would be better to be caught by her mother and have to hide in the trailer for another week. There would be too many questions if she woke up Maru’s family, and the ever-present risk that Demitrius would finally decide to ban their friendship entirely.

She would have to go get it herself. Hadn’t she just thought she would rather take a hundred bruises than lose her book privileges? Two or three were nothing. She had lived through it before.

She laid still until she heard the sound of snores over the sounds of the television. Sometimes Pam turned it off before sleeping, sometimes she didn’t; Penny was grateful she hadn’t this time. The sound would help cover her own movements.

She crept out of bed, expertly avoiding the creaky section of the peeling laminate floor, and pulled a sweater over her nightgown. She would be cold, but it would be less suspicious than if Pam caught her coming in fully dressed.

She set her shoulders and carefully, carefully opened her bedroom door. No squeaks. She had saved up for months to buy a canister of oil from Clint for the door hinges, and was grateful for it every day.

First obstacle passed. She tip-toed across the room, freezing for a moment when Pam shifted in her sleep. Shoes were by the door. Fingers on the handle, she took a deep breath, slowly pushed the front door open, and slipped through.

The cold was sharp against her bare legs, but the night stars were beautiful. She never came out here this late, and she found herself dazzled by the calmness of it all.

She found her way to the town square, stumbling in the pale moonlight. She rarely got to see the world illuminated just by moonlight, and she wished she could stand still and appreciate it.

But the longer she was out here, the more she pushed her luck. Despite her brave thoughts in the safety of her bedroom, she very much preferred to not come home to any bruises.

She stumbled against the uneven cobblestones, and clamped her teeth on an exclamation as her hands and bare knees hit the ground. Well, even if she didn’t come home to bruises, she was certainly going to come home with some.

There was a small light above the doorbell of the clinic, and she fervently thanked Harvey in her mind for the beacon. She had walked every step of the town countless times, but it felt like a different world in the moonlight. She firmly pushed the word “spooky” from her mind – fairy tales were just fairy tales, and this was just the plain, dependable Stardew Valley that she had lived in all her life.

It wasn’t until she reached the top of the stairs leading to the meadow that she realized the size of the task before her. Of course she had picked one of the further trees to read under. And which tree had she picked? She could hardly see anything in this light.

Well, it was somewhere in the northeast corner. And there was nothing to do but carry on, so she did.

Bushes hidden in the grass scratched at her bare legs, and she tried not to think about bugs. She wasn’t exactly scared of bugs… spiders frequently made their homes in the trailer, and given the choice between being brave or killing an innocent creature, she had learned to overcome her squeamishness and carry them outside. But bugs in the trailer or in the light of day were something entirely different than the mystery of who could be living in the tall grasses. A few times she thought she felt webs across her face or legs, and fought back shrieks.

 _You’ve come this far_ , she reminded herself. _And her Mom can do a lot more damage than a little spider could._

The walk seemed to take hours, although she knew it took less than ten minutes. Two more times she fell, and her legs stung where the brush caught at them. Finally, though, she reached the grove of trees she had walked to earlier that day. In the dim light, she recognized the large trunk of the oak tree she had sat against. 

_Thank you, Yoba. Thank you, thank you, tha- fudge!_

She hit her foot against a root and went flying for the fourth time that night. She blinked back tears at the stinging in her hands and knees as she caught herself again.

God, she was going to be a mess when she got home. Well, she would have to be down here to find the book anyways. Ignoring the pain, she carefully crawled around the base of the tree.

It was gone.

It had to be. She’d made five rounds of the tree, her knees and palms screaming at every inch. Oh, Yoba, it was gone. What was she going to do?

Maybe the doctor had taken it with him. Hopefully. Hopefully. She had already been out here too long, and her legs and palms burned terribly.

As she made her way back past the clinic, walking more carefully through the square this time, she hesitated at the little light. It would probably be a good idea to brush off her hands and legs before she went back inside – Pam would surely notice if her sheets went into the laundry this soon after having been washed. Soap was expensive and all that.

She picked her way carefully over to the door. It was just a small yellow light, immediately above the doorbell for the clinic. No doubt Harvey was used to having late night visitors.

Raising hands to the light, she grimaced, and tried to lightly brush them off. It burned as the small pebbles embedded in her hands pulled at her skin, and she quickly gave up.

Carefully placing her hand on the wall, she lifted one knee up for inspection. It looked filthy, and she peered closer, trying to brush some of the dirt away.

_Oh, fudge._

She’d never been good with blood. Her leg fell back to the ground and she stumbled, grabbing the wall with her other hand. Now was not the time to faint-

Ding _-dooong._

She gasped in horror, freezing to the spot. Did she really just- yes, her hand was on the doorbell. And there was a light flicked on above her. Before she could decide whether to flee or not, the window of the second storey apartment pushed open, and the doctor’s head popped out, looking worried.

“Hello? Oh, Penny. Are you okay?”

She looked up, speechless, and he drew back. “I’ll be right down, okay? Don’t move.”

It wasn’t as if she had much choice in the matter. She felt like her feet were made of lead, ice running through her veins. Oh, Yoba, what had she done? How was she going to explain this?

There was a series of thumps from inside, as if someone were running down stairs, and the front door opened, streaming light into the square. Harvey stood in the doorway, framed by light, wearing pajamas with a pattern of… were those little airplanes?

“Yoba,” he swore, eyes widening behind his thick glasses. “What did you do to yourself?”

She followed his gaze. Her knees were matted with blood and dirt, her calves criss-crossed with angry scratches, some of which dripped red lines.  _Uh oh._

“Um.” She said, and everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to have Penny go straight home but those scrapes were going to need to be cleaned, and we all know she can't use the sink at home. So... who better to help than the friendly local doctor?


	4. Late Night Visitors - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harvey wears airplane pajamas because you know he definitely does. The dorky kind with matching button up shirt and pants. 
> 
> This is a super dialogue-heavy chapter, compared to the last three. If anyone has any feedback, I'd love to hear it! I am totally just typing in the dark here - any advice on how to improve would be super appreciated.
> 
> EDIT: GUYS. Look at this amazing illustration that the talented [ Obsequious_Numina](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsequious_Numina/pseuds/Obsequious_Numina) did of [ Penny ringing the doorbell. ](https://fanabout.tumblr.com/post/162265988874/doodle-for-a-scene-from-find-the-courage-to-hope)

It was two in the morning, and J. Harvey Hemphill, M.D. was standing in the doorway of his clinic, wearing grey flannel pajamas with a pattern of green airplanes on them (a joke present from Maru that he genuinely loved) and holding an unconscious girl whom he had just barely managed to save from hitting the cobblestones below his bare feet. The same girl, of all things, that he had been carefully avoiding thoughts of holding all evening.

He wasn’t an especially strong man (the unspoken agreement was that Maru did the heavy lifting in the clinic), but Penny was shockingly light. He really did need to talk to her about her diet again, he mused absently.

He lifted her in his arms bridal style, her head lolling back on his shoulder, and carried her inside. Yoba, what on earth had she been doing? She was filthy, her legs caked with blood and dirt, the hem of her knee-length cotton dress frayed and stained. Was she in her pajamas? Shit, she wasn’t wearing a bra.

 _Get a hold of yourself, Harvey. You’ve seen half the townsfolk in various states of undress; you give pap smears, for goodness sake.  Doctor mode, not creepy old man mode._ He returned his attention to her injuries, carefully navigating his way through the clinic. _Whose bright idea was it to put so many doors in here?_

He set her down on the bed in his exam room, the paper crinkling under her, and gently rolled her on her side. First thing, a sheet. From what he knew of reserved, shy Penny, she probably wouldn’t be comfortable being so exposed. Maybe a blanket, too – she was probably in shock. He tucked the sheet and blanket over her, carefully avoiding her calves. Cotton, alcohol. How on earth had she gotten battered? And her hands, too. She must have fallen, at least once.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. How long had she been out? A minute, two? It didn’t look like blood loss – she really hadn’t lost much, just smeared it around a lot. Maybe she just wasn’t good with blood – it was pretty common. Or something had happened that frightened her.

She stirred, and he crouched by her. “Penny? Just stay still, okay?”

Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him, wide eyed. “Where am I?” she whispered.

“Just here in the clinic.” He gave her a smile. “You fainted on my doorstep and I brought you in. How are you feeling?”

“Okay.” She muttered, still staring at him, the whiteness of her small face contrasting against the brilliance of her hair.

“Glad to hear it. Do you know why you passed out?”

“Um. Blood.” She looked embarrassed.

“Don’t worry – it happens to a lot of people. Can you roll on to your back for me? Slowly – your legs will hurt.”

She nodded and shifted, grimacing.

“Okay – stay put for a moment, and I’m going to get you some juice. I’ll be right back.”

He hurried up to his apartment and grabbed a cup and the orange juice from his fridge. They usually kept juice boxes in the clinic for these circumstances – Penny wasn’t the first to faint in his clinic – but he and Maru had been pillaging from them and he hadn’t had a chance to restock yet. Heading back to the door, he hesitated at his wardrobe, and grabbed a pair of socks, too. It was cold down there. Besides, being a barefoot doctor wasn’t exactly dignified.

Not that being a doctor in airplane pajamas was much more dignified, but it was a bit late to do anything about that.

He was half way down the stairs before he realized the socks in his hand were fuzzy and bright green. Well, so much for dignity, anyways. At least he would be warm.

Penny was where he had left her, her pale face turning to look at him as he came through the door. He gave another little smile. “You’re still here!” He joked. “I was afraid you would run off while I was gone.”

A guilty expression flashed across her face. Ah.

“Let’s get you sitting up, hey?” he suggested, pretending not to notice. He set the glass and socks on the table beside the bed. “Just slowly, now. You’re probably still a bit lightheaded.”

She eased herself up, and he adjusted the bed behind her. “There we go. You can sit back.” He handed her the juice. “Sip on that, okay?”

She took it silently and sipped, her eyes fixed on his face.

He picked up the socks and sat down on the stool beside the bed. The silence was a bit unnerving, and he found himself compulsively filling it.

“I was glad to see it wasn’t Elizabeth or Shane ringing the doorbell tonight. The pregnancy is going well so far, but I’m always worrying anyways. Just part of being a doctor, I guess.” He started pulling on the second sock, Penny still silently watching. “You’d be surprised at how many late-night visits I get. Ended up installing that doorbell halfway through my second year here – I wasn’t woken up by knocking and someone decided to throw a rock through my window.”

Robin did apologize after and install a new window, which was kind of her. And he couldn’t blame her – Sebastian was almost as scratched up as Penny was now. The cuts had been shallow and much cleaner, of course, but he couldn’t blame Robin for panicking. It’s never easy for a parent to find their child self-harming.

God, he hoped none of Penny’s scratches were self-inflicted. Her legs were too dirty for him to really get a good look at yet.

He rose and washed his hands in the little sink, then pulled a pair of latex gloves from the box on the wall. Turning back towards Penny, he nearly jumped when she finally spoke, a cracked whisper. “It was an accident.”

Had she been reading his mind? “Your cuts?”

“The doorbell. I was just looking…”

Oh. “Well, I’m glad you rang it. I much prefer you fainting here than out there alone. And those cuts on your legs need to be taken care of.”

She nodded, silent again, and stared at her hands, twisting in her lap.

“This is going to sting a bit – I need to clean these so you don’t get any infections. If it hurts too much, let me know, okay?”

Another silent nod. She stayed quiet as he dabbed at her legs, not even flinching.

It always surprised him, how different people reacted in his office. Alex was a heavy user of the juice boxes he usually kept, for example. He had broken down sobbing more than once when receiving a shot. Harvey always did them alone now, to save the poor boy’s dignity in front of pretty Maru. Little Jas, on the other hand, was always impassive so long as her uncle or Marnie were in the room, no matter what was happening. Otherwise she would start crying before Harvey did more than even open his mouth.

Emily wanted to see everything he was doing, watching in fascination when he would pull blood or give a vaccine. She would chat all the way through pap smears, telling dirty jokes and laughing so much he would have to wait until she calmed down. Her younger sister, Haley, was so terrified of the clinic that he did house visits for her instead.

Penny had always been very quiet during past visits, but he assumed it was due to shyness. She certainly hated to answer any questions he asked, or talk about her health at all, and would hurry out as soon as he let her.

As he cleared the dirt off her legs, he was relieved to see the marks didn’t look self-inflicted. Thank Yoba. “What happened tonight, Penny?” he ventured tentatively.

“Um.” She looked uncomfortable. “I was looking for my book.”

Oh. Of course. He should have brought it to her as soon as he found it. He had just felt so hesitant to follow her, after she had run away. And why had she gone looking in the small hours of the morning? “Was it the one you were reading this afternoon? I have it upstairs.”

 “You do? Oh, I’m so glad!” she exclaimed, and then flushed and looked back down, as if she were ashamed of her outburst.

“I do. I couldn’t leave it out there.” He smiled, looking up from the long scratch he’d been focusing on. “I’m a bit of a bookworm myself. It looked interesting – I’ve heard Willy’s stories about merpeople, but I’ve never read any books about them.”

It seemed to be the right thing to say, as she brightened up immediately. “Oh, it is! I just got it from Gunther yesterday. There are stories about them from basically every culture on the continent – makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”

It was the most words he’d ever heard from her at once. He didn’t know much about merpeople – or fairy tales in general – but he found himself desperately wanting to keep the brightness in her eyes. “It is a strange coincidence. Are there other fairy tale creatures that are common like that? Like the Junimos, or shadow creatures?”

“Shadow creatures, yes. All over the continent, again. All the stories about Junimos actually originate in the Valley here, but there are stories of similar creatures doing good from all over the Ferngill Republic. Sometimes they’re called forest spirits, and there’s a variety of different shapes, not just round ones- uh, sorry, that’s probably more than you wanted to know.”

“No, no! It’s very interesting. I don’t read much except boring medical books these days, but I wish I could. I used to read a lot of fantasy novels before I went to college, to be honest.”

“Really?” She asked, looking excited. “I’ve read all of Gunther’s fantasy books. Fairy tales are my favourite, but fantasy is the next closest. Magic, adventures… I love it all.”

“Well, I might have some books you haven’t read, if you want to drop by some time.” He offered, the words spilling out of his mouth before he could think.

 _Shit_. He didn’t let anyone up in his apartment for good reason. He made a sad enough figure without people knowing how he lived.

“You do?” She said, then hesitated, her shyness returning. “I probably shouldn’t, though – I mean, I did almost leave Gunther’s book out all night.”

“Considering how you were willing to get battered in the middle of night for it, I think you’re a safe enough bet. Um, are you okay?”

She had gone white, eyes suddenly wide and afraid. “I forgot how late it is. I have to get back!”

“Well, I haven’t looked at your hands, and I haven’t put any bandages on your legs yet, though I did manage to get all the cuts clean.” He looked at her, concerned. There was that frightened expression again. “Can I persuade you to stay for ten more minutes? This shouldn’t take long.”

“No – no.” She pushed herself up. “I can take care of it. But thank you… for all your help. I feel so bad I woke you up.” She was already half off the bed, swinging her legs to the floor. “I really do have to go. Um. What do I owe you? For this.”

“Owe?” Right, he was a doctor. Who usually charged people. “Nothing, really. I’m just glad I was able to help. Are you sure you’re alright to go home? I can walk you back, if you like.”

“No! Um. No, I’m okay. Really.” She was edging towards the door, clearly uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“Well,” he said, standing and leading her to the front of the clinic, “I’ll lend you a flashlight, at the very least. There’s one at the front counter. You be safe, okay? And bandage up your legs when you get home – you don’t want any infections.”

“Um. Yeah. Thank you. Again.” She gave him a quick, nervous smile as she took the flashlight from his hand.

He watched her cross the square, flashlight bobbing as she ran from him for the second time that day. As the light disappeared from sight, he headed back to his humble apartment, pondering.


	5. Little Dreams - Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter in which our long-suffering heroine just can't get a break. Sorry Penny...  
> This is a bit of a shorter chapter, but I promise there's more coming soon. I've been busy neglecting all of the rest of my life for writing this, so I've got a few more chapters almost ready. :)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: I'd like to add a blanket trigger warning. I don't want to spoil each chapter as I post it. Some topics that will be discussed may include self-harm, depression, anxiety/anxiety attacks, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, emotional and physical abuse. Apparently I can't write anything without making it dark as heck so sorry about that. Also Harvey's a doctor so he gets to deal with all the depressing stuff for the village.

“Penny?”

“Penny? Are you okay?”

Penny came awake all at once.

Why did it seem like she kept waking up in strange places lately? Her head was resting on a wooden table, and opening her eyes, she saw bookshelves. Right, the library. School. She must have fallen asleep while waiting for the children to arrive.

She lifted her head. The local farmer Elizabeth was standing over her, holding Jas’s hand and looking concerned. “Are you all right, Penny? You look awfully pale.”

“Er. I’m fine! Just tired.” Penny gave her best attempt at a smile, cringing inside.

She hated to be around Elizabeth. It wasn’t the woman herself - she liked the farmer a lot. She was kind, friendly, and generous, and good to Jas. Which was part of the problem, really. It felt awful to feel so resentful towards someone so nice.

Elizabeth, tall, beautiful, capable. She seemed to have it all; a beautiful farm, surrounded by trees. A sweet little cottage. A husband – Penny didn’t want Shane, who had always frightened her, but still, a husband – and Jas. And then, the cherry on top, the rapidly growing bump of her tummy.

Penny didn’t allow herself many dreams. She knew that her prospects weren’t high. She was living in poverty in a small town, with no money or connections. There was one dream, though, that she could never quite make herself forget about.

Her life growing up was devoid of love, but she still had plenty to give. She felt in her soul that her purpose in life was to nurture; to love, to support, to empower. She wanted babies. She wanted motherhood more than she wanted anything else in the world.

And it would never happen. To quote her mother, there wasn’t room for another fatherless child in the trailer. Pam had said many cruel things to her, spoken in drunken anger and forgotten by the morning hangover. That one sentence burned worse than anything else ever had, and the sting never seemed to fade from memory. There were no men in town interested in Penny – who would be? And it would be a miracle if she could ever move out of the trailer. Even with her teaching salary, there was no hope of saving up money – not with the rent her mother charged. She was trailer trash, the daughter of trailer trash, with no hope of things ever changing.

“I don’t think you look very well, Penny.” Elizabeth’s gentle voice interrupted her thoughts. “I’ll go get Vincent, and the children can play at the farm for today. Even teachers deserve a day off here and there.” As Penny opened her mouth to protest, she added, “I’m putting my foot down on this one. You get some rest."

Penny shrugged helplessly. “I- well, if you insist.”

She _was_ exhausted. It had been past three in the morning when she had finally sneaked back into the trailer, Pam blessedly still sleeping. And then she had hunched over the little desk lamp in her room with a pair of tweezers, carefully picking rocks out of her hands in the dim light, until the clock at her desk showed it was four-thirty and she could hear birds chirping. She had reluctantly decided to forgo sleep for the night, knowing that without an alarm clock there was no way to be sure she would be awake in time for work.

It didn’t help that she had skipped dinner last night too, in her rush to get all her errands done after her long nap. Unable to prepare food in the mornings while her mother slept, Penny tended to live off of one meal a day. It wasn’t too hard to go without food all day now that she was in the routine – and it saved money on groceries when every cent counted – but she definitely felt it when she skipped that one meal.  

“I do insist.” Elizabeth said firmly. “Let’s go get Vincent, Jas. How would you guys like to help harvest some blueberries?”

Jas’s face brightened up. She knew what that meant: at least half the blueberries picked would end up in her and Vincent’s stomachs. She eagerly pulled Elizabeth towards the door. “Let’s go!”

“Okay, okay. Go home, Penny!” she laughed, following the young girl out the door.

Penny sighed and looked back at the table. Well, a day off. She couldn’t go back to the trailer – even if she could successfully sneak back in again, she didn’t want to have to deal with her mother when she woke up. The harmony in their household, she knew, was mainly based off the fact that they rarely saw each other.  

She could try to stay awake and do something, but she could feel the nausea building in her from lack of sleep. Besides, her book was still at the clinic, and she didn’t want to talk to Harvey again so soon after embarrassing herself so much last night.

Sure he had been kind and hadn’t seemed to mind her intrusion, but that was his _job_. And she had made a fool of herself, blathering on about fairy tales and generally exposing herself to be a hopeless dork.

She also hadn’t bandaged her legs like she said she would. Bandages weren’t among the list of luxuries she had in her home. It stung as the dark, concealing tights she wore scraped against the scratches, but they had stopped bleeding, at least.

She could have a nap outside somewhere – where someone would surely come across her and ask embarrassing questions – or she could see if Maru would let her borrow her bed for a few hours. It wouldn’t be the first time she had taken refuge there, and Maru was always kind enough to not ask why she couldn’t just go home.

The only problem was that Maru was at the clinic today. Which meant maybe seeing Harvey. But maybe he would be busy… Maru generally only worked on days when he was seeing patients. She would be quick, just in and out. And maybe the tights would conceal the fact that there were no bandages on her legs.

Another wave of nausea hit her, and she made up her mind. Maru’s bed was big and comfortable – not old and full of springs that pushed through, like hers was. It would feel so good to just relax and not worry about anything for a few hours. 1

She pushed back her chair and headed out of the library. It was another gorgeous sunny day; the hot August sun beating down, tempered by soft breezes and the shade of the large oak trees in front of the old building.

Alex Mullner, one of her closest neighbours, was leaning behind his summer ice cream stand, chatting with Haley, a pretty girl a few years younger than she was. She nervously avoided eye contact as she hurried by. The Mullners made her a bit nervous; she knew old George Mullner liked to complain about the state of their yard, and there had been that fiasco last year where he had yelled at her for helping him get an envelope out of his mailbox. She didn’t blame him – nobody liked to feel helpless, and she had butted in to assist – but she was still afraid of him now. Evelyn Mullner was sweet and friendly, and Penny liked her, but she was too shy to ever go to the Mullner house for anything.

Arriving at the clinic, Penny gathered her courage around her and pushed the door open. To her relief, Harvey wasn’t at the desk, just Maru sorting through some papers.

“Penny! How are you?” the short girl asked, her brilliant smile lighting up her face.

“Good, good.” Penny replied cautiously. “I was just wondering if I could ask a favour… could I crash at your place for a few hours? I didn’t get much sleep last night and school is cancelled.”

“Of course!” Maru exclaimed. “You do look pretty pale. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Yeah.” Penny smiled. They were an odd pair, with Maru’s exuberance and friendly openness contrasting against her own reserved nature, but Maru was a good, kind friend. “Just tired.”

“I’ll go grab my house keys, then. Just moment- oh! Hey, Harv.” The bell above the shop door interrupted her, Harvey coming through holding a box of juice boxes under one arm and a coffee in the other hand.

Penny froze, anxiety rushing in. She could feel her face turning red. The doctor looked equally uncomfortable, pink brushing across his features. “Um. Hey, Maru. Hi Penny.” He put the box down on the counter. “Are your legs okay?”

“Um. Yeah. Good.” Penny tugged awkwardly at her skirt. “They’re just fine. Thanks.”

“Your legs?” Piped up Maru, looking curiously between the two of them. “What happened to your legs, Penny?”

“Nothing really-“

“Some scratches-“

They both broke off, staring at each other.

“Some scratches.” Harvey repeated. “She ran afoul of some bushes. Nothing major.” He scratched at his neck nervously. “Actually, that reminds me, Maru… the exam room might need to be tidied up a bit.”

“What?” Maru exclaimed. “Harvey! How could you forget to mention that? You’ve got an appointment with Marnie in twenty minutes!” She sighed dramatically. “I even asked you if anything needed to be done this morning!”

“I forgot…” he looked embarrassed.

“Doctors!” She rolled her eyes. “Pen, I’ll go grab those keys. I’ll get the full story out of you later. You,” she pointed at her boss, eyes narrowed, “pull Marnie’s file while I go clean up the room.”

The door slammed behind her as she hurried out of the front room, leaving Penny and Harvey standing in an uncomfortable silence.

Penny stared at the floor, avoiding the doctor’s gaze. “Um. Sorry. About last night.”

“No, nothing to be sorry about.”

The clock ticked, once, twice, three times. Penny racked her brain for something to say, and hoped that he didn’t notice that her legs didn’t have any bandages under the tights.

“I meant it, about the books.” He said, surprising her into looking up. “Come by any time. I need to give you back your mermaid book, too – er, I could go get it now.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I um, I gotta run.” She lied, then wondered why she had. She did need that book back soon, and now she would have to come back for it.

“How about Saturday? The clinic should be quiet, and you won’t have to teach that day. At ten?”

“Um. Sure.” She replied, unable to think of any reason to not say yes, and more than a little desperate to end the conversation.

“Cool. I uh, better go pull that file. Have a good day.” He gave her a nervous, shy smile, and left her alone in the front room, kicking herself for not being able to make up some kind of excuse. She was trying to avoid the doctor, not visit his home with him. What had she gotten herself into?

 


	6. Coward - Maru

“So here’s a story for you,” Maru said, hopping up to sit on the front desk where Harvey was reading through some notes. “A pretty girl goes into a doctor’s clinic. The doctor comes in the door, and they look at each other… _and they both blush._ ”

The doctor blushed again.

“I wasn’t blushing, Maru. It was hot outside, and I was carrying stuff.”

“Uh huh, yeah, okay.” She said, letting her skepticism colour her tone. “Which is why your face didn’t turn red until you were inside our nice air conditioned clinic, looking at her. I don’t blame your or anything, I know she’s very pretty. And a nerd like you!”

“And a patient, and very young. Really, you’re reading into it too much. I was just surprised to find someone in here.” Harvey’s face was very pink, and Maru smirked to herself. He was a terrible liar.

“She’s not that young. Besides, everyone is your patient. You’re the only doctor in town.” Maru gave him a grin. “I think somebody might have a crush.”

“Maru!” he protested. “Really now.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, Harv. I think it’s disgustingly sweet. But, look,” she leaned forward, tone serious. “I’ve got a piece of advice for you, about Pen. You can’t ask her questions about herself. Nothing scares her off faster. I don’t know why she’s so intensely private, but that’s the way she is. And I know you – you’re endlessly curious. So try to curb your instincts around her, or she’ll run for the hills.”

He looked thoughtful. Maru had no doubt her suspicions about his interest were right; his embarrassment and hasty excuses confirmed it. She was delighted; she had no idea why she had never thought of it before. They had so much in common, and both Harvey and Penny were the type to spend all their energy taking care of others and neglect themselves. They could take care of each other.

Provided Harvey didn’t mess it up by scaring her off with too many questions, that is. She knew he would be curious about her. Harvey was a born caregiver, and there were a thousand little signs that not all was well with Penny. 

When he stayed silent, Maru added, “We’ve been best friends for almost a decade and I still don’t really know anything about her home life. I know it can’t be great. She won’t let me help her, though. All I can do is offer refuge when she needs it, and not ask questions. Maybe you can help her – she could use more friends. Just don’t screw it up by scaring her off with your millions of questions.”

That was all she could do, really. Harvey was a smart man, if a little absent-minded and clueless sometimes.

She hopped off the desk. “Anyways, this place is spotless. Anything you need before I leave for the day?”

“Actually, yeah.” The doctor replied, still looking thoughtful. “Can you note in Penny’s file that she faints at blood?”

Maru’s eyebrows rose, but she didn’t ask what had happened. She knew how seriously Harvey took his patients’ privacy. Instead she gave him a saucy wink, joking, “Swooned right into the handsome young doctor’s arms, did she?” The redness surged back to Harvey’s face and she laughed delightedly at his expression. “Sure thing, boss. And then I’m going to go enjoy that sunshine. You should too!”

She put the requested note in Penny’s file, and then headed outside, waving at the doctor one last time on her way out.

On the walk home, Maru strategized.

She would have to be careful. One wrong word would send Penny running. Maru often wondered if Penny ever even thought about sex. She was so shy and reserved, always wearing her knee-length skirts and shrinking away from any kind of male contact.

And Harvey was so wrapped up in his doctor identity. He’d never approach Penny without a great deal of prodding. At least she didn’t worry about him moving too fast and scaring her off.

She wouldn’t say anything to Penny just yet, Maru decided. Slowly, cautiously, that was the ticket.

She wasn’t usually very good with people – she preferred machines – but she figured she could handle Penny and Harvey. After all, she did know them pretty well. Better than anyone else did, at least.

They were both such private people. Harvey hid in plain sight, staying friendly with all the villagers but never getting close to anyone. Penny was less subtle, keeping to herself entirely. Except with Maru, which was something Maru never took for granted.

People often wondered why they were friends, Maru knew. They were so different; everyone expected nothing but the best from Maru, and no one expected anything from Penny. She was the prize-winning inventor, daughter of a brilliant scientist, and Penny was a teacher living in a trailer with the town drunk. She had heard people suggest that she was doing Penny a favour by being her friend.

They had it all backwards.

Maru had originally been drawn to Penny simply by loneliness. They were both loners in a small, cliquey town. As she had gotten to know the shy girl, though, she realized that she was a hidden gem. Penny was just so ridiculously _good_. She was kind and accepting, patient and generous, and she listened better than anyone else that Maru had ever met.

She had been thirteen, full of angst and anger and acne. She was mad at her father, who wanted to control everything; she was mad at her brother, who would have nothing to do with her. She was mad at her mom for not fixing their cracked, divisional household.

Penny had been eighteen, and had the same quiet grace back then that she did now at twenty-six. She was patient and quiet and carried serenity around with her like a blanket, listening to Maru’s woes and never judging or criticising, just gently calming.

It was only years later when she understood the gravity of Penny’s situation and Maru realized how trivial her own concerns were. How incredible Penny was, to face the world with such bravery when her life was so full of pain.

Penny listened, though, no matter how silly Maru’s worries were. And they developed a comfortable dynamic: Penny let Maru talk, and Maru let Penny stay silent, never pushing or asking any of the little questions people asked, the ones that made Penny draw even further into herself.

 And sometimes, rarely, Penny did share her problems with Maru. It always filled Maru with warmth on those rare occasions; she knew it meant that Penny really did consider her someone important, someone that could be trusted.

Penny was the only person she had come out to. She had no prospects of meeting girls anyways, so why bother with the commotion of coming out? But she had needed to tell at least one person, and Penny could keep a secret. Sometimes Maru suspected Penny even kept secrets from herself.

And Penny was so accepting, so loving. When Maru had blurted, tears threatening in her eyes, that she didn’t like boys at all, she liked girls, Penny hadn’t been phased one bit. She’d sat still for a moment, then asked, gently, “Is it hard?” and hugged Maru when she nodded. And then she didn’t change, one bit, still calm and comfortable, still crawling into bed with Maru on those strange nights when she came over and would knock on the window at midnight, with tears in her eyes and offering no explanations.

Being gay in Pelican Town _was_ hard. It got easier every year as Maru learned to accept herself, but it was never really easy. Maybe it would be easier if she just came out, but Maru hated attention, and she couldn’t stand the thought of the whole town talking about her sexuality. It hurt, though, every time her mother joked about grandchildren, or well-meaning visitors asked her if she had been seeing any boys lately.

And she still felt infuriated, every year, at the annual Flower Dance, where the stupid old people of the town made all the single young people dance together – always boys with girls. Maru always danced with Harvey, who felt more like a cousin or young uncle than an actual boy, but she still hated that there was no choice. One horrible year she had ended up dancing with Sam, when Penny had been ill. His big hands on her waist had made her skin crawl. It wasn’t his fault – and really, he seemed like a nice enough person – but without the comforting familiarity Harvey offered, the dance had been almost too much to stand. The pressure of all the grinning townspeople, the romantic atmosphere, the cloying scent of Sam’s cologne as he towered over her, the knowledge that the prettiest girl in town was beside her, perfectly content to twirl and laugh and have a lovely time with her own male partner.

Even without all the other factors, being around Haley was enough to put Maru in a bad mood.

She rounded the top of the little mountain path, entering the front yard of the beautiful house her mother had built. Maru loved her home; she loved the mountain, the trees, the big beautiful windows her mother Robin had installed herself.

She walked around the house, to the back, and let herself in the small door that lead directly to her bedroom. Her father had complained about that door as she got older, saying it wasn’t appropriate to let a teenage girl have such easy access to the outdoors. Fortunately, there wasn’t much to be done about it; they had no other spare bedrooms, and Robin refused to board it up. “Maru’s going to be a young adult soon,” she had pointed out. “I’m not going to lock her up in the house.”

Penny was sitting on her bed, leafing through one of her comic books. “Hey.” She said simply, putting the book down and smiling. “How was work today?”

“The usual. The clinic was quiet, like it always is. I almost miss when Elizabeth would tramp around in those mines; at least there was excitement sometimes.” She laughed. “Although there was some excitement this morning when I found our exam room an absolute disaster!”

Penny looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry about that.”

“No worries at all. It gave me something to do! Sometimes I really think I should cut back my hours at the clinic – Harvey doesn’t really need me there. But I’d feel so bad leaving him all alone by himself all day.”

“I suppose it must be awfully lonely.” Penny agreed, looking down. “Um...” She hesitated, looking at Maru, and Maru sat perfectly still. You couldn’t coax Penny; you had to let her come to you.

“He invited me over.” Penny blurted, turning red and looking at her lap. “Well – not _over_ – but to look at his books. I don’t know what to do.”

Maru cheered in her head but kept her face perfectly straight. Harvey, you brave man. “You should go! I bet he has a lot of cool books. Besides, it’s just Harvey. I don’t even think he knows how to talk about anything that isn’t science.”

“I guess so.” Penny sighed. “I just don’t know why he’s being so nice. I was such a bother to him last night.”

“Harvey’s just a nice person, that’s all.” Maru replied, trying to be comforting. “He likes to see people happy. And I’m sure you weren’t a bother.” Judging by his blushes the doctor had probably actually enjoyed seeing her, although Maru wasn't going to suggest that to Penny just yet. 

“I was, though.” Penny groaned. “I’m so embarrassed. I got all scratched up looking for my book and he was so nice about it.”

“Well, doctors are supposed to take care of people. He likes doing that – that’s why he’s a doctor, you know.”

 “I guess so.”

They sat in silence for a moment, and Maru glanced at the little clock in her room. “Hey, you want to stay for dinner? You know Mom loves to see you.” _And Dad hates to, but he’ll survive this one time._

“I don’t want to be a bother…”

“You won’t be.” Maru lied, smiling encouragingly. Her dad would be grumpy, but Penny was so thin. She often suspected that she didn’t get enough to eat; and whatever she did eat certainly wasn’t the hearty, filling food her mother made.

There were only two things she argued with her father about: her preference for engineering over biology, and Penny. He was suspicious of Penny, with her humble background and alcoholic mother. Which was ridiculous, really; there couldn’t be anyone better behaved than Penny was. She hated his cruel bias against her. Penny couldn’t help who her mother was. But Demetrius wanted nothing but the most respectable friends for her – if he even wanted her to have any friends. Sometimes it felt like he was bitter about anything that took her away from studying and experimenting.

Some day she would have to really stand up for herself. She loved science and learning, but she wanted to do it on her own terms, not his.

She was glad when Penny agreed to stay; she really was worried about Penny. More so when she noticed that her friend spent more time pushing the small serving she had taken around her plate than actually eating it.

Just another thing to add to the frustration that was a meal at the Callas household. Her brother Sebastian, quietly glowering into his place, bolting back his food and leaving the table without a word as soon as he finished. Her mother Robin watching him nervously, the hurt evident on her face, despite the fact that it was a daily occurrence. Demetrius ignoring both Sebastian and the visitor, going on and on about whatever he had recently learned about beetles. As if anyone else cared about beetles. Maru enjoyed doing biochemistry with him, but she could care less about the lifestyles of insects.

Some days she just wanted to scream. Scream at Penny for not letting her in, not letting her help. Scream at her brother for not talking to her. Scream at her mother for being so passive about their broken home, when she was so brave and passionate in all other aspects of life. Scream at Mayor Lewis for making her dance with boys. Scream at her father for being so stiff and unrelenting. Scream at herself for being too cowardly to try and fix anything.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O shit whaddup babes it's your girl Maru! 
> 
> I originally wrote the opening scene from Harvey's POV, but Maru is shaping up to be too interesting of a character to not have her own voice. She's such an awesomely versatile character that can be written so many ways! Hope y'all enjoy my interpretation.


	7. Not Trying to Impress - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanging out with our sweet boy Harvey for a chapter. Sorry it's a bit short - more awkwardness coming soon, I promise.

_Harvey, you’re a goddamn idiot._

It was 5pm, and Harvey was standing in his apartment, staring at the chaos.

He had gone to sleep early on Thursday, exhausted from lack of sleep the previous night and promising himself he had lots of time to tidy up. Truth be told, he had always been a bit of a procrastinator – especially when it came to house chores. Now he only had one evening to clean his disaster of an apartment before Penny came over.

Before Penny came over.

It wasn’t a crush, whatever Maru said. Sure, Penny was beautiful. Closing his eyes, he could picture the freckles sweeping across her delicate features, her large, brilliant green eyes shining against her pale skin. He had never really noticed her before, which seemed almost criminal now; as if he had been walking in a rose garden all along, only seeing the leaves. So much had changed in the last few days since he had come across her in the meadow.

So he was attracted to her. That didn’t mean anything, though. Beauty wasn’t everything. Leah was incredibly beautiful, but he would rather eat his model plane collection than speak to her for more than a few minutes in a casual setting (and it was a pretty sizeable model plane collection). If anything, he tended to stay especially far away from beautiful women.

There was just something different about Penny. She was so adorably shy, so adorably small. He felt so big and masculine around her, and that wasn’t a normal feeling for him. He was tall – the tallest man in town, he was pretty sure – but he often felt smaller than he was because it seemed so easy for people to overlook him. He certainly wasn’t a big man. He was long and lanky, but built slight and a bit soft from a lack of physical exertion. He had heard the term effeminate applied to him more often than he was comfortable with, back in his college days.

Being near her made him feel confident, competent. At least, more so than usual. He still felt nervous around her, but it was the anxiety of making a new acquaintance, rather than his usual insecurities. He couldn’t imagine her laughing in his face like girls had back in school. He could feel her own nervousness matching his when they talked, and hadn’t felt judged for his awkwardness the way he usually did around other people. She was as awkward as he was, and that somehow made it easier to talk to her.

It was as though she brought out in him all the things he wanted to be. He felt as if he had been standing outside of himself on Thursday, watching in shock as he confidently invited her over to his apartment, even set a day. Shy, awkward Doctor Harvey who still stuttered a bit when ordering drinks from the same pretty barmaid he had been ordering drinks from for five years now, brazenly telling a beautiful girl to come over on a Saturday.

 _Oh Yoba_ , he thought, a sobering realization hitting him _. I DO have a crush._

Well, it didn’t matter. He certainly wouldn’t be doing anything inappropriate. He was thirty-three, a middle-aged man. A crusty old confirmed bachelor, living in a small one-bedroom apartment with pizza boxes stacked up beside the fridge. She was young, beautiful, with her whole life in front of her. He didn’t know how young – it said in her file but he couldn’t make himself open it and check, just in case it said something horrific like nineteen and made him hate himself even more than he already did.

Maru had said “not that young”, but Maru was young herself. Barely twenty-one.

He groaned out loud. He was overthinking this. Penny would be nothing but a friend, nothing but. His thoughts would stay firmly on the inside of his head, and he would just have a friendly visit with the nice little town teacher. Show her some books. Gunther’s library was nice for a town this small – really, it was amazing they had a library at all – but judging by how often Penny was reading, she had no doubt read through all the books already.

And Maru had said she needed a friend. He had thought about her strange warning a lot – it implied some kind of mystery going on with Penny, and dammit, he had always been a sucker for any kind of mystery. It was part of why he had gone into medicine – what better career could there be than solving problems all day?

Penny certainly acted oddly enough, like tramping through the meadow after a book in the middle of the night without even a flashlight to guide her. And he hadn’t forgotten the terror in her eyes when he had woken her up the other day, and the way she had run from him.

He had never thought of her situation much in the past, aside from some passing pity. He knew her mom was an alcoholic; the whole town you knew you could walk into the Stardew Saloon at pretty much any point during Gus’s open hours and find Pam there, throwing back cheap beer after cheap beer.

Pam had been pretty friendly to him, usually. He wasn’t her biggest fan, but mainly because of the way her raucous voice grated when she was feeling drunk and loud. Which was most of the time. He knew she didn’t work, but hadn’t thought much about she could afford her drinking – he wasn’t one to judge how people spent their money. Now he wondered if Penny was providing money. Maybe that was why she was so thin – was she getting enough to eat?

And Maru said not to ask any questions. He sighed.

Well, whatever the mystery with Penny was, he could help by being a friend. And first things first, he needed to get his apartment clean enough that he wouldn’t die of humiliation when she walked in the door.

Let’s see… his sheets needed to be changed, but he could ignore that. It wasn’t like she would be ending up in his bed. _Ever, so calm down._ He should probably move the bottle of lotion from the bedside table, though. No need to seem any more pathetic than he already was.

The pile of dirty laundry he could take down to the clinic laundry room. Maru didn’t come in on weekends, so he could just leave it there until he had time to deal with it. Or, more realistically, leave it downstairs until end of day Sunday and then cart it back up before Maru came to work on Monday.

There were bits of model plane everywhere, from his latest project. He could probably get away with just pushing everything into a pile on the coffee table. Yoba, it was a good thing he wasn’t trying to impress her, because she was about to find out what a mega dork he was.

Well, she had already caught him in those ridiculous airplane pajamas Maru bought him. It wasn’t as if he could embarrass himself much more than that. Maybe she would think it was interesting that he had a hobby, even if it was something as dorky as model planes. _Yeah, because that has worked in the past._

At least Penny being too young for him to date meant things wouldn’t get far enough for her to reject him.

The floors could use a sweep, he mused, dragging his attention back to the task on hand. That at least was pretty easy. Which left…

…The kitchen.

Oh Yoba, the kitchen.

It was tucked into a corner of the little apartment, which made it easier for him to ignore it most of the time. If there was one chore he really hated, it was doing dishes.

Or maybe it was cooking. He really hated doing that, too.

Either way, his kitchen was an absolute mess.

A stack of cardboard boxes sat beside the garbage can, previous homes to a wide variety of the instant food sold at JojaMart. He slunk down to their store once a week, after his neighbour Pierre, bitter competition to the chain store, had closed shop for the day. His dietary habits were a secret kept between him and the dead-eyed cashier behind the counter there. He really did prefer Pierre’s, but he didn’t sell the kind of crap that could be microwaved for two and a half minutes and called a dinner.

There were way too many empty wine bottles lined up, as well. He would definitely have to deal with that; they certainly would not impress the daughter of the town drunk.

Not that he was trying to impress her, Harvey reminded himself.

And then there were the dishes. He had been operating on a wash-as-needed basis for the last… well, for a long time. He fortunately didn’t own very many dishes, because each and every single one was stacked on the counter.

Well, it wouldn’t clean itself. Harvey sighed and got to work.


	8. Pity and Charity - Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning babies, happy Monday! Here's another chapter to start off your week. Harvey is being such a brave boy and I love him.
> 
> Here's an alternative title for this story: Penny Is Oblivious As Heck
> 
> Also it's 7:50AM here and I start work in ten minutes and haven't had coffee or breakfast, so my apologies if the editing is a bit rough... I'm just too excited to get this out and start getting into the fun stuff I've got planned for some later chapters!

It had to be pity.

Ever since Thursday, Penny had spent hours trying to analyze why on earth Harvey would invite her over to his apartment. Sitting under her favourite tree on Saturday morning, she thought she knew the answer.

She had been nothing but a bother; embarrassing herself, waking him up in the middle of the night. She certainly hadn’t done anything that would earn her a friend.

People didn’t usually pay attention to her. She was always at the outskirts, too shy to speak up, too dull to be noticed. On the rare occasions when anyone did notice her, it was usually in the form of charity. Like Elizabeth dropping by with extra vegetables – “We grew so many Pierre won’t take them all!” Or Caroline at the general store, adding a candy bar to her bag with a wink, or asking her to take some extra buns because “They’ll get stale if no one eats them today, and we already have so many!”

The generosity burned with dual humiliation; the fact that people saw her as needy, and the fact that she was far too desperate to ever turn them down.

Her little teaching salary wasn’t much – after all, she only taught two children. It helped that Mayor Lewis subsidized her a bit from the town budget, but that was just another humiliating display of charity.

And rent to her mother took up about two-thirds of it, leaving a tiny budget for their groceries and household needs. Pam, of course, never contributed towards groceries; all of her money went straight to Joja’s liquor isle and Gus at the Stardrop Saloon.

It had been such a relief when Harvey hadn’t charged her the other night. A relief combined with the nauseating weight of more shame, but a relief all the same.

No, it had to be pity. She had nothing to offer, and the doctor had already proven himself to be kind and generous. He felt sorry for her, and was offering some additional distraction in the form of books. And just like the groceries from Elizabeth and Caroline, she was far too desperate to turn it down. Even though she was dreading the visit more than anything – going over to his _apartment_ , being all alone with a man in his home.

Not that the town doctor would ever be interested in dowdy little her, but that was part of the problem. She’d never so much as held hands with a boy, and her starved dreams were full of romance. It didn’t matter who – hell, she had imagined what it would be like to be with dull, morose Clint – she was obsessed with the idea of love. Not even love, really. Just the comfort and security of having someone care about her, an escape from her life. Cooking some grateful man dinner in a warm kitchen that wasn’t the tiny gallery kitchen of the trailer. And marriage, children – but she didn’t think about that often, because it hurt so much.

The thought of being all alone with Harvey in his home made her feel sick with anxiety. She could still remember the soft touches of his hands on her legs the other night. Her cuts had stung as he cleaned them, but not as much as the realization that the most physically intimate moment of her life so far was taking place in a cold, sterile medical examination room.

She had never thought about Harvey much before, but it was more out of humbleness than any other reason. He was a doctor, after all – no doubt brilliant, full of fascinating knowledge from college. He had a respected place in the community, a reputation to maintain – the opposite of little trailer trash Penny, whom nobody thought of except to offer pity and charity.

Pity and charity. She had never thought about Harvey much before, and she wasn’t going to start now. All that had changed was that he was now another person offering her pity and charity. She knew her place, and he was miles above her. She would grit her teeth and accept his charity, because she was desperate and couldn’t help herself, and then she would go back home to her trailer and the life she belonged in.

She sighed and stood up. She had procrastinated long enough. It was already eleven, and if she didn’t leave soon she might be around to see her mother stumble out of the trailer. She tried extra hard to avoid her mother when it was close to the day that Lewis paid her. The closer to payday it was, the more likely it was that Pam had run out of money completely and would take to asking her daughter for an advance on rent.

She clutched her bag with Harvey’s flashlight in it nervously as she approached the clinic. Did he even still want her come? She could imagine it now: she’d walk through the door and annoyance would flash across his face. He was probably very busy, as the only doctor in town. Really, it would be a bother, taking time out of his day to talk to the town charity case.

On the other hand, Maru would never leave her alone if she didn’t go. And he was still holding her mermaid book hostage.

She felt so nervous she was nauseated, her heart pounding through her whole body. She struggled to regulate her breath, and, feeling like it would be easier to lift a thousand pounds, she pushed the clinic door open.

Harvey looked up from his desk and smiled brightly. “Penny! You’re here!” He jumped up, almost pushing his chair over, and she stared, feeling too unsure to speak. If he noticed her expression he didn’t say anything, heading around the desk to join her. “I’m glad you’re here. It’s so dull on weekend mornings, sometimes. I feel like I have to stay at the desk, in case someone comes by, but there’s no scheduled appointments on weekends and it’s so boring without Maru here to talk to. I’ve been sitting here for hours just thinking about how beautiful that sunshine looks today.”

He was talking fast, and she realized with a shock that he was _nervous_. She was a pretty good judge of behaviour; goodness knows she spent a lot of time silently watching others. But why would he be nervous? He was always so calm and collected during the rare doctor visits she had had. Maru often mentioned that he was shy and awkward, but Penny had never noticed any of that herself.

He had stopped talking, looking at her, and she realized it was her turn to say something. “Um. It’s very nice out this time of year,” she offered. “Very pretty.”

Yoba, could she be any less interesting?

Harvey gave her another warm smile, though, as if she had actually said something worth uttering, and led her to the staircase in the back of the clinic. “Here, follow me. I just live upstairs… it’s pretty humble, but plenty for an old bachelor like me.”

Humble. It was funny, Penny thought, how different people had such different definitions of the word. Harvey’s apartment was big and bright, easily two times the size of her entire trailer. Just one room, but the warm sunshine streaming through the window shone against the hardwood floors and gave it a warm, friendly glow. Maru would probably think it was humble, maybe. The Callas family had the nicest house in town, every large room built by Robin’s competent hands. To Penny, though, the quaint little apartment looked dreamy.

“It’s very nice.” She said.

“You really think so?” Harvey looked pleased. “Thanks. Come on in – you can leave your shoes on, don’t worry. Here’s my books – sorry it’s all such a mess. I’ve been meaning to organize them for years now.”

Penny followed him to a large, tall bookcase that leaned against the back wall beside his bed. It was easily three times the size of her own collection. The books varied wildly, from tiny softcovers with titles like _The Ethics of Surgery Consent_ to massive textbooks and—

”Oh Yoba,” she gasped. “You have the entire collection of the _Blue Knight_ series!”

“Er, yeah. One of my favourites.” Harvey scratched the back of his head.

“Gus has the first book, and I loved it so much, but nobody has the second one in town and it ended on such a cliff-hanger – I can’t believe there are eight books! Yoba.”

“Well, you can help yourself.” Harvey grinned. “Take them all home, if you wish.”

She was wildly tempted for a moment. The freedom of having more unread books available than she could possibly get through at once… and it was the weekend, so she could just indulge for hours.

But there was still at least an hour or two before she could go back to the trailer, and there was no way she could carry all eight of those big hardcovers around for an hour by herself. Besides, if something happened to Harvey’s entire Blue Knight collection, she would never be able to afford replacing all those books.

“Could I take the first two, please?” she asked, trying not to sound too much like she was begging.

“Of course.” Harvey pulled them out of the shelf. “Anything else?”

“No that– that’s so much. I can’t thank you enough.”

“Well,” he said slowly, handing the books over, “You can pay me back by having coffee with me when you’re read those two and telling me what you think of them.”

Penny froze, her hands on the books between them, his warm hazel eyes on hers. Had Harvey always been so tall? She was suddenly conscious of how close he was standing, his long, slender fingers merely inches away from her own. Was he asking her out? No, of course he wasn’t, he couldn’t be. That was preposterous.

She hesitated too long, and his face fell. “Uh, I mean, if you want to. You don’t have to do anything.”

She was being ridiculous. He was just a good, caring person. Offering more of his kindness to her, and she was making him feel bad.

“I’d like that.” She said. And despite her anxiety and fear, despite her sureness that his offer only came from pity, she meant it.

He smiled again, and she realized that even if this was pity, it didn’t sting the way she was used to.


	9. Real Funny - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think I'm going to change the title of this story. I haven't picked a new title yet, still playing with ideas, but the current one just feels so dramatic and doesn't really fit the story with how its evolved. That's the problem with naming something before it's written, I guess. Anyways, stay tuned for seeing this with a different title.
> 
> I mean, does anyone really even look at titles? I'm just like, oh, there's another Stardew Valley fanfic at the top of this list I've been refreshing all day, gotta click. Gimme all that Stardew goodness. Shout out to all the amazing authors who posted chapters today, by the way. (Like you, blueandbronze12!) This Wednesday has just been non-stop fanfic goodness and I'm so happy. 
> 
> I love this chapter. I think it's super cute. I hope you love it too! Sorry it's short, but this comment has been extra-long to make up for it. ;)

“So, how was your date with my little Penny?” were Maru’s first words when she walked into the clinic on Monday morning.

Harvey desperately wished he didn’t blush so easily.

“We didn’t go on a date, Maru.” He replied, hoping his voice sounded calm.

“Right, right, of course.” She yawned. “You just invited her over to her apartment to hang out all casually and stare into her gorgeous green eyes. Hey, is there coffee ready?”

“It is. And I was just lending her some books, that’s all. Nothing to get excited about.”

“Uh huh. Is it too warm in here, Harvey? You’re bright red.” She grinned, and head to the breakroom.

“Maru! Really, honestly. Nothing is going on.” He called after her. And nothing was. He had lent Penny some books and made a dumb suggestion, then she had said something about needing to do dishes and rushed out as if she couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

Not that he could blame her. He had regretted saying that stupid thing about coffee as soon as the words had left his mouth. She looked so appalled, even if she did say yes. She had probably just felt too uncomfortable to say no.

He was doing a real lousy job of not trying to pursue her. On the other hand, he was doing a pretty lousy job of pursuing her, too, so it all evened out. No harm, no foul, except he was making himself look like an idiot. Maru would have to look elsewhere for people to be friends with Penny, because all he was managing to do was give her reasons to avoid him.

“What’s on the agenda for today, Maru?” he asked his assistant as she returned, coffee in hand.

“Let me see…” she sat in her chair at the desk and flipped through the paper agenda they tracked appointments on. “Evelyn is coming in this morning, and then this afternoon is Penny…”

“Wait, what?” his heart caught in his throat, and then dropped as Maru burst out laughing.

“Oh god, your face, Harv.” She gasped between laughs. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. It’s Vincent this afternoon. Nothing to get excited over.”

“Maru, you’re a jerk, you know that?” he groaned. “Sometimes I wonder if I really need an assistant at all.”

“You’d die of boredom here without me, and you know it.”

“Pretty sure I’m doing to die from your twisted sense of humour anyways.”

In all honesty, he didn’t need an assistant at all. In a town with a total population of 29, there was barely enough work to keep half a person busy. Most of the time they just hung out between appointments. He’d taught Maru some of the physics and math he had learned in college, using his old textbooks, and a great deal of anatomy and health science. Sometimes they just talked about philosophy or current affairs.

She had been working for him for three years, now, and didn’t seem to mind that she was barely earning anything at all. He couldn’t even pay her the crappy minimum wages available at the local JojaMart – all he had to offer was a paltry weekly salary and all the scientific knowledge she could pick from his brain.

He was very grateful for her presence, though, even if it did make no sense that she would want to work in the clinic. She was his first – and only – real friend in town. That was one good thing, at least, about this new crush. Penny had utterly distracted him from thinking about Maru that way, and now he could just relax in her companionship and be friends.

 Well, when she wasn’t being a total jerk, at least.

Maru leaned back in her chair and yawned again. “We have about an hour until Evelyn shows up. I sure hope she brings cookies again. Why on earth do we open the clinic so early? It’s not like there’s anything to do.”

“Maru, it’s nine AM. That’s hardly early.” He reminded her. “Besides, it’s important to be available in case anyone comes in.” Privately, he wondered the same thing. Would anyone notice if they didn’t open with the rest of the shops in town?

“Well, at least we can watch people in the square. There’s Penny, sure looking pretty today.”

His eyes shot to the window and he groaned as he realized the square was utterly empty except for Mayor Lewis, puffing self-importantly up to Pierre’s. “Maru, seriously?”

She was too busy laughing to reply.

 ---

The morning chugged by at its usual glacial pace, improved greatly by the addition of Evelyn’s famous chocolate-chip cookies. They drank cup after cup of coffee and discussed one of Harvey’s neurology books until noon, when Maru pulled out some cold leftovers and Harvey went upstairs to grab his daily peanut butter sandwich.

He was opening the door to head down the stairs, sandwich in hand,  when he heard Maru’s cheerful voice exclaiming, “Hi, Penny!”

He groaned for the millionth time that day. She had been teasing him non-stop, and he wasn’t falling for it anymore.

“Real funny, Maru.” He called, heading down the hall. Really, enough was enough. “You can cut it out now- oh. Hi, Penny.”

He was going to murder Maru. There stood Penny looking confused, as his extremely unhelpful assistant fell off her chair, laughing hysterically.

“Um, is everything okay?” she asked, looking concerned. “Maru, what is wrong with you?”

Harvey sighed and rubbed his face. “She’s just been playing tricks on me all day and thinks she’s really funny. Don’t mind her. Can I help you with something?”

Just what he needed, another opportunity to embarrass himself in front of Penny. As if things weren’t awkward enough.

“Um, I just forgot to give this to you the other day…” she was offering his flashlight. “And I forgot to ask for my book back…”

Right. Harvey took the proffered flashlight. “I’ll, uh, just run and get that, then. Sorry about that.”

He hurried out before she could reply, and took the stairs two at a time to his apartment. Why did she have to come by today of all days, when Maru was so set on teasing him? And why, oh why, did she have to time her visit so perfectly to set him up for looking like an idiot? He tried to imagine what she was thinking at the scene she had walked into. He could only hope she didn’t realize that she was central to it.

He took a deep breath. Well, it wasn’t as if things could get much more worse, anyways. She probably already thought he was a loser.

The book was on his desk. He would just walk down, calmly, hand it over, and wish her a good day. Easy-peasy. Surely he could stay composed for a few minutes.

Another deep breath, and he opened the door and walked down to the clinic. He could hear Maru talking to Penny, apparently recovered from her laughing fit. Pushing the door to the front room open in a much more dignified manner this time, he held the book out to Penny.

“Here you are. Sorry I forgot to return it to you earlier.” He managed a tentative smile.

“No worries,” she replied, taking it from him. “Um. I’ve really been enjoying those books. I’m almost done the first one already, I read all day on Sunday. Maybe we could have that coffee on Friday?”

“Um.” He squeaked, surprised. “Yes. Yes, that would work.” Did his voice crack? At thirty-fucking-three? He might as well give up on dignity entirely.

“Good.” She smiled, a rare expression for her face, and his knees felt weak at the sight of it. “Well, I better go. I’m just on my lunch break and the kids are probably waiting. See you guys.”

She left, and it was only the knowledge that Maru was watching him that kept Harvey from cheering. She wanted to go for coffee with him!

Speaking of Maru, though…

“I told her I had drawn moustaches all over the people in one of your pamphlets, and you had just found it.” she said, as he rounded on her. “I got ya, bud. Wingman Maru to the rescue. Mission get-the-girl is on track.”

Harvey laughed as relief coursed through him. “The rescue from a problem you created. Maru, you’re a real something. I guess I won’t downsize my office staff just yet.” He paused, frowning at her. “Not that I’m pursuing her. She’s too young for me, remember? We’re just becoming friends.”

Maru merely rolled her eyes in response.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hear you, Maru.


	10. Something - Maru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I renamed the story! I like this one much better.
> 
> Sooo... this chapter, guys.
> 
> First of all: I'm doing my best to write Maru well. I'm not LGBTQ+ myself and I'm really trying to make this something realistic and thoughtful and not too cliche or stereotypical. I haven't been through what Maru is going through with hiding her sexuality and so I'm just kinda standing over here trying to empathize and imagine what it's like. I'm planning to go a bit more in depth in future chapters, which I'm excited about but also really nervous because I'm writing from a perspective that I've never experienced myself and I don't wanna fuck it up. 
> 
> If I do fuck it up, please let me know!
> 
> Secondly: Guys, I love this chapter. I love it. There are two major themes in it that are really dear to my heart. I think what I love most about writing this story is being able to talk about issues that are real and common and so hard to have a conversation about. It's like the third chapter I wrote and I've been dying to share it.
> 
> Thirdly: I love all of you. All the kind words and encouragement are so motivating to me. Thank you all so much! I know I just posted a chapter like, yesterday, but here is another one because you're all so wonderful.

Maru stood at the basement landing, her heart pounding.

A year ago she had signed up for an online dating profile. She hadn’t done more than create the account, thank goodness. Because later that day her father had come into her room, face serious, to talk about the dangers of meeting strangers online, to remind her that her focus should really be on her projects and studies. Besides, if she wanted to meet men, he had said, she could agree to go to university like he had been suggesting for the last few years.

The memory always made her furious.

Demetrius had always been overprotective – strolling casually by when she would be sitting out on a bench with Penny, or calling her teachers when she was in high school to ask about her classroom behaviours and what friends she was making – but she hadn’t dreamed that he would go so far as to track her internet activity.

Thank Yoba she had never tried to watch internet porn. That would have been an unfortunate way to come out to her parents.

It was ridiculous. She was an adult. She was twenty-one years old, old enough that it was wildly inappropriate that her father would actually review what she did online. Not that she ever did much, really – she wasn’t much of a computer person – but still. She had a right to some privacy.

She had thought of a solution in the angry weeks following that conversation, but she hadn’t been brave enough to actually attempt it.

She was brave enough now. Maybe. Watching Harvey blushing over Penny, she was so painfully reminded of her own loneliness. The utter lack of romantic potential available to her. And it hurt – it hurt enough that she was down here, facing her worst fear, with maybe just enough bravery in her.

Sebastian’s bedroom door loomed in front of her, feeling more like an impenetrable fortress than a simple wooden door crafted by her mother.

She just had to have courage. All he could do is say no. And tell Demetrius that she was trying to curtail his restrictions, but she didn’t think Sebastian would go that far. He talked to Demetrius even less than he talked to her.

Which was really saying something.

 _Just do it._ What kind of coward was afraid of speaking to her own brother? She gritted her teeth and, heart pounding in her chest, reached up one hand and knocked.

Oh god, she had actually done it.

“What?” called an irritable voice from inside. “I’m working, Mom.”

She considered just running. He wouldn’t know it had been her. But she had come this far, and dammit, she had to be brave. No more running away from all her problems.

“Uh. It’s me. Maru.” She squeaked.

Silence. Had he decided to just not answer? It wouldn’t be out of character. Seconds ticked by, her anxiety steadily increasing.

And then skyrocketing as the door was pulled open and he was standing there, scowling down at her.

Sebastian wasn’t especially tall, but Maru always felt like he was. He loomed in her imagination like a giant, able to squish her without any effort. In real life, he was only 5’9 or so, but his presence still made her feel tiny.

He had pajamas on, dyed black hair messy, and there were bags under the dark brown eyes that glared down at her. “What do you want?”

She quailed under that gaze. Sebastian didn’t look at her often, which made it even more unsettling on the rare occasions when he did. His eyes always looked so dead, as if he didn’t care about anything at all. His scrutiny made her feel like a bug that he was deciding whether or not to step on.

 “Um.” She swallowed nervously. “I um, I want to ask for your help.”

“With what?” he asked, face still cold, and Maru silently thanked Yoba that he hadn’t just told her to get lost.

“A, uh, a computer thing. Um…” she lowered her voice, glancing up the stairs. “Could I come in?”

He stepped out of the doorway silently, and she entered her brother’s bedroom for the first time in years. It was dark, and a bit stuffy. He had two computers set up on a desk, both on and running. A game was spread out on a coffee table with a bong sitting on one corner. She wondered if their mother knew about it.

Closing the door behind her made her both more comfortable and ten times as nervous. “Dad tracks everything I do on my computer.” She forced the words out before she was too unnerved to speak at all. “I want to be able to do stuff without him seeing it all.”

Sebastian snorted. “I thought you were daddy’s perfect little girl.”

Her face burned. “Well, I’m not. I’m my own fucking person too.”

“Huh.” He looked coldly amused at her outburst, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. “Yeah, I can help with that. It’s pretty easy. But why should I?”

She had kind of expected that response. It was a bit much to hope that someone who preferred to not even look at her would help her out of the goodness of his heart. She had still hoped, though. She shrugged, feeling a bit defeated. “What do you want?”

He leaned against his bedroom wall, staring at her with dull, apathetic eyes. She felt like shrinking under that gaze. Why had she ever thought this was a good idea?

She didn’t know why Sebastian hated her. They had been close until she had been eight. He was a lot older than her, five years, but he had been a great older brother, helping her learn the times tables, reading her books at bedtime.

And then he started withdrawing more and more, sinking more into himself. Stopped talking to her. Stopped looking at her. It might have been that she had started doing well at school, and Demetrius had more or less given up on Sebastian to focus all his attention on her. She was well aware of the tension between her father and half-brother. Robin had said that it was a phase, Seb was just being a moody teenager – but it never stopped, not even now, thirteen years later.

He finally broke the silence, shrugging. “I’ll think of something. Go get your laptop.”

“Really?” she asked, before she could stop herself.

“Yeah, really. Go get it before I change my mind.”

She flew up the stairs and hurried to her room, carefully skirting her father’s laboratory. The last thing she needed was for him to call her into something.

Arriving back at the basement landing with her laptop, she knocked a second time, more confidently now.

“Come in.” Sebastian called. He was sitting one of his computers, frowning at something. “Just a minute.”

There was a small couch by the door, half-covered in clothes – all black – and she sat nervously on the edge of it while he typed quickly for a few minutes.

“Okay. Bring it here. This should just take a few minutes.”

She handed it over wordlessly, then nervously returned to the couch. This was already the most time she had spent with him – outside of their uncomfortable family dinners – in years. He opened it, and they sat in silence for a few moments while he clicked.

“So what are you looking up that you didn’t want Demetrius to know about?”

She jumped as his dry voice cut across the tense silence. “Um.” She didn’t really want to say, but it was the first time he had actually asked her a question about herself in a long, long time and she couldn’t reject that now, even if his voice sounded utterly uncaring. “A dating site.”

“A dating site? I thought you were getting cozy with the doctor.”

She’d heard that before. Didn’t people know Harvey was over a decade older than she was? He was more like a brother than anything. Well, like what she assumed a brother would be like.

“I’m not interested in him that way.”

He shrugged and they went back to silence.

She didn’t know why she said it. Maybe it was to see some kind of actual emotion on his face. Maybe it was to see if he would care.

“I’m not interested in any men. I like girls.”

It worked. His head shot up, surprise transforming his face, and to her gratification he did look like maybe he might care. Mission accomplished, but she still regretted the words the instant they left her mouth.

“Shit.” She added. “I don’t know why I said that.” Her face burned. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

He just stared at her silently, and she desperately wished she could tell what he was thinking. The dead, apathetic look was gone from his eyes, but the shock wasn’t much more comforting. And something else? Maru wasn’t really a great reader of faces, but he almost looked… relieved? She had to be imagining it.

They gazed at each other for what felt like hours, and when he finally spoke, it wasn’t the dry, cold voice she was used to, but almost a tone of wonder. “Not daddy’s perfect little girl after all, hey?”

Then he shrugged and looked uncomfortable. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

He was _apologizing_ to her?

Maru gave him an awkward little smile, trying to cover how much those words stung. “It’s cool. It’s the truth anyways. Just… don’t tell anyone? Please?”

The dull look returned to his eyes, his face slipping back into its usual impassiveness. “I’m not that much of an asshole, don’t worry.” He closed her laptop and pushed it towards her. “Here. I’ve disabled the tracker he set up. He’ll probably notice, but at least he won’t know what you’re doing. Just don’t leave him alone with your laptop. And, uh, you do know how to use incognito mode, right?”

“Yeah. Thank you so much.” She said, picking up the laptop. “I really owe you one.”

Sebastian shrugged awkwardly. “It’s pro bono. Don’t mention it. Good luck.” He turned back to his computer in a clear dismissal, which Maru gratefully accepted.

Her heart soared as she climbed the stairs. One more small piece of freedom successfully wrestled from her father.

And maybe, just maybe, there was a chance of being friends with Sebastian someday. He hadn’t been friendly or kind and his comment had felt like a slap across the face, but it was still an interaction. And he had helped her. He had apologized. He had said good luck.

It wasn’t much, but maybe it was something.


	11. Sounds - Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... the tags, guys. Check 'em. I really hate putting trigger warnings before chapters because spoilers are bad, but dudes, this chapter gets heavy. If you're not OK reading about any of the stuff in the tags, maybe skip this one. You'll also note I bumped the rating up to Explicit.
> 
> This was not an easy chapter to write, for sure. Pretty sure it takes the cake for 1# most edited chapter I've written. Here we go!

There are sounds that gently drift you out of sleep. Rain, pattering against a window. Birds singing while early morning might creeps across the room. A loved one whispering your name.

There are sounds that pull you into wakefulness, leaving you conscious but still yawning and blinky-eyed. The tune of a familiar alarm clock. A car revving in the driveway. A child laughing outside the window.

And then there are those sounds that jerk you into instant alertness, no matter how deeply you were asleep. Thunder crashing. A guard dog barking urgently. Or your mother, slamming open the door in the middle of the night, yelling.

"Penny, you sneaking bitch!"

It didn't happen often, but it happened often enough. Penny's muscles acted out of reflex, rolling against the wall, huddling into a ball.

Those agonizing moments before her bedroom door slammed open always felt like ages. Knowing what was coming, being unable to do anything about it. No options, no escape, just holding in place, trying to make her body as small as possible. Trying to make herself invisible. If there was a hell, it felt like those minutes did; heavy with fear and helplessness.

The living kitchen light flicked on. The fridge door opened and then banged shut.

"What the fuck is this _shit_?" shouted the angry voice of her mother. Penny choked back tears. They wouldn't help.

And then it happened, and it would have been a relief if she wasn’t overwhelmed with another wave of fear. Her bedroom door slammed open.

"Where the fuck is my money, you bitch?"

Pam was silhouetted in the doorway. In another situation, she might have been ridiculous: short, stout, makeup smeared, waving a soda bottle in one hand. Slurring her words and wavering slightly in the doorway.

"I don't get paid until tomorrow, Mom, I promise!" Penny cried. Sometimes it helped to reply; sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes it made things worse. That was the terrifying thing, really – it was random, unpredictable. Maybe she’d be unscathed. Maybe she’d be battered. Maybe one day Pam would actually kill her and there was just no way to know, nothing she could do.

"Fucking Gus cut my tab off," Pam continued, as if she hasn't heard. "And you've wasted all our money on this _shit_ ," waving the bottle in the air. "Where the fuck is my money? I put a fucking roof over your head, and you hold out on me? You little slut!"

"I get paid tomorrow, Mom. I promise. I promise. The fifteenth of every month, remember? It was only the fourteenth today."

It was the wrong thing to say and she could tell as soon as the transition happened; the dark light in Pam’s eyes, the twist of her mouth. Penny ducked her head down and shut her eyes. Whether Pam's aim was off or if throwing a full bottle at Penny’s head was too low even for her, she didn't know; but relief mixed with pain when the bottle slammed against the side of her folded legs was and she realized that Pam's weapon was out of her hands.

She didn't make a sound - she knew better than that - and her body was absolutely still as the bottle fell against the bed and the rolled heavily to rest beside her. Maru was impressed with her pain tolerance, but she was that way because she _had_ to be that way.

"Fuckin' think you can patronize me, bitch?" Pam spat on her, and Penny stayed frozen as the wet glob hit her shoulder. "I brought you into this world, kid - big fucking mistake that was - and you better learn your fucking place. I want that money on the table when I wake up tomorrow, or you'll fuckin' regret it."

"Yes, mother." she said meekly, hoping, praying that it was enough. That it was the right thing to say.

It apparently was, because the door banged shut. Penny kept her head in her arms, eyes closed. She didn't move as the TV blared on, or as Pam stomped around, swearing, opening the fridge again and rustling with some packaging.

She sat still for a long, long time. The wetness of her nightdress sticky against her shoulder, the weight of the cola bottle heavy against her foot. Pam had bought the cola, not her, but what did it matter? She couldn't do anything right. She bought all the food and necessities and gave her mother the rest of the meager salary she earned and it still wasn’t enough, it was never enough.

She thought about her father. The memories she had of him were pleasant in themselves, but still painful to think about. There had been more money then - they still lived in the trailer, but she'd had new clothes and a little tricycle that he would push her around on.

She didn't blame him for leaving. She remembered the yelling, bottles crashing, plates shattering against walls, even when she was a child. Back then it had been him on the receiving end.

But how could he have left her behind? If he had loved her, even a tiny bit, how could he have left her to Pam’s tender mercies? He knew what she was like, what no one else knew. Even if he hadn’t been able to bring her with him – why hadn’t he come back for her? It had been twenty years. Twenty years that he’d abandoned her with her monster of a mother. How could he have done that to her?

She was so lonely. So tired of this endless cycle of pain and silence and never knowing what to expect. She thought about death – how much easier death would be than this life. Pam didn’t believe in Yoba, but she did, a little. Maybe. It was nice to think that there was someone up there, a chance that she’d someday be able to experience something other than this endless misery.

Even if there wasn’t an afterlife. Just nothingness would be fine, because at least it wouldn’t be this constant nervous uncertainty about each moment and this dreary certainty that things would never change.

She couldn’t kill herself. She knew that. But if she found out that she had some kind of terminal illness, she didn’t think she would mind at all.

Anything had to be better than this.

Pam wouldn’t remember in the morning. She only hit when she was blackout drunk. She didn’t remember most nights, in all honesty. Penny had told her, a few times, when it first started happening. Pam would be horrified, remorseful. Tip toe around her. Awkwardly buy gifts that Penny didn’t want. Cut back at the bar for a little while. Be miserable and cranky because she wanted to drink. Start drinking more, and more, and more. Repeat the cycle.

Penny didn’t bother telling her anymore. What was the point? Nothing ever changed. Nothing would ever change.

Sometimes she thought about telling Maru. Releasing the pressure that was this misery trapped inside her, just for once not being all alone.

Maru could keep a secret, but this secret? She would probably tell people, for Penny’s sake. And people would look at her with more pity, offer her more charity. Maybe someone would take her in. And they would ostracise Pam, and Penny would have to live with seeing her mother every day, outcast in the only place she had ever called home. Maybe she would leave, but who would ever take her in? She would end up on the streets, and it would all be Penny’s fault.

Even when Pam hit her, she was still her mother. Still the only family she had. And she couldn’t help it, couldn’t help the addiction that drove her to drink, couldn’t help the way the drinks affected her.

And if Maru didn’t tell, she would have to live with the secret, too. It would hurt her. She did so much for Penny already; Maru was the only friend she had. So kind and supportive and understanding, never pushing. She couldn’t do that to her.

It was best to just keep it to herself. Better to stay quiet, like she always did. Better to leave things the way they were, even if they were miserable. She could handle it. She always had, and she always would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. yeah. If you relate to this chapter, even a little bit, I promise you, you can get free. It's hard - it's so hard - and it takes so much work and courage and people don't realize that, a lot of the time. But you can do it. And you deserve to. Nobody deserves to be abused, no matter who they are, what they've done. Nobody.
> 
> On a less serious note: my inspiration for the paragraph about sounds that instantly jerk you awake was... my cat puking. Those horking noises can wake me up from literally anything. If I died and my cat started puking I would probably come to life just to make sure she wasn't on one of the carpets.


	12. Secrets - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up kiddos, it's Harveylicious time! 
> 
> This chapter took longer than usual to write because it's huge! The longest one yet, for sure. Hope you all enjoy it. :)

To say that Harvey was nervous on Friday morning would be wildly understating the case.

He didn’t usually eat breakfast (the most important meal of the day!) but between his nerves and the coffee he found his hands shaking and hurried down a piece of toast to try and settle himself a bit. It didn’t work, and the unfamiliar meal felt heavy in his stomach.

He had forgotten to set a time with Penny again, and he was regretting that now. To spend the whole day on edge like this, not knowing when she was coming, would be agony. He had given Maru the day off for purely selfish reasons – if Penny came into the clinic, he didn’t want his teasing assistant to be there. He couldn’t remember if Penny would be teaching today – maybe she wouldn’t be there until after 3, anyways. Six hours of waiting? Would he survive?

9 AM came both too slowly and too quickly. As much as he wanted time to pass quickly, he felt far too antsy to sit at the little clinic desk or concentrate on anything. As the clock ticked to 8:59, though, he slowly headed downstairs to unlock the doors and begin the wait for Penny’s arrival.

He almost tripped over his own feet at the sight of a head of curly red hair immediately outside the clinic window. She was looking out into the square, and he took a moment to admire her profile. How could he have ever not noticed her before? How could anyone not want her?

She turned towards the door as he opened it, and smiled that shy little smile that set his heart to hammering. “Good morning, Doctor. I just wanted to drop by and ask when you wanted me to visit – I forgot to ask the other day.”

His tongue felt awkward in his mouth and he cursed himself for being so overwhelmed by her presence. “Uh. I have an appointment… at ten?” Why did he phrase that as a question? “Er, at ten. It should only take about half an hour, though. Other than that, the day is clear.”

The doctor who sat around doing nothing all day. He was such a loser.

“I have to go see Lewis in half an hour. Would eleven be okay? If you aren’t too busy? I can come after the clinic closes instead…”

“No! No, eleven is great. Perfect.” He was pretty sure he would die if he had to wait until after five.

“Perfect. I’ll see you at eleven, then. Have a good morning.” She smiled again, and he almost forgot to reply.

“Uh, you too. Have a good morning.”

Yoba, he was a poor excuse for a man.

She left, heading down to the mayor’s house, and he leaned against the doorway, feeling as if he’d just run a marathon. She was halfway across the before he looked up, and he frowned when he did. She was limping. Why was she limping?

\---

The morning dragged. Caroline arrived on time and left late, late enough that he was panicking when she finally allowed him to walk her out at ten minutes to eleven.

When they reached the front room Penny was already there, patiently sitting on one of the plastic blue chairs, and it was all he could do to keep his composure in front of Caroline.

“Have a lovely day, Caroline. See you soon.” He said, smiling at the woman. _Please leave please leave please._

“Oh, yes. Thank you, Doctor Harvey.” She said, and apparently Yoba was smiling down on him because she exited the little clinic, leaving him face to face with Penny.

“Hello.” She smiled nervously, and his heart responded the same way it always did.

“Er. Hi.” _God dammit Harvey, you’re a grown ass man._ “Would you like to come upstairs?” _Fuck, you sound like you’re propositioning her._

“Oh. Yes!” Penny stood up quickly. “I have your books!”

“Oh. Great.” He smiled. “Er. If you’ll follow me?”

He led her up the stairs to his little apartment, which was thankfully clean. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Um. I don’t really drink coffee.” Penny blushed.

“Tea? I have, uh… peppermint?”

“Sure.”

He set the kettle on, grateful to have a task. What had he been thinking? He could hardly say an entire sentence to her without losing his cool. This was a disaster.

Penny walked over to his bookcase, still limping slightly, and he frowned, walking over to join her.

“Penny,” he said gently, “What happened to your leg?”

He probably would have missed it, if he hadn’t been looking directly in her eyes. If he hadn’t seen the expression before: the brief flash of fear across her face. And then she was laughing, and he wondered if it had actually happened.

“Oh, that. I just fell the other day.” She laughed, making a dismissive gesture. “I’m kind of clumsy sometimes.”

“Not adventuring at night after a book again, were you?” he joked, and she laughed again.

“No, I just tripped. It’s kind of embarrassing, really.”

“It happens to the best of us. But your leg is okay? You don’t need it looked at? You are above a medical clinic right now.”

“No, no.” she waved a hand. “Just some bruises. Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Any time. You know you’re always welcome.” He smiled back at her, warmth running through his body. She was so magical, the way her smile lit up her pale little features. It felt so good to see her laughing like that. He must have just imagined the fearful expression.“What did you think of the first two books? Did the second one live up to your expectations?”

“It did! And I really liked the romance between Gregoir and Lady Amedalia. I love romantic stories.” She blushed. “I know that’s kind of lame.”

“No, not at all.” He said, still smiling. “I like a good love story. It adds a whole new dimension to a book.”

“Yeah.” She was still prettily flushed, and he tried desperately not to stare at her. “They were amazing books. Could I still ask to borrow some more from you?”

“Of course!” he said, pleased she had asked. “Let me grab those for you. You’re in for a treat!” She smiled warmly, and he pushed away the lingering thoughts about that brief fearful expression. He must have imagined it. “Here you are. And would you like to have a seat? The tea should be just a moment.”

“Sure.” She took the books from his hands and sat down in one of the armchairs he had motioned to.

The kettle was just starting to boil, and he found two clean mugs to serve it in. He walked carefully to the coffee table and took the chair next to Penny’s.

“Thank you.” She said, carefully picking up the mug he had placed in front of her and blowing gently on it. “I um, I have a question for you.”

“Of course, ask away.” He replied, pulling the other mug closer to him.

She tilted her head to the side. “Who is Jeremiah Hemphill?”

He was grateful he hadn’t picked up the mug yet, because he jerked back in surprise. He hadn’t heard that name for a long time. He flushed bright red, looking at the floor. “Um. Where did you see that?”

“It was in one of your books. I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”

He didn’t meet her eyes. “Um.  It’s me. That’s my name. Jeremiah Harvey Hemphill. Don’t tell anyone, please. It’s a very embarrassing name.”

“It’s a perfectly nice name!” Penny exclaimed. “You should never be ashamed of who you are.”

He looked up at her in surprise. She looked indignant, nothing like her usual unassuming, shy self.

“Well, thanks.” He smiled nervously. “I’ve never really been comfortable with it. I’m the latest in a long line of Jeremiahs, to be honest. The sixteenth.”

“Wow. That’s so cool, though! I imagine it must be nice to be part of something like that.”

“I guess it depends on the family.” He shrugged. “I don’t really feel like it fits me. All fifteen other Jeremiahs were soldiers. I’m the only Jeremiah Hemphill who hasn’t joined the army. I wanted to, I really did – I wanted to be an air force pilot – but I couldn’t get in. My vision is too bad. Kind of a family disappointment, really.” He looked at his shoes again, kicking himself. Why had he added that last sentence?

 “I can’t believe anyone would be disappointed in someone for becoming a doctor.” Penny sounded surprised, not pitying like he had expected. “You’re the most respected man in this town.”

Harvey flushed again. He hadn’t expected that, and the words were extra potent coming from her. “I- well, thank you. That’s very kind. People haven’t usually liked me much in the past.” Great, now he sounded like a super loser. Why couldn’t he control his mouth around her?

“I know what that feels like.” He looked up in surprise at her words, and she blushed, too. “I mean, well. I’m very shy. Not good at making friends.”

She probably had struggled socially in school, he realized. It wasn’t hard to notice that she and her mother were the poorest and shabbiest dressed people in town, and it couldn’t be easy to be the only family living in a trailer. Children tended to be mean to anyone who was different.

“Same.” He smiled again, trying to put her at her ease. “My college days were pretty lonely. I was far too shy to make many friends.” He paused, and then decided to just go for it. “And between a combination of being mostly blind, a little on the scrawny side, and far too stubborn for my own good, I got bullied a lot.”

Penny shook her head at him and smiled back at him. “I can’t even imagine that. You’re always so confident and composed. And so nice.”

Like she was hitting him in the heart with a hammer at every word. Him? Confident? Composed?

“And you’re very sweet and anyone would be silly to not want to be friends with you.” Was that too much? She was blushing.

“I’m not that great.” She looked at the floor. “You’ve probably noticed I live in a trailer.” Her mouth twisted at the last word, and it sent a pang through his heart.

“That doesn’t make you any less great.” He said, firmly. “You’re a good person, and you do a lot for this community. A lot for Jas and Vincent, especially. That matters more than any kind of housing arranging ever could.”

She was still looking at the floor. “Thank you. You’re very nice. I still just wish- well, it doesn’t matter.”

It was an emotional rollercoaster, being near her. A moment ago he had felt flattered; now his heart was breaking. He could hardly bare being near her smiles because they affected him so much; seeing her unhappy was agonizing.

“I’ll tell you a secret.” He said, leaning forward a bit, and she looked up at him. “I know some of the younger folk make fun of my moustache. I know it’s not really a popular style anymore, but I’ve got a reason for it.” She looked curious, and he plunged on, because being embarrassed was better than seeing her look sad.

“I’ve got one of those little classic beauty marks. The kind actresses paint on their faces. It looks kind of ridiculous. ‘Mademoiselle’ was one of my nicknames in school. You can see it if you look closely.” He tapped his moustache, and she bit her lip and gave him a shy smile.

And then to his horror, she _did_ look closely, leaning in close to his face – and before he could react he felt her small fingers parting his moustache and he froze completely, heart hammering in his chest.

Their eyes met, just inches away from each other, and she pulled away as if she had been burnt and turned bright red. “I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have- um.”

“No, it’s fine. Um. It’s fine.” They stared at each other, faces burning.

“I should probably go.” She stood up abruptly. “Thank you so much, Harvey. Um. I’ll see you around?”

“Okay.” He didn’t know what else to say. “Um. Enjoy the books. Thank you for coming.”

She gathered her bag up and hurried out without another word. The door closed quietly behind her, and he stared at it for a long time.

He could still feel her small fingers pressing against his upper lip, could still smell the soap on her hands, and Yoba, if that wasn’t the cruelest thing yet.

He was such an idiot. A stupid, infatuated idiot.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of agonized over this a bit because I didn't know if Jeremiah would be too dorky for Harvey? It definitely doesn't suit him! But that was kind of the point, so I kept it. There you all go - the great unveiling of Harvey's deepest secret!


	13. Tricksters - Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 13, babes! In which Maru is very sneaky and Penny thinks about a lot of stuff. So much stuff that this chapter ended up being super long.

He was in her head.

Penny knew what it was like to have a crush. She had dreamed of romance for all of her life – naturally she had spent plenty of time considering the boys in town. Sam, who was kind and bright and funny and always made an effort to include the shy girl in the corner. Sebastian, who had never really looked twice at her, but was quiet and broody and she felt like maybe they had more in common than showed on the surface. Alex, who was tall and handsome and looked like maybe he had some kind of secret sadness.

This felt different.

None of those boys had ever held her eyes captive with a warm hazel gaze, had said to her face that living in a trailer didn't make her any less of a person.

Never in her life had anyone looked at her like _that._

She didn't know what it meant. All she knew one that under that look, she felt like someone who mattered. Like she could almost believe his words. And now she couldn't get him out of her head.

There was just something so different about him. She had never felt as guilty lying to anyone as she had felt when she lied to him about her leg, his hazel eyes boring into her soul. She was well used to lying – she had been doing it all her life – but under his steady gaze she felt as if she were ten again, telling her teachers that she had just tripped going down the stairs, the bruises were nothing to worry about. Trying desperately to keep her composure.

And then he had compounded that guilt by opening up to her, telling her about his own past. He was so open, so frank, so wholesomely honest.

He had broken through to that secret piece of her that wasn’t afraid all the time – and then she had ruined it, of course, by being impulsive and _touching his face._

She cringed at the memory. He had looked so shocked – not that she blamed him. She had been wildly inappropriate. She had ruined everything, like she always did.

Penny sighed and leaned back on the bench she was waiting on. Maru had called her last night to suggest they meet up after she got off work.

Hopefully she didn’t ask why Penny hadn’t been back to the clinic to visit her or Harvey in over a week and a half. Penny didn’t really want to answer that question.

She had read Harvey’s books, and then reread the fourth in the series a second time. The third book had the same inscription as the second one did: “ _To Jeremiah Hemphill, with love from your uncle Eddie.”_ The fourth book just had “ _Harvey Hemphill”_ written in a top corner, in neat, clear letters _._ She wondered if it was his writing.

She wanted to go see him again. She wanted to look in those warm, gentle eyes. She wanted him to look at him the way he had in his apartment.

She couldn’t, though. Not after she had acted like that. She didn’t know how to face him.

“Hey, cute stuff.” She looked up, and Maru was grinning, leaning over the bench. “Long time no see.”

“Hey.” She smiled. “How was work?”

“Ugh!” Maru threw herself dramatically down onto the bench. “It’s like a morgue in there. Or a funeral. Or Sebastian’s bedroom. Or Pierre’s when Joja is having a sale. Or the dinner table that one time I got a B- in English-“

“I get it!” Penny interrupted her, laughing. “I get it. What’s going on in the clinic?”

“I don’t know.” Maru groaned. “Harvey is just so mopey. It’s like his sense of humour crawled into a corner and died or something. I have no idea what is up with him, he’s just sulking all the time and won’t say anything.”

“Oh.” Penny tried not to blush at the mention of his name, and failed.

“Penny?” Maru cocked her head at her. “Is, uh, something up?”

Penny blushed harder.

“Something with you and Harvey?”

“Shhh!” Penny whispered, looking around them, then hesitated. Maru had trusted her enough to tell her about her sexuality; she could tell Maru, if no one else. “Maru… I think I like him.”

Maru squealed and clapped her hands over her mouth. “Penny!”

“I know, I know.” Penny looked at her hands. “I mean, he’s the town _doctor_ , it’s totally hopeless. I don’t know what I’m thinking. He’s just so nice…”

“No!” Maru exclaimed. “That’s wonderful!” When Penny looked at her enquiringly, she continued, “You goobers are perfect for each other. The town book nerds!”

“It’s not like that, though, Maru. I mean, he’s a doctor. He’s got an education and a respected reputation. I’m… well, I’m just me. The town drunk’s kid.”

“Penny.” Maru’s eyes softened, and Penny looked away. “Pen, he blushes every time I say your name. I’m pretty sure he’s crazy about you.”

“He’s probably just still embarrassed because I made such an idiot out of myself last time I saw him.” Penny’s face was still burning. “Honestly, forget I said anything, Maru. Don’t get any ideas… he’s just been very nice to me and I got some silly ideas. Nothing is going to happen.”

“Is that why you haven’t been to the clinic lately?” Maru asked.

“Yeah. I just… I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I get it.” Maru smiled at her. “Hey, I’m thinking about doing some fishing this weekend, down in Cindersap. Dad has some fish species he wants me help finding. Want to come along for a picnic?”

“That sounds nice.” Penny smiled back. “I would love that. What do you want me to bring?”

“Let’s figure that out later this week. Why don’t we go shopping together on Friday for some supplies, and we’ll go Saturday morning?”

“Perfect.”

Maru was a wonderful friend, she reflected. Always there for her, but never pushing too hard. She was so lucky to have her.

\---

_Maru is a terrible friend._

They had agreed to meet by the dock on Cindersap lake, and Penny stood frozen on the path, staring.

There was the picnic blanket. There was Maru, carefully baiting a fishing hook. And there was Harvey, drinking from a thermos. _There was Harvey_.

She could run. They hadn’t seen her yet. She had all the food – brilliant scientist Maru was a terrible cook - but Maru could go without after pulling a trick like this. She _knew_ Penny didn’t want to be around Harvey. She knew that. Why would she do this to her?

That would be the best thing. She would just go.

And then, of course, her bad luck continued and Harvey looked up and saw her, face breaking into a smile. “Hey, Penny!” he called.

Maru turned, and gave her a big, guiltless grin. “Pen! I’m glad you made it!”

Penny ground her teeth and walked over to them.

“Hey.” She said, putting her basket down and sitting on the edge of the blanket furthest from Harvey. “Um, good morning, doctor.”

“Morning.” He was a little red in the face. “Um, would you like some tea? I brought some… I know you don’t drink coffee, so, um…”

So he had known she would be there. She carefully ignored the fact that he had also remembered she didn’t drink coffee. He was just nice. Just nice. “Sure. Thank you.” She managed an awkward little smile, and he returned it as he reached across the blanket to hand her a second thermos.

Their hands touched briefly as she took it and she tried to ignore the shock that ran through her body at the contact.

This was hell. She had been expecting a quiet morning, reading and working on the children’s schoolwork in the peaceful silence of the forest while Maru fished. Not _this_. What was she supposed to do?

She looked at Maru, who was wearing a self-satisfied smirk. “Well,” the girl said, standing and stretching, “Hopefully you’ll be my good luck charm, Penny, because I’ll I’ve found so far this morning is carp.

“Good luck.” Penny replied with a small smile, conscious of Harvey watching. Later… later, Maru was going to get one heck of a lecture.

Maru grinned back, and walked to the dock, leaving Penny and Harvey alone to face each other in awkward silence.

“Well.” Harvey looked uncomfortable. “This book isn’t going to read itself. Sometimes I wish doctoring involved less study, but at least this is a lovely place to study in.”

He held a hardcover titled _Advice for At Home Births_ , and Penny looked at it curiously.

“Elizabeth doesn't want a home birth, fortunately,” Harvey said, noticing her looking. “But the facilities of the clinic are so minimal that she almost might as well be giving birth at home. We’re still hours away from a hospital. I wish she would just agree to go stay in Zuzu before the birth.”

“Oh.” Penny’s dreams of motherhood had never taken into consideration the mechanics of giving birth in a small town. “Well, um. I’ll let you read. I have some homework of my own.” She motioned to the folder containing the children’s schoolwork, then flushed. Grading essays wasn’t really comparable to learning about childbirth.

Harvey didn’t seem to mind – of course he didn’t, he was always so polite – just nodded, smiling, and opened his book.

They sat in silence for a while, Harvey reading, Penny marking, Maru making the occasional splash as she fished on the nearby dock. It was lovely and peaceful, despite Harvey’s unexpected presence – maybe even, in part, because of it. Despite the turmoil in her head, there was something comforting about him, the relaxed way he sprawled on the ground reading, occasionally brushing his wavy hair away from his eyes, twisting one end of his moustache between two fingers.

She was staring again. Penny quickly returned her gaze to Vincent’s essay. _Why I want to Be A Famous Skateboarder._ Penny hoped he would come up with some more lucrative – and likely – dreams in the future, but it was rather sweet how much he idolized his big brother. Mayor Lewis was just about pulling his hair out between the two of them.

Jas’s essay was much more practical – and, actually, fairly likely to become true – _Why I Want to Be the Best Rancher in the Valley_. Farm life agreed with Jas, apparently – Penny was glad that Elizabeth had expanded her operations to include livestock after Shane and Jas moved in with her. But she had saved that one for after; grading Vincent’s essays tended to be a lot more difficult.

_“My brother Sam is a grate skateboarder. He has taght me how me how to do many tricks. He showed me how to do a kickflip last week but I coudn’t land and fell into one of the gardins. No one saw so we told Mom I had got dirty digging up pretty rocks. We found a rock so it wasn’t an untruth. Mom liked the rock.”_

She chuckled a bit at that. It was very sweet that Vincent trusted her so much, but she really wished he could be a _little_ less honest in his essays. It put her in a bit of an uncomfortable situation.

“I imagine the kids must come up with some pretty funny stuff.”

She looked up, surprised – she had almost forgotten that she wasn’t alone. “Um. Yeah. Especially Vincent. Sometimes he tells a bit more than he maybe should.”

“Oh?” Harvey tweaked an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Well… if you don’t tell anyone else?”

“Of course.” He winked, and her heart flipped. “I imagine teacher-student confidentiality is as essential as doctor-patient. Don’t worry, I keep secrets well.”

She giggled nervously. “Um. Here. This paragraph.” She shoved it towards him. It wasn’t as much of a reach, and she realized he had moved closer to her.

He took it, and the corners of his mouth twitched as he read it over. “That young man. I had noticed some of the flowers were looking a bit sad.”

“He’s a little troublemaker.” She smiled. “Not as much as Jas, though. She’s the one you really have to watch out for.”

“Jas?” he looked surprised. “She’s always perfectly well behaved when she comes to see me.”

“Oh yes. She’s very good at behaving well when people are watching.” Penny shook her head. “Remember the weird colour of the soup at the luau this summer?”

“As if I could forget!” Harvey laughed. “I’ve never seen the governor look so nervous. Blue soup! It was still good, though.”

“And no one could figure out how or why it was blue. Until later that day, I noticed that part of Jas’s wrist was stained blue. The little trickster had been smart enough to wear gloves, at least, but some got on her arm. She had mixed almost a whole bottle of blue food colouring into some soft goat cheese, then covered it with undyed goat cheese. Into the soup and nobody notices a thing – until the cheese gets broken up, that is.”

“And you covered up for her!” Harvey grinned at her. “Sounds like those two aren’t the only troublemakers in town.”

Penny blushed. “Well, I did tell her parents. But really… Mayor Lewis would hold a grudge, he takes that soup so seriously. And it was a harmless trick. She did promise not to do it again, at least.”

“I wish she did it every year. Not a lot of people ate the soup, so there was more leftovers for lazy town bachelors like me who aren’t phased by a bit of colour. I ate like a king for days!”

She had eaten well, too – her mom wouldn’t touch the stuff but Penny was been grateful to have some good free food. She usually only got to take home that much soup on the years when it tasted bad.

“Anyway,” Harvey added, when she didn’t reply, “I much prefer that trick to the pranks we used to get from Sam and Sebastian - like the anchovy soup! Jas and Vincent are growing up to be great young people.”

“I like to think so.” Penny smiled. “I’m very fond of them.”

“Me too. I love children.” Harvey smiled back, a bit sadly. “I wish I could have some of my own.” He shrugged. “Not getting any younger, though. And I am very lucky to have a very fulfilling job.”

Penny looked at him. He wasn’t that old – maybe early thirties. There were soft lines around his eyes that crinkled when he smiled. A few touches of silver in his hair, a few in the edges of his moustache. It was strange to hear her own little wish being repeated out loud to her. She worried about time passing too – her twenty-sixth birthday was coming up soon, and she still hadn’t even held hands with someone. That little dream became less and less likely each year.

Imagine if Maru was right. Imagine if…

But she wasn’t, and Harvey was just very kind. Penny had to remember that. Had to keep that in the front of her mind.

“I like children, too. We are very lucky to have Jas and Vincent in town. And the new baby, when it comes along. I hope Shane and Elizabeth will have more children, some day, too. They have a lovely home for raising a family.”

“It is perfect for children. Although I don’t look forward to having to deliver them!” He laughed. “Better than that emergency surgery I had to do last year, at least. At least I can read up on this.” He cocked his head at her, catching her in that warm gaze again. “Speaking of reading, how are those books coming along?”

Penny blushed. There was a library book from Gunther sitting in the basket beside her – she had gone back to rereading his fantasy section now that she was done Harvey’s books. “Um. Good. I finished them.”

“You should come for more, then.” Harvey said, still holding her eyes. “You’re always welcome to come by the clinic.”

“Thanks.” She looked down. Somehow talking to him today was less awkward than she had expected, even if she couldn’t help replaying that moment in his apartment over and over. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” Harvey’s voice was warm, friendly. “I’ve never meet anyone else who reads as voraciously as I do – it’s very exciting to have another book lover around.”

Her, exciting. That was not a description she had ever heard before.

She was saved from replying by Maru, who was heading back down the dock, feet thumping on the boards. “Are you guys starving yet or what?” she called. “I could eat one of Marnie’s cows right now.”

“I could go for something.” Harvey smiled at Maru. “Maybe let’s leave Marnie’s cows alone, though. She could probably kick both of our asses.”

“Good call.” Maru thumped down on the blanket. “Come on, Pen, what wonders have you created for us?”

It gave her a bit of a pang, watching how comfortable Maru was with the doctor. She was never tongue-tied by the anxiety that always plagued Penny.

Of course, she wasn’t head over heels for Harvey, either.

“They’re not wonders,” she said, embarrassed. “Just sandwiches. And,” she shot a glare at Maru, “Now I get why you wanted me to make so many!”

“Less sass, more food, Pen.” Maru winked at her.

Penny opened her basket and pulled out the sandwiches she had made. Six of them, which seemed like an obscenely large number for two girls – especially when Penny could generally only eat about half a sandwich if she tried to eat during the day. “Harvey, what would you like first? There’s ham and cheese, or chicken salad.” She purposely ignored her friend.

“The chicken, please.” Harvey seemed a bit confused at the exchange between them, and she kicked herself for mentioning Maru’s secretiveness. She certainly didn’t want him knowing that she had been avoiding him.

“I’ll do the ham.” Maru said, leaning back. “Your godly chicken salad is something to be savoured, and I plan to devour this first one.”

“Maru, really.” Penny blushed. She handed the sandwiches out, selecting a chicken one for herself. It wasn’t often she got to have chicken – Maru had bought the ingredients.

Not that she was even remotely hungry. Even if she was, there was no way she would be able to eat with Harvey there – it was hard to eat in front of people at the best of times.

So she just nibbled, while Maru and Harvey talked, making the odd contribution when they asked her something. The sun was warm, the birds were singing, and she was in good company.

Maybe there was a chance to be friends with Harvey, despite her awkwardness. And maybe – just maybe – she would forgive Maru for tricking her.


	14. Moonlight - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My boyfriend's alarm went off at 6 and I thought it was my 7am alarm so I got up. Soooo here's another chapter, since I have some time to spare this morning! 
> 
> I also woke up to the most wonderful thing ever: FAN ART! The wonderful, beautiful, talented [ Obsequious_Numina](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsequious_Numina/pseuds/Obsequious_Numina) illustrated [a scene from Chapter 4.](https://fanabout.tumblr.com/post/162265988874/doodle-for-a-scene-from-find-the-courage-to-hope)
> 
> In this chapter: Harvey is nervous. Penny is nervous. (What else is new?) Pam does a cameo. (A Pameo? Geez, I need more sleep.)

Harvey had been more than a little surprised when Maru had invited him to go on a picnic with Penny and her. They had never spent time together outside of the office, aside from talking at town festivals.

He was fairly sure she was just matchmaking, but he found he didn't mind. He _did_ want to see Penny. She hasn't visited for a full week and a half after coming to his apartment and he was driving himself insane, trying to figure out what she was thinking about after their awkward goodbyes.

She had seemed surprised to see him, and he suspected Maru hadn't told her that he was invited. He could only assume she had been avoiding him, but it had turned out fine. She had even shyly come into the clinic on Monday to return his books and borrow new ones.

Then on Wednesday, Maru invited him to come with them to watch the annual jellyfish migration taking place the next day, which marked the end of summer in Stardew Valley. And dropped a bomb on him. "I don't know if you've checked Penny's file lately," - with a cheeky wink - "But the migration is actually taking place on her birthday this year. September 2nd."

Which is why he was in Mayor Lewis's truck at 6:30 AM on the morning of a town holiday, driving down to Zuzu City.

He had known what he wanted to get her the moment Maru had mentioned her birthday. A book, of course - what else?

And which book was obvious too. It had been his favourite, right up until the day he had been reading it in the bath one day and dropped it in the water. Gunther didn't have a copy, so he knew Penny wouldn't have read it.

Just a simple love story, about a small-town teacher and a widowed preacher, but it had been the most beautiful writing he had ever come across. He had shed more than one tear over it. He didn't know Penny as well as he wanted to, but he was certain she loved delicate prose as much as he did.

It was 8:20 when he arrived at the bookstore in Zuzu he frequented for medical books. Ten minutes before it opened, so he sat in Lewis's musty-smelling truck watched the morning traffic pass him.

He hopped out as the owner showed up in the front door and flipped over the closed sign.

“Doc!” The friendly bookseller greeted him as he entered. “Another visit so soon? What an honour!”

Harvey laughed. “Just reading up a storm lately, Fred. Got anything new?”

“The latest book in that popular teen series about elves.” Fred winked at him. “Oh, and a few more childbirth books, like you asked for, and the one on arthritis. Nothing else yet, though.

“Oh, wonderful.” Harvey smiled warmly at him. “And, um, I’m looking for one other book today. Fiction. It’s called _The Lady_? By Marilla Blythe.”

“In the classics section. Third shelf from the sign.” If Fred was surprised to see Harvey branching out, he didn’t show it.

It was exactly where he had indicated, in both hard and soft cover. He selected the hardcover for Penny, and then grabbed the softcover for himself. He had been meaning to get around to replacing his copy for… well, about a year now.

Fred usually kept his requested books behind the counter, but he stopped by the medical section anyways. He didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but he had been a bit concerned about Penny on the day of the picnic.

There it was. _Disordered Eating: Symptoms and Recovery Methods_. That would do just fine.

\---

At eight that evening, Harvey gathered all the scraps of courage he had and walked down to the little trailer to give Penny her birthday gift.

He had never actually been to the trailer before, and his heart hammered as he stood on the small steps and knocked on the door.

He jumped back as it slammed open, and Pam looked down at him, a can of beer in one hand. “Oh. Hey, doc! Whadda’ya want?” She said, leaning unsteadily against the doorframe, clearly drunk.

“Um. I’m looking for Penny?” Pam made him uncomfortable at the best of times.

Her bloodshot eyes narrowed at him, mouth twisting. “What ya buggin’ my Penny for? Ya fuckin’ around with my daughter?”

 “Mom!” came an anguished cry from inside, and Penny showed up beside her mother, looking mortified.

“You fuckin’ around with boys again, Penny?” Pam slurred, looking at her daughter.

“Mom, I am not – I am not _messing_ around with anyone. Harvey is the doctor, for goodness sake. Please don’t swear at him.” Penny’s face was red enough to drown out all of her freckles, and his heart broke to look at her. “Harvey, I am so sorry. How can I help you?”

“I, um. Maru said it’s your birthday.” He handed the wrapped book to her, avoiding Pam’s piercing stare.

“Fuck, Penny, you shoulda told me it’s your birthday.” Pam burped, then laughed raucously. “Ya wan’ a beer? Doc, you can have one too, if you ain’t plannin’ to impregnate my gal.”

“Er – I’m alright, thanks, Pam.” Harvey muttered, looking at Penny’s miserable expression. Anger was rising in his chest, but he pushed it down. That wouldn’t help her.

“It’s fine, Mom.” She sighed, avoiding his gaze. “Um. Thanks, Harvey. Sorry about this.”

“Right. Um. See you. Bye Pam.”

He turned and hurried away, although not fast enough to miss hearing Pam slur to Penny, “Y’could do worse, Penny, docs make lotsa cash. Just get hitched first, then he can’t run away like yer paw did.”

When he returned to the clinic, he sat down at the front desk and spent a long time looking at the blank wall across from him, replaying the scene in his head.

Was she okay?

The strange eating at the picnic. Her thinness. The expressions of fear. Rushing out of his clinic late at night. And now this – this bizarre interaction with her mother. _“Ya fuckin’ around with my daughter?”_

 Maru said she didn’t like questions about her home life. Was she hiding something? Or just ashamed of the way she had to live? He could remember the bitter expression on her face when she had mentioned her home _._

He didn’t know enough to make any assumptions, but Yoba, he was worried. And angry, at Pam, at the way she had treated Penny. Forgetting her birthday. Accusing her of ‘fuckin’ around with boys’.

And maybe a little disappointed, and a little ashamed of that disappointment, at the way Penny had pushed away Pam’s accusation – _“Harvey is the doctor, for goodness sake.”_ He was the doctor, her doctor, definitely not someone that she could be interested in.

Not that it mattered. She was still too young, no matter how silly his heart got over her. And what she needed, clearly, was a friend. Living with that— that— _crudity,_ being spoken to that way. The tired, shamed look on her face had been so painful to see. She deserved better.

He wouldn’t say anything, he decided. But he would keep a closer eye on her, and if an opportunity to provide support came up, he would take it.

When Maru and Penny came to meet him in front of the clinic at 9:30, he pasted on a smile and returned Maru’s cheerful greeting with an equally cheerful response. Penny avoided his eyes, he noticed, and it sent a pang through him.

Maru was happy to ignore the tension, though, and chatted merrily, filling the walk down to the beach. He joined her in conversation, occasionally sending nervous glances Penny’s way, but Penny stayed silent, watching her feet.

“Let’s go on the second dock.” Maru suggested. “Where my brother usually is. We can just stay at the halfway point.”

“Sounds good to me.” Harvey replied. The jellyfish came right up to the shore, usually, so there wasn’t any need to go too far out.

Maru led them down to the dock and plunked down on the boards by the water. Penny sat down next to her, still silent, and Harvey nervously sat himself beside Penny. She gave him a sad little look, and he smiled at her, heart pounding.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” She murmured, finally. “She’s just… well, she’s just overprotective, that’s all.”

“It’s no problem.” He replied, still smiling as gently as he could. “People say silly things when they’ve been drinking.”

She looked relieved. “Yeah. Thanks for understanding. And, um, for the present.”

“No problem. I hope you like it. And, um, I hope it was a nice birthday.” That was a stupid thing to say. Clearly it hadn’t been.

“It was.” She replied though, smiling, and he cringed at the thought that maybe that was just the norm for her. “The children brought me cards and gifts, which was really too thoughtful of them. And this,” she gestured at the sea in front of them, “This is a lovely way to celebrate.”

“Not to mention the amazing gift from your best friend.” Maru added, nudging Penny.

“And the amazing gift from my best friend, yes.” She smiled at Maru. “I still can’t believe you actually made me a set of pens. That must have been a lot of work.”

Maru grinned. “Pens for Pen. It was worth it. You don’t turn twenty-six every year, you know.”

Penny laughed, and Harvey’s heart flipped.

She was twenty-six?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LM Montgomery is my favourite author, so of course I had to slide a reference to her in there. 
> 
> I spend a lot of time reading or writing on my phone in the bath and I am always terrified that I'll drop it in! Naturally Harvey would, though. He probably fell asleep or something.


	15. Moonlight - Maru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance of the Moonlight Jellies is my favourite festival, so I decided to split the event into three. Here's part two. :)

Her two best friends sat beside her, head over heels for each other. There was an incoming wave of luminescence, as the glowing jellyfish approached.  And at the edge of her vision there was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, hair shining in the moonlight.

The Dance of the Moonlight Jellies was Maru’s favourite festival. It felt a little strange to be not standing next to her father, but she had made the right choice. It felt good, sitting here with Harvey and Penny. Independent. Her dad had been disappointed but understanding, and had definitely been appeased by the fact that she was hanging out with Harvey. He approved of the doctor as a friend for Maru.

Sebastian was a few yards away, sitting at the end of the dock with his friend Sam, while Abigail stood near them and Sam’s younger brother Vincent ran back and forth. He had given her a little smile when they had walked past, and she felt buoyant with happiness at seeing it.

Things hadn’t changed much since she had visited him in his bedroom a few weeks ago, but he had met her eyes a couple times. And once, when they were all alone in the house and passed each other in the hallway, he had asked her if she had met any girls yet.

She hadn’t, but that outreach had meant the world to her.

The jellyfish were almost to the dock now, and Penny and Harvey both had rapt expressions on their faces. They were sitting very close together, which she suspected neither of them had noticed.

She was happy for them. The picnic had gone off better than she had hoped for, and Penny hadn’t even been too upset after. She had given Maru a bit of a lecture, but her heart hadn’t been in it, and she had been appeased by Maru’s lie that she wasn’t matchmaking, just hoping that her two best friends would become friends, too. She had been willing to come tonight, as well, and spend it with Maru and Harvey.

It would still take some work to get either of them to actually admit that they wanted to pursue the other, and then actually getting them to talk… well, that was a problem for another day.

Maru glanced over at the other pair sitting near. Haley and Alex, always together. It kind of hurt to look at them. Haley was mesmerizing, though. She was so beautiful, everything she did so graceful. Maru thought ruefully of her own overalls and heavy boots.  Haley always outshone anyone else she was near.

They had been best friends once. The youngest in the village, years apart from everyone else. They had been inseparable, until Alex had come along and Maru had ruined everything.

It had taken a long time to realize that it was her fault. She had blamed Alex first, because it had happened when he moved to town. It had taken years to understand that he was only the catalyst, and it was all on her.

She hadn’t known that she was in love with Haley at the time. She didn’t even know that she was gay. They had only been thirteen, still figuring out puberty and hormones and what feelings really were. Haley was the center of her world, though, and she had been crazy about her.

And then Alex moved to town, one year their senior. Back then he hadn’t been so cool or confident; he was shy and nervous, prone to looking sad and lonely.

Maru had been the first to approach him, a move she later learned to regret. Haley was never good with meeting new people, but she had grudgingly agreed that they could hang out with him – she didn’t like to see anyone sad, either, and Alex had looked very sad.

They hadn’t been close, at first, Haley and Alex. Maru had been the bridge between them, and she liked it that way. She wanted Alex to have friends, of course, but she wanted Haley all to herself.

Then Haley wanted to join swim team but was too shy to go alone, so Maru persuaded Alex to join with her. She didn’t especially want them hanging out more, but Haley being happy was the top priority. Joining herself was out of the question: she had science club and the student council meetings to attend, as well as the additional tutoring sessions her dad made her take.

Suddenly they were thick as thieves, and Maru had real competition for Haley’s friendship – or at least it felt like it. The needle that broke the camel’s back was when Haley, blushing nervously, admitted to having a crush on Alex.

She started hanging out with Penny instead, and thirteen years of friendship fell apart in what felt like days.

Haley’s hurt face when she walked by them to sit with Penny stung to see, but Maru had felt justified; Haley had decided to pick someone over her first. She wasn’t going to sit around and play second fiddle to some dumb jock.

There was still a pang whenever she saw her though, even now, eight years later. The feelings never went away, even when she wasn’t spending time with Haley; as time passed they only coalesced into something more concrete.

When Haley and Maru were in eleventh grade Haley had dated Alex for six months, and it was the longest six months of Maru’s life. It had made her so angry that Haley still had that kind of control over her; that she could make Maru so miserable without even looking at her. She had gotten her one and only B- that semester, and her father had been furious.

She celebrated when they broke up. Penny didn’t understand why Maru invited had her over to eat cake, but had been happy to join her anyways. Penny would never understand.

She had looked at the online dating site a few times. There had been girls nearby – none in town, but a few in the surrounding towns. Some had seemed interesting, but none were interesting enough. None of them had soft, round faces framed by pale gold hair, bright blue eyes surrounded by long lashes, and a gentle roundness to their bodies. She had an ideal in her head and no one else could match up to it.

Haley still owned her heart, still controlled her.

The jellies were almost at the shore now, close enough that they lit the water up with a soft blue glow. Haley’s pale face reflected it, her hair glittering, and it was far more beautiful than any miracle of nature could possibly be.  


	16. Moonlight - Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The third Moonlight chapter. I'm trying to play with using more imagery. Not totally sure how well I pulled it off, but at least there's some fluff in here to distract y'all if the writing is bad. ;)

It was a magical night.

She sat on the side of the dock and the mysterious, beautiful jellyfish lazily swam mere feet away from her toes.

Harvey was sitting next to her, close enough that she could smell him; he smelled like floral soap and the sharp, sterile scent of the clinic. Maru was on her other side, leaning up against one of the upright beams that supported the dock, one of her knees pressing lightly against Penny’s leg.

It was silent, despite the presence of nearly the entire village on the shores and dock. There was something special about the jellyfish, and everyone understood that. 

In the corner of her eye, she could see Maru, looking away from the water at something behind Penny. She didn’t want to move, to break this perfect, still moment, so she just watched Maru. She had a wistful expression on her face, an oddly gentle look for the vibrant girl. It seemed intimate, and Penny looked away after a moment, feeling like she was intruding on something.

She turned her attention back to the water. The waves lapped below, the jellyfish swam, and she imagined leaning her head on Harvey’s shoulder. It was so close, the thick material of his green corded jacket almost brushing against her own sweater.

That would be bold, though, and Penny wasn’t bold.

For a long time she just sat, watching the creatures below, shoulder to shoulder with Harvey, breathing in the gentle floral and sharp sterile scent. For once, her head felt clear, her nagging anxieties pushed aside by the calm enchantment of the night.

In a world with nature like this… well, who was to say there weren’t junimos, or merpeople?

Time only started to exist again when the group at the end made their way down the dock and Sebastian uncharacteristically paused by his sister and leaned over to whisper, “I’m heading home. Are you coming?”

Maru’s eyes were wide and she nodded. “Goodnight, Pen, Harvey.” She whispered, and climbed to her feet, following her brother into the darkness.

Penny realized, with a nervous jolt, that it was probably far past when she should have returned to the trailer. She usually only stayed for an hour – even that made Pam angry sometimes. It must be past midnight if Maru’s brother was already going home.

On the other hand, the damage was already done. She could just stay out until Pam fell asleep, and then sneak back in, like she had done after she had gone looking for her book and ended up at the clinic. Pam might be angry tomorrow, if she remembered, but she would be sober and it wouldn’t be as bad.

The jellyfish were still moving below them, far more than she usually got to see. The water glowed for a long distance around them, and it really did feel like a scene from a fairytale. 

“Penny?” Harvey’s whisper didn’t break the silence, merely gently part it, and to Penny his soft voice was just as beautiful as the setting below them, sending a shiver down her spine. “Are you warm enough?”

She wasn’t really, she realized. Goosebumps had prickled on her legs, and she was uncomfortably chilled. She was used to ignoring the cold, though, and she wasn’t ready for this to end, so she just nodded her head, looking up to meet his gaze.

“Are you sure?” he asked, sounding concerned. “You aren’t dressed very warm. I can give you my jacket if you like.”

Her cheeks warmed. She wanted to say yes – so much – but the idea of wearing his jacket, in front of all these people? She didn’t want to embarrass him, to have people get the wrong idea about them.

His jacket probably smelled like him. She would smell like him.

“I’m okay.” She whispered back, cringing at the timid sound in her voice. She dragged one corner of her mouth up into a shy smile. “Thank you.”

His smile looked much more natural, and sent her heart to pounding. “No problem.” He turned back to look at the water and she followed suit, freed from the grip of his eyes.

Tension trickled into her chest. He was so good. So kind. Her mother had humiliated her so horribly that afternoon, yelling at him – swearing at him – accusing them both of mortifying things. And he had stood so straight, so firm, handing her the gift with such composure, as if being yelled at by her drunken mess of a mother didn’t faze him at all.

She hadn’t had time to unwrap the present, just shove it in the bottom of one of her drawers where her mother couldn’t find it if she got curious. Something to look forward to.

A gust of cold wind hit them, and she couldn’t help the shiver that followed it.

“Would you like to head back now, Penny?” Harvey asked solicitously.

She didn’t, but the cold was starting to bite, and walking would probably help. “Okay. Yeah.” She whispered.

He stood and offered her a hand. She stared at it for a moment, then took it, awkwardly pushing herself up. It was large, warm. Strong. “Thanks.”

They walked down the dock side by side in silence. The beach was mostly empty now, Penny realized. It must be late.

Would her mother still be up? She had started drinking earlier than usual today, with the saloon being closed. And probably was drinking harder than usual, too, with no Gus to keep her in check. Maybe she would have fallen asleep early.

They crossed the bridge that separated the beach from the town, still walking in silence. Harvey made no motion to turn towards the town square, and Penny realized, horrified, that he was walking her home.

Home to the trailer, where, if she were lucky, her mother would be snoring and she could perform her elaborate routine to enter without waking her.

Home to where if she were not lucky, her drunken mother would still be yelling at a blaringly loud TV and throwing beer cans at the wall, and she would either have to stay outside in the darkness until Pam fell asleep, or go up to Maru's.

They passed the Mayor's house. Maybe he would turn off at the road past the saloon? No, that was too much to hope for. The lights from the trailer were in sight. Yoba, the TV was on. Was he going to walk her to the door? What would she do? How could she explain that she couldn’t go in, without arousing suspicion?

She stopped suddenly. This was too much. She couldn't go in there - she would be thrown right back out with a black eye. God, why did he have to walk her home?

"Are you okay?" Harvey stopped too, looking at her with concern.

"Um," - why was it so hard to lie to him? - "I forgot that I was supposed to go to Maru's tonight."

It was a flimsy lie - Maru had walked home earlier without a backwards glance.

A tinny bang came from the nearby trailer, as if her mother were perfectly timing it to further undermine Penny's credibility.

Harvey gave her a long, thoughtful look, but didn’t question her. “Do you mind if we stop at the clinic first?”

“If we – what?” she blinked stupidly.

“You aren’t walking up that mountain alone with no flashlight.” It was the same authoritative voice he used in the clinic, when he was telling her how to treat something.

She gaped at him, and he looked apologetic. “I’m sorry. You’re an adult, you can go wherever you want. But… I would very much appreciate it if you would let me walk you up there. So that I don’t stay up all night worrying about you, if nothing else.” He blushed then, the redness of his face showing even in the dim light.

“I… um, okay.” She didn’t know what was more surprising; his sudden shifts in demeanor, or his insistence on walking her to Maru’s house.

“Thank you. I would just be so worried that you might break a leg. Or something.” He sounded nervous all of a sudden. “You know, doctor stuff. Worrying about people.”

She didn’t know why he was so flustered, but she was grateful not to be the awkward one for once. “Well, thank you. Should we go to the clinic then? For a flashlight?”

“Um. Yeah.” He looked relieved at the suggestion

When they got to the clinic he unlocked the front door and flicked on the lights, then hesitated in the waiting room. “I’ll be right back? Sorry… my place is just kind of messy right now.”

“Oh. Um, sure.” Penny replied, still blinking against the bright light. She sank into one of the blue chairs, grateful for the warmth of the room.

He came back down the stairs a few minutes later, entering the room with a flashlight in one hand and a thick green and yellow sweater in the other. “Sorry...” he said, handing the sweater to Penny. “It’s kind of hideous, but it’s the smallest one I have.”

She unfolded it, and bit her lip to hide her smile. It _was_ hideous; striped, but inconsistently, and on the left breast were the letters ‘J.H.’ and a small heart in red yarn.

“Thank you.” She said. “That’s very nice of you.” She pulled it over her head, and despite being Harvey’s smallest, it still fit more like a dress than a sweater. Even with her arms stretched straight out, the cuffs hung past her fingertips.

“No problem.” He shrugged awkwardly. “I keep it because it’s very comfortable and an aunt made it, but I don’t really wear it outside of the house, because… well… you can see why.” He pulled the clinic door open and motioned. “Shall we?”

Penny walked into the square and he followed, clicking the flashlight on and illuminating the ground in front of her.

They walked in silence, and she was glad for it. This felt oddly surreal. She had climbed the mountain the middle of the night before – sometimes being in the trailer was too much for her to stand – but never with company. She could, for once, enjoy the serenity of the bright stars above, the wind whistling through the trees. Harvey’s sweater was warm, and carried that same clean floral scent with undertones of the sharp, sterile smells of rubbing alcohol and latex. It wasn’t the kind of musky, sensual scent that romance novels described men as having, but Penny liked it. There were no pheromones in this scent, but it was the way Harvey smelled, and that was all Penny needed for her heart to beat faster.

Harvey was walking close beside her, keeping the flashlight courteously in front of her feet. It was bizarre, being treated like this. Like she was someone special. Maru treated her with the warm, friendly kindness of a sister, and aside from her there was no one in the village who saw Penny as much more than a charity case. Harvey acted like she was someone worthy of making an effort for.

It was bewildering.

She tripped against the rough dirt trail, lost in her thoughts, and bit back a shriek when Harvey caught her by the arm. It was too familiar a hold; one usually used by her mother for throwing her.

She must have given her panic away somehow, though, because his grip immediately loosened, holding her gently. “Are you alright, Penny?” he asked, concern in his voice for what felt like the millionth time that night.

 “I’m fine. Just got surprised.” She lied, smiling at him. “Thanks for catching me.” She was shaking, and his hand was still on her arm. Why couldn’t she just control herself? She felt uneasily like he was figuring out far too much, far too quickly. Just for once, she wished she could just act like a normal person.

“Of course.” He dropped his hand. “Please be careful. We’re almost there.”

She knew that, but she nodded anyways, despite the fact that it was probably too dark for him to see that.

They reached the sprawling mountainside house not long after.

 “Where are we going?” Harvey asked, as they passed by the front entrance.

Oh. He probably didn’t go visiting Maru’s bedroom, she realized. “There’s a side entrance – I don’t want to disturb Robin and Demetrius.” She explained.

The light was off in Maru’s room, but there was a little bellpull beside the door. A small tinkle came from inside when Penny pulled it, and Maru turned on the light and opened the door a few minutes later, wearing pajamas and rubbing her eyes. She blinked in confusion at the sight of her guests.

“Penny? Harvey? What are you doing here?”

“I, um, I’m just coming over for the night. Like we planned.” Penny hoped that Maru wasn’t too sleepy to catch on. “Harvey was just walking me up the hill.”

Maru stared at her for a moment. “Oh! Yeah, right, of course!” she exclaimed, realization dawning on her face. “Right. Sorry I forgot, Pen. Thanks for taking care of my girl, Harvey.”

“Of course.” Harvey looked a bit nonplussed, as if he hadn't been expecting Penny's story to be true. “Have a good night, girls. I’ll see you tomorrow Maru – feel free to come in late if you’re tired.”

“Thanks. Walk safe, Harv.” Maru headed back inside, and Penny followed her.

“Thank you, Harvey.” She said to the doctor, smiling shyly, and he smiled back at her.

Maru closed the door, and waited a few moments, then turned to Penny.

“Pen, what on earth are you wearing? And am I a terrible friend that forgot to bring you home with me, or was this a surprise visit?”

Penny laughed, perhaps a bit hysterically. “It’s a long story, Maru. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, maybe. For now, let’s go to bed.”

“Good idea.” Maru sighed. “I’ll grab you some pajamas. There’s no way I’m allowing that hideous sweater into my bed.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent way too much time designing that sweater. Way too much. [ Here's](http://imgur.com/a/haUno) a shitty paint drawing I did of it. One will note that I have zero artistic skills. 
> 
> PS: I love you all so much for continuing to read and comment.
> 
> EMERGENCY EDIT: ART ALERT!!!! Don't look at my crappy paint drawing, look at this [ AMAZING FUCKING ART](https://pixelatedfarmhouse.tumblr.com/post/162530902822/littleredwritingthings-writes-an-adorable). I am so spoiled holy shit guys.


	17. Got Your Back - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least one person has to be sensible around here. Hint: It's not Harvey.

It was a rough morning.

It had been about three in the morning when he had finally gotten to bed the night before, and he had hit the snooze button repeatedly when it was time to wake up four hours later. When he finally did hobble downstairs – at half past nine – Lewis was peering in the window, frowning, and stuck his head in only to say that he was surprised to see the clinic opening so late and inquire after Harvey’s health.

So apparently at least one person cared what time the clinic opened.

There were no clients due that day, which was nice, but made him resent having the clinic open more than usual. Going on that picnic the other day had been amazing – the only day in a long time where he had just closed completely and hadn’t wasted hours sitting at that stupid desk behind the counter.

He drank two cups of coffee between nine-thirty and ten, but that didn’t stop him from being fast asleep, feet up on a chair, when Maru walked in.

“You alright there, sleepyhead?” She said, poking him gently, and he woke up with a start.

He blinked at her, yawning. “What time is it?”

“Ten-thirty.” Maru leaned against the wall. “I’m guessing you didn’t get a lot of sleep? Also, what is up with the foot?”

“Not really.” Harvey sighed, looking at the splint on his foot. “Promise not to tell Penny?”

She shrugged. “Sure. All I do lately is keep secrets anyways.”

He decided to let that pass for now. “I sprained it on the walk down the mountain.”

“Oh Harvey.” Maru laughed. “You’re so precious. And why can’t Penny know that?”

“I don’t want her knowing I got hurt after insisting I walk her up so _she_ didn’t get hurt.” He groaned, rubbing his face with one hand. “Maru, I’m a mess.”

“I know, boss, I know.” She winked at him. “I’m going to go get another chair. And some coffee. Would you like some more?”

“Yes please, you wonderful person. Maybe grab the stool from the exam room? Then you can have your chair back. I would have done it myself, but…” he motioned helplessly at the foot.

“I’ll earn my keep for once.” She grinned.

She came back with the little rolling stool and two mugs of coffee, and helped him awkwardly transfer his foot to the stool. It felt weird to be the patient for once, and he was very, very grateful for Maru’s presence and competence.

She sat down in her chair once he had vacated it, sipping on her heavily-creamed coffee. “So last night was a blast, huh? Had a nice romantic walk with Miss Penny, at least?”

He laughed. “Maru, I don’t think I know how to be romantic.”

“You gave her a sweater and walked her up a mountain in the middle of the night, Harvey.” Maru pointed out. “How much more romantic do you need to be?”

He blushed. “Well… I just… that’s just what I had to do. I didn’t want her to hurt herself. Or be cold.”

“You guys are adorable.” Maru rolled her eyes.

“You think… you think there could be something, huh?” he asked, trying to keep the eagerness out of his voice.

“I thought you were busy denying that you liked her!” Maru tweaked an eyebrow at him. “Something something too young something.”

His cheeks heated up even further. “Maru… I thought she was your age!”

She stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing.

“Harvey,” she gasped, wiping tears from her eyes, “You’re the dumbest doctor I’ve ever met. You’ve seen her file! It’s right there! On the shelf!” she pointed at the filing cabinet behind them.

“I know… I just… it wouldn’t be respectful.” He mumbled. “And I was scared.”

Maru shocked him by throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him soundly on the cheek. “You are the most precious person I have ever known, Harvey. You’re too good to be true.”

“Maru!” he exclaimed, embarrassed. She sat back and grinned at him.

“What about you?” he asked, eager to change the subject. “Any potential romances for you in town here? Any young men worthy of your attention?”

She stiffened, then shrugged, fingers twisting in her hair nervously. “Nah,” she said, tone nonchalant despite her tense body language.  “No guys for me. I’m gay as fuck.”

“Oh.” He felt stupid. “I’m sorry. For assuming, that is.”

“No worries.” She shrugged again, smiling sadly this time. “Everyone does anyways. I doubt half of the town even knows what ‘gay’ means.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” He gave her a warm smile. “People can be pretty sheltered in small towns. I knew a few gay people back when I lived in the city – it was a lot different. My best friend in college was lesbian, in fact.”

“Really?” She seemed surprised, and he realized that Maru was pretty sheltered herself, as well.

“Oh yeah. I had a big ol’ crush on her at first, which sucked for me. But we helped each other meet girls. Well, no. She helped me meet girls, and I hung out awkwardly at bars while she went and worked her magic. She didn’t need any help.” Mel had been a good friend – a great friend. He probably wouldn’t have made it through college without her, in all honesty. She was teaching in some school in the northwest of the Republic now, happily married, and he hadn’t heard from her in years. It was hard to stay in touch over long distances like that. “I think she’s living in a small town too now, but she met a good girl and married her.”

“Huh.” Maru seemed lost in thought, like it was a lot to take in. It probably was, so Harvey just leaned back and let her think.

“What was it like for her?” she asked finally. “Being gay in a big city, that is.”

“I think city people tend to be a bit more open minded.” Harvey replied. “They’re used to a big variety of people. But there are problems that are still the same no matter where you are. People always assume you’re straight. Men are pushy. Old people give you weird looks.” He shrugged. “Honestly, Maru, it’s always hard. Some places are easier than others, but it’s never really easy to be different. I don’t know how people in this town will react, but some will be fine and some won’t. I’ll always have your back, though.”

“Yeah.” Maru gave him a half-smile. “That’s really what I figured. And thank you. Not many people know… you, Penny, Sebastian.”

“Well, I certainly won’t be telling anyone. And, you know, if you ever need someone to awkwardly sit around in a bar while you chase down a girl, I’ve got some experience. Although I can’t think of any ladies who frequent our bar that you would be chasing.”

Maru laughed at that. “Yeah, I think I’m good on that front. I’ve been looking at online stuff, to be honest.”

He grinned. “I actually do have some experience with that, believe it or not. No success, but plenty of experience. Which sites are you using?”

“There’s multiple ones?” Maru looked surprised. “I’ve been on – what’s it called – Will of Yoba, I think?”

Harvey snorted. “That’s the worst one, Maru. Unless you’re looking for super spiritual people, I guess, but that doesn’t seem like your forte. There’s a ton of others… Sparks, Lucky Café, SinglesMingles, eStarmony…”

“Okay, okay!” Maru laughed. “Let me get some paper. And do all dating sites have such cheesy names?”

“Basically, yeah. Here, I’ll write a list down for you. I can do that much! Well, if you grab some paper for me.”

“I appreciate it.” She said, grinning as she dug through the drawer for a pad of paper and a pen. “Good thing you’ve got Penny, because I’m gonna steal all the girls now.”

Harvey blushed. “I wouldn’t say that I’ve got her, Maru, only that I wish I did.” He paused nervously. “Um, you won’t tell her, right? That I like her?”

“Harvey, you sound like a fifteen year old with a crush.” Maru replied, groaning. “No, I won’t say anything.”

“Thanks.” Harvey smiled again. “You’re a good friend, you know that, Maru?”

“Of course I do.” She stuck her tongue out at him, then softened, smiling back. “You are too, Harv. Also, I just had an idea. Why don’t you hobble your lame ass back upstairs and get some sleep? Nothing is going to happen today, and I can hold down the fort for you.”

“You would?” He asked, surprised. “I mean, it’s really boring down here with just one person.”

“I don’t mind.” She replied firmly. “In fact, as the second most qualified medical professional in town, I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist.”

Harvey laughed. “Well, if you insist, then I guess I better. Thanks, Maru. Holler if you need anything, you know where I’ll be. Ring the clinic doorbell if I don’t respond – that can wake me up from any kind of sleep.”

“Of course.” She looked around. “Where are your crutches?”

He looked embarrassed. “I’ve just been hopping…”

“HARVEY!” Maru exclaimed. “You’re a DOCTOR! I’m going to find you some crutches, and then you’re going to get your ass to bed, or I’ll kick it there myself.”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Yes, Doctor Maru. Whatever you say. You’re the boss.”

“Damn right I am.” She replied, shaking her head. “Someone has to be sensible around here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harvey/Maru is the ultimate brotp and I'll fight anyone who disagrees. 
> 
> I'm so thankful to have Maru as a character because she says the stuff everyone is thinking. Bless you, Maru, you're so wonderful. 
> 
> Also sorry for all the extra Harvey background but guys I have SO MANY headcanons about him you don't even know. I'm just trying to control myself and only dribble in appropriate amounts.


	18. One Click - Maru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry my updates have been a bit slower lately. I accidentally got sucked back into playing Stardew Valley?
> 
> I'm gonna marry Abigail this time, I think. She's so cute. They are all cute. I am in love with so many people. Help.
> 
> I'm also back in school while also working full time so you know that is cool and uses up all my time that should be spent on important things like fanfiction. :(

Maru had never ran the clinic alone before, but it wasn’t difficult. In fact, the hardest part was probably just how incredibly boring it was. Mayor Lewis walked by a few times, glancing in the window, and around noon he popped his head in to ask if Harvey was okay and if she was alright taking care of things by herself. Maru resented that no small amount; as if she couldn’t handle sitting at a desk by herself all day! She did almost all the administrative work in the clinic as it was, and helped Harvey with patients sometimes, too.

She told him rather frostily that Harvey was resting and she was doing just fine, thank you very much.

Controlling her temper wasn’t always her strongest ability.

Harvey had behaved himself until about two in the afternoon, when he had attempted to come downstairs again. She let him know very firmly that he should just turn right around, and he did. He and Penny would make a good pair – they were both far too kind and selfless for their own good. It would probably be sickeningly cute to watch them together – well, more so than it already was.

When five o’clock finally, finally came, she shouted a goodbye to Harvey and sped home, grateful the long day was done. How did Harvey ever survive without her?

Adding to her impatience was the list of dating sites he had written down for her. She hadn’t seen anyone yet who could compare to Haley, but if what she had been using was, like he said, the worst dating site – well, there was always hope.

Her mom was at the front desk as usual when she reached their house, and she smiled widely as Maru pushed open the door. “Hey, baby!” Robin exclaimed warmly. “How was work today? Lewis said you were at the front counter by yourself.”

“Yeah, Harvey wasn’t feeling well, so I took care of the clinic for the day.” Maru shrugged. “It was pretty boring.”

“My little girl, growing up so fast.” Robin shook her head, smiling.

“Mom…” Maru flushed. “I just sat at a desk all day. It’s no big deal. Please don’t make a fuss over it.”

“I’m just happy to see you doing well at work, that’s all, hon.” Robin reached over and rubbed her arm. “Dinner around six-thirty tonight? I ended up working a bit late and I’m just finishing up here.”

“Sounds good, Mom, thanks.”

She hurried down the hall, hoping that her father wasn’t around to call her into something. She loved working in the lab with him usually, but she was eager to get to her computer.

Pushing closed her bedroom door, she went to her closet and rummaged behind the laundry basket. She had taken to hiding her laptop ever since she had gone to go see Sebastian, just in case her dad noticed that he wasn’t getting reports on her activities and went looking for it.

Time to set up six more dating profiles. How long could that take?

She had three set up before Robin called her for dinner, and was feeling pretty buoyant. There had been more girls on all of them so far – she hadn’t looked thoroughly, but there had been one pretty blonde so far that had caught her eye.

Even the dinner table couldn’t dull her mood today, or her father’s incredibly boring announcements about what he had recently learned about beetles. She never knew how her mom could stand it, but Robin always seemed to enjoy hearing about Demetrius’s day. Love did weird things to people, she supposed.

Sebastian looked up to grab a second serving while Demetrius was discussing beetle antennae movements during mating, and she caught his eye. Feeling brave, she rolled her eyes to the ceiling and winked at him. He looked surprised, then gave her an amused smirk before dropping his eyes back down to his plate.

Things were getting better between them, but it was awkward. The walk up the hill after Sam and Abigail had gone home had been totally quiet. She hadn’t known what to say or do, and it didn’t seem like he did, either. So they had just walked in silence, parting at the top of the stairs with a shy smile and awkward “good night” from her, and a nod from him.

Still, he had invited her. He was trying. She was trying. It was better than it had ever been before.

She retreated to her room again after helping her dad wash up the dishes, bowing out from any further interactions by faking tiredness. Long day at work and all that.

Profile number four asked for a huge series of questions to be asked, so she put it on hold and started on the fifth site on the list, eStarmony.

That one wasn’t so bad, and she liked the name. It only required four pieces of information to make an account – a picture, username, location, and age. She used one of her favourite galaxy photos – maybe later she would put a real picture of herself up, but it was a bit nerve-wracking to do when she wasn’t even out to her family yet. She put her age as twenty-five as well, just in case. She could always explain to anyone she ended up messaging.

She took a cursory look thorough some of the suggested users in her area, and was about to switch to the next tab when a photo caught her eye.

It was Cindersap Lake. Someone from the valley? From the town, maybe? She clicked on it.

 

_SimpleSunshine_

_Pelican Town, Ferngill Republic_

_21, F_

_Looking for: M & F_

 

There was only one other person in town the same age as her.

And she was looking for girls, too.

Yoba.

Shit, shit, shit. What should she do? Haley was _right there_. One click away. Fucking _Haley_. The girl of her dreams. Haley liked girls. She could just send a message and confess her feelings and that was a ridiculous idea, she hadn’t talked to Haley in years.

_Hey, I know we haven’t talked since I had a hissy fit at you in high school, but I’m gay too and I love you, I’ve always loved you._

Yeah, right.

Maru checked the clock. It was only eight – Penny would still probably be up, and Pam wouldn’t be home. She picked up her cellphone and dialed.

“Hello?” Penny’s voice answered on the second ring.

“Hey, Pen.” Maru paused, at a bit of a loss for words.

“Are you okay?” Penny asked, when she didn’t say anything else.

“Yeah… yeah. I’m okay. I’m just… fuck. Penny, Haley is gay too.”

“Haley?” Penny asked, confused. “I mean… that’s good, isn’t it?”

“Er. Yeah.” Maru had never told Penny about her feelings for Haley; not that she couldn’t trust Penny, but she still writhed with guilt over how she had treated Haley when their friendship had ended. “It’s just… augh. I don’t know how to say this, Pen. I really like her.”

“Oh.” Penny paused, then said, gently, “This sounds like a good thing to me, Maru. You like her, she’s also interested in girls. I know you haven’t talked in a while, but it’s not too late to start.”

Wasn’t it?

“You’re one of the bravest people I know, Maru,” Penny continued. “And I know you can do this. Just start by saying hello.”

“Yeah.” Maru chewed at her lip. “I guess that’s what I gotta do.”

Just say hello. She could do that.

Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3 <3
> 
> maru you sweet baby i love you so much


	19. A Helping Hand - Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy! So this took forever and a half to write. I took that bit about super frequent updates out of the description because that's not really the truth anymore, I'm afraid.
> 
> These last couple weeks... well, I got a new job, and started school again. Things have been pretty busy lately! So updates are going to be a little less frequent than they have been in the past - at least until mid August or so. This story is my top priority, so if you follow either of my other two, those are going to probably be updated even slower. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the love and for your patience. Please enjoy this ooey gooey fluffy chapter!
> 
> Just a quick reminder that this [ super cute drawing ](https://pixelatedfarmhouse.tumblr.com/post/162530902822/littleredwritingthings-writes-an-adorable) of Penny in the sweater exists.

In the week following the moonlight jellies migration, Penny stayed away from the clinic.

It wasn't so much that she didn't want to see Harvey as... well, she didn't know what she wanted. 

She didn't want to return the sweater. She should have returned it the day after he lent it to her, but it was still in the trailer, tucked in her bed under the blankets where Pam wouldn't find it.

He had just been being kind as always, handing it over like he would to anyone who was cold - but she could pretend. She could wrap it around her and pretend she knew what it was like to be in his arms. 

She knew better than to hope, but it didn't cost anything to dream. And as long as she didn’t talk to Harvey, he couldn’t ask for his sweater back and she could keep pretending.

Still, you can't avoid anyone for long in a town of thirty people, and at the end of the week her luck ran out.

Penny walked into Pierre’s grocer on Friday morning and there was the tall, lean doctor, leaning on crutches and putting apples into a bag. 

She saw him first and froze, heart pounding. She had no chance to react, though, as Pierre called a genial greeting and Harvey's curly head spun to face her. 

"Hi, Penny!" He exclaimed, beaming, as if the last time they had talked hasn't been a week prior, standing together in the middle of the night while she wore his sweater. 

"Hi, Harvey." She replied shyly. "Um. What happened to your leg?"

"Oh, I just tripped." He tried to make a dismissive gesture and knocked over a crutch. "Ah... crap."

She hurried forward and picked it up for him. "Do you need a hand?"

He looked embarrassed. "Would you mind? I'm kind of useless on these. Really, I'm enough of a klutz when I'm not relying on crutches."

"Of course not." She took the bag from his hands. This she could handle; helping came naturally to her. "Did you need any more apples?"

"A few more." He gave her a grateful smile.

They worked their way through the little grocer, Penny filling Harvey's bags with produce and carrying them to the counter for him. 

Pierre gave them an amused smile over his spectacles, but said nothing as he weighed Harvey's purchases and handed them back to Penny. 

"Here, I can take those." Harvey said as they reached the clinic door. "Thank you so much, again."

Penny cocked her head at them. "Aren't you taking this upstairs? Please let me help - I don't want you to fall again."

He flushed. "I - ah - its just very messy up there."

She was reminded of Vincent when he wanted to hide something, his poorly disguised nervousness. It gave her a little burst of confidence - this she knew how to deal with.

She pulled the door open, smiling at him. "I've seen messes before. Come on, let's get your food upstairs."

He shrugged and gave a rueful smile. "I suppose I don't have much choice, do I?"

"Not really." She said impudently, and he chuckled.

He limped up the stairs and she followed behind, a little surprised at her own boldness. 

The apartment was a far cry from the ordered shape it had been in on her last visit. Laundry was thrown over the couch and was spilling out of closet, and pieces of model planes were scattered across both the dining and coffee tables. Most changed was the kitchen, where dishes were piled up in the sink and cardboard boxes were stacked up beside an overflowing garbage can.

Still, it wasn't empty beer cans and vomit in the carpet, and she felt more sorry for him than anything else. The poor man did work very hard, and it couldn't be easy to get around with his foot in a splint.

She marched into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge before he could say anything, and her mouth _did_ drop at the state of that - it was roughly as empty as her own sad little refrigerator at home. 

"Harvey," she exclaimed, "Why don't you have food in here?"

She flushed then, realizing the boldness of the question. "I mean - um - sorry."

"No, it's okay." Harvey's face was red. "I’ve just been snacking… I don't cook well and, well, I'm not supposed to be on this foot much..."

He was standing at the edge of the kitchen, embarrassment written all over his features, and it sent a pang through Penny’s heart.

Penny chewed on her lip. Should she? Dare she? 

She hated the thought of him going hungry, all by himself in the messy apartment. 

"Doyouwantmetomakeyoudinner?"

Harvey blinked. "Sorry?"

"I..." She looked down. "I could cook you something?" 

Now she was blushing too, previous confidence fleeing as quickly as it had come.

"That would be so amazing." Harvey paused. "I wouldn't want to impose on you, though..."

“No I… I love to cook. Really. Besides, I owe you one… you took care of me when I cut my legs…”

“That was nothing, though.” He made a dismissive gesture and almost lost a crutch again, scrambling to catch it. That made Penny’s mind up for her; Harvey needed someone to help take care of him.

She put her hands on her hips. “I’ll put something together. Why don’t you sit? You shouldn’t stay on the foot too long, right?”

Harvey looked surprised, then nodded slowly. “Will you stay and have dinner with me?”

Her stomach flipped. There was something about his tone – no, she was imagining it. Of course he would invite her for dinner if she were cooking. Nothing to get excited about. “Sure.” She managed to say.

He smiled. “Alright, then. I’m very sorry about the mess, too.”

“I’ve seen much worse.” She had meant it to be comforting, but the look he gave her made her feel nervous. She really did need to try to be careful about what she said around Harvey – he was far too bright.

What would he say if he knew the mess she had come home to last week? Pam had let her feelings about Penny staying out late be known in the form of empty beer cans scattered in her room and a break in one of the boards of her bedframe that looked suspiciously as if someone had kicked in it. Some duct tape had done wonders, as always, but the frame creaked ominously when Penny sat on her bed, and all her scrubbing efforts hadn’t done much to get the smell of beer out of her mattress.

She put the groceries Harvey had purchased in the fridge – mainly fruit and a few eggs, nothing that constituted a real meal. Penny had suspicions regarding what the doctor was actually eating – the pile of empty Joja brand frozen pizza boxes held certain implications.

The fridge itself was otherwise empty, aside from condiments and a tupperware container that she wasn’t willing to investigate. The cupboards were similarly stocked – expired pre-made cake mix, a bag of chocolate chips, a few granola bars and six cans of creamed corn. And one unopened bag of spaghetti noodles, which she pulled out and placed on the counter. Her cooking could be questionable sometimes, she knew – particularly when she was experimenting – but she knew her way around a pot of spaghetti no problem.

Harvey was sitting on the couch with his foot on the coffee table, watching her nervously.

“I’m just going to run next door and pick up a few more things.” she told him. Her tone was more confident than she actually felt – she was going to cook dinner in _Harvey’s_ kitchen, after all – but she felt much more comfortable than usual. It felt good to have a task, to do something where she was needed.

“Oh. Okay.” Harvey, on the other hand, seemed much more nervous than usual. “Um. Here, take this.” He dug around in the jacket he had tossed beside him and pulled out a worn brown leather wallet. “I am a poor host, but I can at least pay for dinner.”

She took it gratefully. She had been prepared to pay, but spending more than her usual food budget would have meant going hungry later in the week.

Pierre greeted her again when she re-entered the grocer. “How’s our doctor doing, Penny?” he asked, as she returned to his counter with her groceries.

“I think he’s doing fine.” She replied. Pierre seemed to want something more, but settled for giving her a knowing look and weighing her purchases. He at least was tactful enough to not mention that the food she was buying was out of the norm; she mainly lived off of rice and eggs and whatever vegetables were the cheapest. Tomatoes, peppers, an onion, _garlic_ – that wasn’t the kind of food she could usually afford.

His eyebrows did peak when she pulled out Harvey’s wallet, and she cursed herself for not having thought of taking the money out of it ahead of time. Pierre was a notorious gossip.

At least she knew her mother never went into his shop – she preferred the food over at Joja.

It felt a little strange to let herself up into the clinic, but she pushed ahead, carefully shutting the doors behind her. She did hesitate at the top of the stairs, and knocked firmly. She didn’t want to make Harvey get up, but she certainly didn’t want to surprise him, either.

“Come on in!” he called, and she pushed the door open. He was still on the couch, reading. He looked up at her. “Do you need a hand with anything?”

“Oh, no.” she replied. “I’m just fine, thank you.”

It felt a little surreal to be unpacking groceries in his kitchen. She had only been in his apartment once before, and now she was digging through his cupboards for spices and pots. She glanced over him occasionally, and he seemed happily absorbed in his book – except for one time, when she caught him watching her and they both instantly turned away, her cheeks reddening.

It was small kitchen, but still bigger than the gallery kitchen in the trailer, and she felt oddly at home in it. There were little signs throughout that Harvey was perhaps not the greatest housekeeper; the stovetop was in desperate need of a scrubbing, and her fingers itched to wash down the cupboard doors.

One the water was started and the sauce was happily simmering, she made up her mind. Harvey was deeply into the book he was reading, and she couldn’t stand existing in a world where he had so many dishes stacked up in the sink.

She filled the sink with water and, quietly humming to herself, she set to work.

“Uh, Penny?”

She squeaked and jumped back, splashing water. For someone who was often so awkward, Harvey had managed to make his way to the kitchen on crutches very quietly.

“You – you really don’t need to do all this.” He looked embarrassed, nodding towards the soapy bowl in her hand.

“I like it.” She smiled. “Besides, then you can stay off your feet.”

“You do?” He looked at her quizzically. “You like doing dishes?”

“Well… yeah.” She chewed her lip. “Is that strange? I just feel like… I don’t know, cleaning is a little way to make the world a better place. Everyone is happier when things are clean.”

He didn’t reply, and she flushed, looking down. “I guess it is pretty weird.”

“No, no.” Harvey replied slowly. “No, it’s lovely. That’s a lovely way of looking at things.”

She blushed even hotter. _Please don’t say things like that._ It was like he knew how to look, what to say, in order to impact her the hardest. Lovely? That wasn’t a word _ever_ used to describe her or the things she said.

She stared at the sink, at the milky white bubbles slowly popping on the surface of the water. How do you reply to something like that? Was he just teasing her, maybe? It was such a strange foreign world, this. She could handle talking to children, or banter with Maru, or even discussing books. Talking to another adult like this though – with that intensity in his eyes – she was lost.

Harvey shuffled uncomfortably. “Um. Do you need a hand with anything?”

“No.” It came out as a whisper. She tried again. “Uh. No. I’m good, thank you. It’s almost done here. I’ll just finish up.” She kept her eyes on the sink.

He didn’t move, and the air felt thick enough to cut. Pop, pop, went the bubbles in the sink.

“Penny?”

She dragged her eyes up, and regretted it immediately. He was leaning over her, and Yoba, he was so close, with that tender look in his eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked gently.

“Yeah.” She breathed, looking up at him. He was so close. He was so close. He was leaning down and her heart was pounding, she could see the flecks of gold in his eyes, _he was so close-_

Smack!

One of his crutches slipped and his hand slammed against the wall as he caught himself, making Penny jump backwards with another squeak.

“Are you okay?” they asked each other in unison, then stood staring at each other.

Harvey grinned apologetically, breaking the silence first. “I’m sorry. I’m really not too good on these things.”

The moment was over, and Penny wasn’t quite sure if she was disappointed or relieved. Had he been about to…? No, of course not. She really had to learn to keep her imagination from running so wild.

“It’s just fine.” She replied, smiling back. “You’re alright?”

“I’m all good. Not much room for me to fall here.” He motioned ruefully at the small room.

She laughed, tension fading. “Maybe you should sit down again? I’ll just be a few more minutes.”

“I think you’re right.” He shook his head. “I’m none too helpful right now. If you hand me some cutlery, I can at least take that to the table with me.”

Penny pulled open his cutlery drawer, glanced at the lack of contents, and pulled two sets of forks and knives from the dish rack. She started to hand them over, and then pursed her lips and put the knives back. “You can take the forks, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to carry knives with, um, with the crutches.”

Harvey laughed, a warm, rich laugh that sent thrills down her spine. “You’re entirely too sensible. Forks it is.”

He hobbled over and she rinsed off her hands and opened the noodle package, watching him. It was funny; she had so much resentment towards her mother for never taking care of herself. She hated having to scrub the trailer every day. Taking care of someone else, though – it felt good. It felt really good.

She poured the noodles in the boiling water and stirred them around, humming again.

Ten minutes later, the kitchen was, if not spotless, in a greatly improved condition, and Penny walked over to the table with two plates of spaghetti. She set the larger one in front of Harvey, who looked delighted.

He politely waited while she sat across from him. “I feel so spoiled. I can’t thank you enough.”

She smiled shyly at him. “I hope it’s good.”

They ate in silence at first – or rather, Harvey ate and Penny pretended to, mostly pushing food around on her plate and trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach and lump in her throat. Eating in front of other people was _hard_. Eating in front of Harvey, all alone, in his apartment – it felt like she was forcing each bite through stone.

Harvey didn’t seem to notice, though, eagerly putting away his plate as if he hadn’t eaten for days. When she glanced at him, he had his eyes focused on his quickly diminishing plate. There was sauce in his moustache, and she couldn’t help but giggle.

He looked up, then blushed and reached for a napkin, noticing where her eyes were. “It’s the moustache, isn’t it? It’s a real pain sometimes.”

She nodded, biting her lip to keep the smile down. “It’s okay, I’m used to it. Vincent usually wears about half of his lunch.”

“That's not exactly comforting,” Harvey grumbled. “I like to think that I have better manners than that wild child.” He sighed then laughed, meeting her eyes again. “It’s alright. Nothing new for me – I’m in the habit of embarrassing myself in front of pretty girls.”

Penny froze.

She couldn’t – she couldn’t have heard that right.

No one had ever called her pretty before. Well, except Vincent, but that didn’t count. Oh, Yoba, she needed Maru. What should she say? What was she supposed to do? What did he mean?

She settled for an awkward laugh that sounded, at least to her ears, entirely fake, and looked down at her food. She stuffed a big bite in her mouth, despite her lack of hunger – at least she didn’t have to talk if her mouth was full.

Her attempt at laughter seemed to work, at least, because Harvey didn’t seem to notice that anything was wrong. “This is amazing, by the way.” He said, fork in the air. “I can’t remember the last time I ate anything so nice.”

Way too many compliments. Way too many. But this one, at least, she had some faint idea of how to respond to.

“I’ve been practicing a lot when I can. I’m not too good at inventing my own recipes… I think Elizabeth thought I poisoned her once… but I can do the classics.” She shrugged. “Evelyn sends me recipes sometimes.”

“Me too.” Harvey shook his head. “I don’t have the heart to tell her that I can’t cook anything that doesn’t come out of a box. What’s this about Elizabeth, though? That sounds like a good story.”

“Oh, it’s kind of embarrassing… I was trying to make chili. We had a ton of beans and it was tomato season and I thought, I should try something new. Elizabeth popped in when I was almost done and I offered her some… it was terrible. I hadn’t tried it yet. She looked like she was going to throw up.” Penny laughed. “She didn’t say a thing, though. Elizabeth is always so graceful.”

Harvey nodded. “She really is. She’s changed a lot about this town since she’s come… made a big impact on a lot of people.”

_You have no right to feel jealous_. Penny reminded herself sharply. Harvey had every right to admire Elizabeth, perfect Elizabeth with her farm and her vegetables and her tall, graceful body.

“Like Shane,” Harvey continued, oblivious to Penny’s internal struggle. “She’s made such a big difference in his life, and little Jas. I’m very happy to see them doing so well.”

“Yeah.” Penny’s mouth felt dry. At least Elizabeth was married, and off the market, so to speak. Yoba, what was she thinking?

Elizabeth wasn’t competition, because Penny wasn’t even in the running. She knew better than that, even if Harvey had said _pretty girls_.

“Are you full?” Harvey asked solicitously, and Penny realized she had put down her fork. His plate was polished, and she shuddered at the idea of eating while he just sat and watched her.

“Yeah.” She gave him a little smile. “I ate a big lunch. I shouldn’t have taken so much.”

She hadn’t, of course, but Harvey didn’t need to know that. She knew it wasn’t normal to eat as little as she did, even if she was small, and it was just another thing she didn’t want anyone to ask questions about.

“Let me pack some up for you to take home, then.” Harvey said, standing up. “You should have some of the fruits of your labours, after all. I can’t believe you were so generous as to make all this!”

“It really was nothing.” Penny looked away. “It’s probably getting late, though. I should get home.”

Harvey packed up her leftovers while she twisted her hands together, and then handed her the warm tupperware container. “I’ll walk you down to the front door.” He told her, pulling open the apartment door while she slipped her shoes on. “I’ve still got to lock up for the night.”

She nodded dumbly and they walked down together, him leading the way on his crutches.

“Well,” he said awkwardly at the front door, “Thank you for dinner. It was really nice.”

She smiled shyly. “Yeah. Me too. I mean, I found it nice too.”

He hesitated. “Maybe we could do it again some time.”

Her heart pounded. “Yeah.” It came out quieter than she intended. “Um. I better go. Good night, Harvey.”

“Good night, Penny.”

She fled.

The trailer was the same as always when she pushed the door open. Pam was at the bar; the wind whistled past the small windows; it smelled musty and faintly of stale beer.

It was hard not to compare it to the bright, cheerful apartment she had just come from, and she averted her eyes from the dingy kitchen on the way to her bedroom. It was only seven, but she changed into her pajamas anyways, crawling into bed. Harvey’s sweater was under the blankets where she had left it, and she pulled it over her head, wrapping her arms around herself.

It smelled like him. Like his apartment.

Even with the awkwardness, it had been an evening out of a dream. Cooking in a bright little kitchen. Serving food to an appreciative audience, eating at the table together.

He had called her pretty. It didn’t mean anything, it _couldn’t_ mean anything, but he had still said it.

She buried her face in the sweater, tears pricking at her eyes. She had been wrong – it did cost something to dream. Dreary everyday life – living in the dumpy trailer with her angry mother, expecting nothing from each day but the same old slog of the day before – that had been manageable. The loneliness had been manageable. Because she had never allowed herself to hope for anything more.

And now she couldn’t help it, couldn’t keep the thoughts from invading her head. A warm, bright home. Company with someone who spoke to her to say more than “Where’s my money, bitch?” or “Why the fuck is it so dirty in here?”

She had felt appreciated. He made her feel like she was worth something.

The tears began to escape and she hugged herself closer, shaking.

She wanted so desperately to feel that way again and she didn’t dare, didn’t dare to hope that she could.

Dreaming did hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **EDIT: AND THIS GUYS LOOK AT THIS but also be ready to feel all the feelings:** [ Penny with the sweater](http://imgur.com/a/lPBJ7). THANK YOU [ WatteauYouDoing](http://archiveofourown.org/users/WatteauYouDoing) so much for this. <3 <3 
> 
> A note on gender roles. Penny and Harvey fall into some common gender stereotypes, which I actually find a bit difficult to write. I get a lot of flack from my old fashioned, pioneer-stock relatives for the fact that I passionately hate cooking and basically all housework. Harvey's housekeeping in this story is very much based off of my own. I try to be really thoughtful with what kind of ideas I'm reinforcing through writing, and this one... eh. The world doesn't really need any more examples of girls finding validation through taking care of others, or of men who can't take care of themselves. 
> 
> On the other hand, that is who these characters are, and there's nothing wrong with that - girls have just as much right to love cooking as hate it, and at the end of the day, the important thing is having choice.


	20. Between Pages 117 and 118 - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you know what my favourite thing in the world is?  
> [ AMAZING FANART](http://imgur.com/a/lPBJ7). Thank you to [ WatteauYouDoing](http://archiveofourown.org/users/WatteauYouDoing) for this lovely piece. Also go read their fics, they're really good.

_I can feel it when she walks in the room. Without seeing her, without hearing her, I can feel her presence just from the way the air in the room changes when she graces it by entering._

_I used to think that light meant brightness. That gold meant flash. When I thought of light, I thought of the sun, big, bold, demanding attention and worship from all._

_Now I know better. I know that light can be a soft gold, seeping in, filling the dark cracks with hope. She is surrounded by light, in her modest, unassuming way. She’s like the dawn; gentle, quiet, and far more beautiful than the midday sun could ever be._

_I turn around and there she is, shy smile pulling at her lips, slight frame leaning against the doorway. I could almost resent her, sometimes, the way I am so commanded by such a small, gentle creature, the way she has unknowingly wrapped my world around one of her slender fingers._

Between pages 117 and 118, Harvey realized that he had fucked up.

The last time he had read his favourite book, it had reminded him of Elizabeth. A girl moves to a new town, and changes the lives of the people living there, captures the heart of a shy, lonely man. Sure, Elizabeth was more like the “midday sun” – she was bright and vivacious, happy to lend her loud voice to any occasion. But watching her and Shane come together had been much like watching his favourite story come to life.

Now he realized that he had been wrong. It hadn’t been his favourite story, not at all. The gentle dawn – it was, of course, Penny. Penny, the soft gold seeping into his life. Penny, the kind of girl who cooks you dinner when she’s clearly nervous to even be in your home, the kind of girl who hums while doing dishes.  The story he had given her – it was about her. About them. About a sweet, shy girl, who takes over the world of a lonely man, and wraps his entire world around one of her slender fingers.

Would she realize?

The more he thought about it, the more obvious it was. The heroine was a  _schoolteacher_ , for goodness sake. The pastor who fell in love with her was several years older, dull, lonely. That had always been part of the story’s appeal to him, if he were to be honest with himself – the idea that it was possible for a boring, plain man to find love.

He glanced over at his book shelf. She still had the seventh and eighth books of the  _Blue Knight_  series at her house – maybe he could distract her with some other fantasy books when she returned those, and she wouldn’t read the romance book for a while yet.

For a while yet, at least. She would at some point, and all his thoughts, his feelings would be plain as day, written in prose about the agony of being a shadow of a man, in love with a woman who was the human personification of the dawn.

Yoba, she would probably think he was creepy. If she didn’t already. Her face when he had called her pretty, the other day – she had gone white, and then red. Not exactly a reassuring reaction.

Well, the damage was done, and for now, all he could do was prolong the length of time he had until she read the book.

Maybe he could give her a book as a thank-you for the dinner? No, that would be a bit overkill. Still, he should bring her something, and he could loan her another book when he brought it over. Something fantasy. And then he could suggest she read it right after the  _Blue Knight_  series, because it would go well with those books. At the speed she read, that would only give him about a week – but at least it would be something, and he could think up a new plan in the meantime.

But what to bring her as a thank you gift? Usually he would give a bottle of wine, or something like that, but that would be wildly inappropriate for Penny. What would she want?

He paused, an idea coming to him, and reached for his phone. It was only six – probably not too late to call and make a request.

\---

Only a few things in life are certain: death, taxes, and work days will always drag along ten times slower than you want them to. Harvey sighed.

“What’s up, doc?” Maru asked, looking up from her book.

“Just bored.” He shrugged.

“Well, Sam should be here soon.” She said reassuringly, then paused. “Well, more like soon plus fifteen minutes. I don’t know how someone can manage to always be late when he only has one appointment per year.”

“Pelican Town time.” Harvey replied. “Why would it matter if he’s late when he’s the only appointment all day?”

Maru cocked her head at him. “You’re in a bad mood today. What, have you not talked to Penny in a few days or something?”

He gave her a mock glare then sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. No, it’s not that, I just – ah, I’m just going to go do something after work, and I’m nervous.”

“Do what after work?” Maru asked, an eyebrow raised. “Does it involve a certain person who’s name starts with P?”

“Um-“ Harvey started, and then cut himself off as the door swung violently open, a red-faced Sam noisily entering.

“Sorry I’m so late!” the blond young man exclaimed, panting. “I completely forgot and then I ran from Seb’s.”

Maru looked at her calendar, frowning. “Um, Sam, you’re half an hour early. Your appointment is at 2.”

“It is?” Sam looked surprised. “Oh. Well, I’ll come back at 2, then-“

“No, no.” Harvey interjected, standing up. “Now is just fine, Sam. You’re already here, anyways.” He wasn’t terribly keen to continue the conversation with Maru.

He walked around the counter and led Sam to the back room, where Maru had already placed his clipboard and Sam’s file. 

Sam was disgustingly healthy, of course – just what one would expect of a young man who spent all his time running around outdoors. Not like his shy, reserved best friend, who was definitely going to need glasses soon, and probably should have started seeing a counselor or mental health doctor years ago. Sebastian had ignored Harvey’s advice about the counselor, and would probably ignore his advice about the glasses too.

Sam was pliable, at least. He was happy to hop up on the bed and let Harvey tap his knees, look in his ears, and shine a light in his eyes. He was one of the easiest patients Harvey got to deal with. Usually.

“Hey, Doctor Harvey?” Sam said as Harvey placed the stethoscope over his chest, making the doctor jump back at the loud rumble amplified through the device.

Harvey pulled the stethoscope from his ears. “Yes, Sam?”

“What’s going on with you and Penny?”

“Er.” Harvey replied, caught by surprise. “Where did you hear something was going on? We’re just friends.”  _God damn small town gossip._

Sam shrugged. “Abby told me her dad saw you guys shopping together. And then she came back and bought more stuff with your wallet.” He looked embarrassed. “I know it’s nosy, but… well, you know. She’s a real good girl, and I try to keep an eye out for her, you know? She’s had a rough run of it.”

 “There’s nothing to worry about, I promise. She’s a wonderful girl, she was helping me because of my crutches.” Harvey paused, giving Sam a long look. “What’s this rough run you mentioned, though? If I can do anything to help out, I want to.”

“I mean…” Sam swung his legs under him, thumping his heels gently against the examination bed and leaving little scuff marks. “You know the town. And Pam. People haven’t always been nice to Penny… she used to get bullied real bad in school, you know. She kinda gets it from all ends. So… so anyways, if you’re gonna hang out with Penny, you be good to her, or I’m gonna find out about it, and, uh, it’ll be bad.”

It took Harvey a moment to realise that Sam – sweet baby-faced Sam, with his scuffed sneakers and scruffy blonde half-stubble – was threatening him.  He could almost laugh, except for the stern expression that Sam was attempting. Not because Sam couldn’t overpower him – Sam could, easily – but at the ridiculousness of it all. Him? Hurt Penny?

 “I’m not going to hurt Penny, I promise,” he said. “I know she’s got it hard. She’s a wonderful person and a good friend, and I would never dream of trying to upset her.”

“Cool.” Sam nodded, then grinned. “Awesome. I don’t even know how to punch someone.” He laughed. “I could probably ask Sebastian to look it up, I guess, but he would make fun of me. That would be embarrassing. Anyways, sorry for interrupting you with the heart thingy.”

“No problem.” Harvey replied, beginning to put the stethoscope back.

“Er, wait.”

He pulled the earpieces back down. “Yes?”

“Um…” Sam looked really embarrassed now. “Hey, can you get STDs from like, butt sex?”

Harvey was a medical professional, so he kept his face straight. “Yes, Sam, you can. You can get sexually transmitted infections from any kind of sexual contact, be it oral, vaginal, or anal.”

“Oh.” Sam mulled that over. “That sucks. Wait, does that mean you can’t ever have sex without getting an STD?”

 _Yoba, what do they teach in the schools here?_  Harvey resisted the urge to groan. “No, Sam. You and your partner can get tested to make sure you’re clean, and if you both are, then you can have intercourse without risk, although it is still possible to get pregnant. In addition, you can – and should – use condoms, which provide protection if used properly.”

Sam looked confused. “Wait, can men get pregnant too?”

Okay, now he was really worried about the school curriculum. “No, definitely not. Men can’t get pregnant. Well, except transgender men, in some cases, but let’s not get into that today. If you have sex with a cisgender man, nobody will get pregnant. You should still use condoms, though.”

“Cool. Not that I’m gonna have sex with a man, or anything.” Sam gave him a nervous look. “Just, you know, good to know.”

“Of course.” Harvey replied reassuringly. “Ready to go on, or do you have any other questions?”

“Just one more,” Sam said, looking even more nervous than before, which made Harvey feel nervous in turn. “Seb says that if you swallow gum it stays in your stomach for seven years. Is that true? Because I’ve swallowed a lot of gum over the years and I’m worried that it’s gonna make it so there is less room in my stomach. Seb says I can get it all removed in a surgery so that I can eat more, but it’s really expensive, and I don’t know if I should just wait seven years instead.”

“No, Sam.” Harvey replied, biting his cheek. “No, it gets moved through your digestive system, don’t worry, just like food does.” He paused, noticing Sam’s blank look. “That means you poop it out, Sam. That being said, you should make sure to make an effort not to swallow gum, okay? It’s not for eating.”

Sam sighed. “So I don’t need surgery? That’s a big relief.”

\---

Like usual, five o’clock did eventually come, and not long after Harvey stood in front of the trailer door, heart pounding.

The door swung open moments after he knocked, and he was incredibly relieved to see Penny’s thin face staring nervously at him, instead of her mother’s round, red one. The saloon was open, and Pam’s routine never changed – but still.

“Harvey?” she said, confused, and the sound of her voice made his stomach flip.

“Um. Hi.” He smiled up at her nervously. “I, ah, wanted to bring you something. As a thank you for dinner.”

“Oh.” She looked at the basket under his arm, and then behind her into the trailer, and her shoulders slumped a bit. “Would you like to come in?”

Harvey gulped. That wasn’t exactly the reaction he had been hoping for. But he had come this far, after all. “I would love to.”

She gave him a wan little smile, stepping away from the door. “It’s not really much. I’m sorry about the mess.”

He stepped in, ducking his head down in the low doorway. “You know I can’t judge mess, Penny. You’ve seen my apartment.”

She gave him a bit more of a real smile at that. “Come on, let me put that on the table. Would you like something to- would you like some water?”

He handed her the basket and followed her to the little table set against the wall. “I would love that.”

The trailer looked about the same on the inside as the outside suggested; a bit dingy, with outdated appliances and a colour scheme that had been popular three decades ago. There was a couch beside the table with some blankets thrown messily across it. A small galley type kitchen lined one wall, and two doors were across from him, one closed and one open, showing a neatly made bed beyond it.

Penny filled a glass up at the tap and handed it to him. “Sorry, our water doesn’t really get that cold,” she mumbled, sitting stiffly in the chair across from him and avoiding his eyes.

“That’s no problem. I can’t really drink cold water, anyways. Sensitive teeth. Just another reason why I wouldn’t do well in the airforce, I guess. I imagine it’s hard to keep extra fluoride toothpaste with you in the field.” He realised he was rambling, so he took a sip of the lukewarm water.

Penny stared at the table, and a silence grew between them, while he chewed on his lip and wished he knew what to do.

“I’m sorry you have to see this.” She finally blurted, eyes still on the table. “It’s… I’m not proud of living like this.”

The visible misery on her face hurt him. Heart pounding, he reached across the table and took her hand.

She looked up at that, eyes wide, but didn’t pull back, and for a moment they just sat there, his large hand covering her small one against the table.

“I’ve said this before,” he said, finally, “And Penny, nothing has changed. You are more than the place that you live. I wouldn’t – I wouldn’t care if you lived in a tent like Linus. That doesn’t change who you are.”

She gave him a small, sad smile. “You’re a better friend than I deserve.”

Harvey shook his head. “Only a monster would think that your living conditions defined you, Penny, and you deserve far more than monsters for friends.” He gave her hand a little squeeze, then reached into his basket and pulled out the book he had brought. “Here, I’ve brought you one of my favourite places. For when you finish the  _Blue Knight_  series… here’s another adventure.”

She took it from him. “What would we ever do without books? I’m so glad you understand that, too. I still haven’t finished your last  _Blue Knight_  book, and then there’s that other one,  _The Lady_.”

“Oh, you should read this first, after the  _Blue Knight_  series,” he said, as casually as he could manage. “It’s a really similar world, they go well together.”

“I’ll do that, then.” She replied, and relief washed over him.

“Here.” He said, pulling the other item out of the basket, a little brown box. “Open this.”

She did as he asked, then gasped. “Harvey! You shouldn’t have!”

He shrugged, embarrassed. “They’re just cookies. Evelyn even made them for me.”

“Still. That’s… that’s really generous of you. I haven’t had a cookie in a really long time.” She sighed happily, then reached in and picked one up, handing it to him. “Here, have one.”

He took it and leaned back against the rickety chair, watching as she took her own cookie.

She was the early dawn, with the dark circles under her eyes and her slightly hollow cheeks that always made him worry. Gentle, quiet, and more beautiful than any girl he had ever seen before.

She was the gold seeping into the dark corners of his life, filling them with hope. And watching Penny’s pale, thin lips curve into a smile, Harvey’s heart pounded and he  _hoped_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for writing Sam as a dummy, but he's SO CUTE. 
> 
> Can you believe I've written 20 chapters already for this fic? I can't. Also, it's already been 20 chapters and these goobers STILL haven't figured out their feelings.


	21. Fair - Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because I love all of you, here's an early update! (Also because I've had time to sit on the couch and do nothing but write for a few days). 
> 
> Honestly, you guys are the best readers. I am always just blown away by all the kind comments - thank you so much to each and every one of you that leaves comments. It means SO much to me.
> 
> Anyways, have at 'er. There's a piece in here I am not 100% confident about because I did that thing where I try to write about issues outside of my own personal experience again. Here's hoping I didn't screw up too bad. Oh boy.

Penny eased open the trailer door and slipped out, closing it silently behind her, and sat on the steps to put her shoes on. It was 7am, the birds were chirping, and the chickens were… squawking? By her house?

“Hi, Miss Penny!” exclaimed a little voice, making her almost fall over in surprise.

She looked to the side, and there were Jas, Shane, Marnie and Elizabeth, setting up makeshift pens near her yard. Jas dropped the box she had been holding and raced over, dark hair streaming behind her.

“Miss Penny! Are you excited for the fair today?” she asked, jumping up and down in front of her astonished little teacher.

Of course – the fair. Penny had almost completely forgotten about it this year – it always seemed to sneak up on her so fast. She hated the crowds of people that came in to despoil her pretty, quiet town, but it was usually a fun day nonetheless.

“Of course I’m excited!” She replied, standing up. “This is a very exciting day. Are you helping set up the petting zoo?”

“I was.” Jas looked sheepish, glancing over at the dropped box. “I s’pose I better go back and help. We have bunnies this year! Auntie Elizabeth has been raising them.”

“You should go back if you said you would help.” Penny agreed. “I’ll see you later, after you’re all set up! I’ll definitely come to see those bunnies.”

“Okay! See you later, Miss Penny!” Jas chirped, and ran back to her family. Penny waved at Shane, who was watching them, and then picked up her book and head down to the bridge that lead to the library. It wouldn’t be open, of course, but there would at least be some peace and quiet over there while the town bustled around getting ready.

She was almost done the last of Harvey’s _Blue Knight_ books, a bittersweet feeling. She was eager to read the finale, but it always felt sad to finish a series. It had been so generous of Harvey to bring over another book already.

Humiliating to have him see the inside of the trailer, though. She had at least gotten some cleaning done before he arrived, and hopefully the stale beer smell from Pam’s cans the previous night had dissipated a bit.

His kindness confused her, which served to make her feel even more unworthy of it. It just didn’t fit in to her world. It didn’t feel like pity anymore, which was confusing, because even Maru’s friendship was tinged with that. Even his reassurance about not caring about the trailer – it had seemed genuine.

It was just all so weird. Why was he so interested in being friends with her? She had nothing to offer. It didn’t feel like pity, but if it wasn’t pity – what on earth was it?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the library door, and Penny looked up to see Gunther walking out. She gave him a cheerful wave; Gunther was nice, if a bit strange. She didn’t think she had ever seen him without that blue hat, for one, which was odd considering that he worked indoors.

“Penny.” He nodded at her. “Going to the fair?”

“For sure.” She replied cheerfully. “I was just waiting for things to get started. What time is it?”

He pulled a pocket watch on a chain out of his jacket and peered at it. “About half past nine. I am going now.”

Penny closed her book and stood up, tucking it back into her bag. “I’ll come along with you, then.”

Gunther nodded in reply and they walked to the town square together in an easy silence. Gunther was never terribly talkative – it made him a good librarian, Penny supposed.

The square was already bustling with tourists when they arrived, though not all of the townsfolk were out yet. Jas was still with Shane and the animals, and the Cohen family – Vincent, Sam, and their parents – hadn’t arrived yet. Maru and Sebastian were there, oddly enough, standing with their parents and both looking equally disgruntled.

Maru’s face perked up when she noticed Penny, and she hurried over. “Pen! Thank goodness you’re here!”

“Hey, Maru.” Penny said cheerfully. “I don’t usually see you in the morning at the fair!”

“That’s because I try to avoid it.” Maru sighed. “Mom always makes me show up for part of it, but I really hate this event. She made us come early today, though, because she wanted to expand her display and needed help setting up.”

“Oh,” Penny replied, surprised. “Why don’t you like it?” It was rare to see Maru in a bad mood.

“Just-“ Maru waved a hand ambiguously. “People. Tourists. It’s too crowded.”

“That’s understandable.” Penny linked an arm in Maru’s. “Come on, let’s find some secluded corner to hang out in, then. We could go up to the meadow, where Gus usually sets up. It’s too early for people to be looking for food.”

“Sure.” Maru gave her a little smile.

It was strange to walk through her own little town and have it be crowded. Penny didn’t like having so many people around, but they were interesting to look at – dressed in fashions that weren’t homemade, talking loudly and excitedly.

The crowd dispersed as they reached the top of the square, as Penny had predicted, and there were only a few people standing around Gus’s set up. One of them, a jovial looking man with a short, plump wife wearing pastels, gave them a cheerful smile when they got near.

“Hello, ladies! Lovely day, isn’t it?”

There was a brief, awkward silence, and then Penny replied, “Um, yes. Very nice.”

Usually Maru would speak to people before she did, and she gave her friend a quick glance. Maru looked decidedly unfriendly.

“Such a quaint little village here.” The stranger sighed gustily. “Love it. We try to come every year. What about you girls? You look like you must have travelled quite a bit. Did you come from far?”

“About a fifteen minute walk.” Maru replied flatly. “Because we live here. Let’s go, Pen.”

She pulled Penny away, walking quickly, and Penny hurried to keep up with her, giving the tourists an apologetic look. Maru’s mouth was a thin, angry line until they reached the stairs leading down on the other side of the meadow, far away from anyone, and she stopped abruptly and exclaimed, “I _HATE_ this stupid day.”

“What’s going on?” Penny asked, confused. “What’s wrong, Maru?”

“Didn’t you hear him? ‘Must have travelled quite a bit’ my _ass_. I’m wearing fucking overalls, I look more like a farmer than the actual farmer does.” Maru ran a hand through her hair. “Don’t you get it, Penny? It’s because I’m black. And every year, all these stupid tourists ask these stupid questions, making it oh-so-clear that I _must_ not be a local, because I don’t look like anyone else does.”

“Oh.” Penny realised, suddenly, that she had never thought about how things might be different for Maru because of how she looked. She was just Maru, and yeah, she was different, but it was like how Sam had weird, gigantic hair, or how Abigail wore black eyeliner that made her look like a raccoon and practiced witchcraft. Everyone had their own little uniquenesses, and Maru was no different. “I’m… I’m really sorry, Maru. I didn’t realise.”

“It’s fine.” Maru sighed. “Nobody does, anyways. Not even Mom. She just thinks I don’t want to be around strangers because I’m shy or something. Like Sebastian. Dad probably gets it, I guess, but he never wants to talk about it. I just feel so alone.”

“I don’t really know what to say, Maru.” Penny admitted. “Except that you do belong here, and you’ve got us. It doesn’t matter what those people say… they don’t know you. They don’t know Pelican Town.”

“Thanks, Pen.” Maru gave her a sad smile. “Come on, let’s go look at some cute animals or something.”

Penny squeezed Maru’s arm. “I hear Elizabeth brought bunnies this year. And if any tourists try to speak to us, I’ll let them know we aren’t interested in talking.”

Maru laughed. “Penny, I can’t even picture you being rude to someone. I suspect you wouldn’t even know how.”

“Hey, I could tell someone to, uh, heck off, if I had to.”

Maru laughed even harder at that, making Penny giggle, and they walked down the stairs arm in arm.

Jas was delighted to see them, and even more delighted to show off the soft rabbits that Elizabeth had raised. She showed them how to pet the friendly little creatures and gave them some lettuce and dandelion leaves to feed them as treats, before Shane called her back to help with feeding the other animals.

There were less people over here – the petting zoo was mainly popular with children, and the families usually showed up more in the afternoon. Maru had relaxed a bit, absorbed in the animals.

Penny almost missed seeing Haley hovering nearby, except that it was hard to miss the bright colours that Haley always wore. She looked nervous, glancing back and forth between the rabbits and Shane. Haley and Shane had never been on the best of terms.

An idea came to her, and she almost giggled out loud at it. Should she? After all, Maru _had_ tricked her with that picnic that she brought Harvey to. Turnabout was fair play, right?

Besides, Haley looked so sad and eager. Penny wasn’t great at talking to people, but she could swallow her nerves this once.

“Hey, Haley!” Penny called, waving at her. Maru’s head shot up, and she stared at Penny in wide-eyed horror.

The blonde turned to look at her in surprise, but she waved back tentatively. “Hi.”

“Have you seen the rabbits yet?” Penny asked, as if it wasn’t the first time in years she had initiated a conversation the younger girl.

Haley approached slowly. “Noo… not yet. I love bunnies. They look so cute.”

“Here.” Penny stood up and held out the lettuce leaf she was holding. “Want to try feeding them? Maru can show you how, she’s really good with them.”

Maru looked slightly panicked, but put a tentative smile on. “Um, hi, Haley.”

Haley gave her a nervous smile back. “Hi, Maru.” She held the lettuce leaf carefully. “So, ah… what should I do?”

“You can just hold it through the bars, and one of them will come on over.” Maru held her own vegetable to the cage, and one of the rabbits obligingly hopped over. “And, um, you can pet them, if you’re really careful. You just have to move slowly.”

Haley had sank to the ground in the spot vacated by Penny, and Penny could see Maru’s ears were tinted red. She didn’t know exactly what had happened between the two of them – Maru had never really wanted to talk about it – but maybe it wasn’t too late to fix things.

“I think I just saw my mom.” She said, stepping back. “I’ll see you later, Maru. Have fun!”

Maru gave her a long look, but “See you later, Pen.” was all she said.

It wasn’t actually a lie; Pam had just opened the trailer look, peering around at the crowd. It was the one day of the year they always spent together. Ever since she had been a little girl, Pam and Penny went to the fair and played the games. When she had been very young, her dad would meet them after for a burger and Penny would show him all the prizes Pam had won. It was the one tradition they kept intact after he left, and Penny still clung to it. 

“Penny, baby!” Pam called, catching sight of her. “You ready to show some of these games people who’s boss?”

“Sure am, Mom.” Penny replied, smiling. “Where should we start?”

It wasn’t a real question – they always started at the fishing booth. Pam had been a keen fisher, once. Back when the bus was still running and she was actually employed, back when she did more than drink all day, she would set up by the river and fish for hours. Sure, there was usually a six pack beside her, but she would come home cheerful and proud of her catch, not angry and throwing cans.

Penny often wondered if it would even be possible to go back there, even if the bus did get fixed and Pam was rehired to drive. It felt like forever, sometimes, that she had been an angry drunk, slinking back and forth between the trailer and the bar.

But not today, and today she wouldn’t think about it.

“The fishing, of course.” Pam grinned back at her, showing yellowed teeth. “Let’s see if the old guy still remembers me.”

The man who ran the booth did remember them, of course. He had been coming to Pelican town every year for as long as Penny could remember, and she and her mother had visited him every time. He griped at Pam as she played, pulling fake fish after fake fish, and although her score wasn’t the highest she had gotten, it was still high enough to win a decent number of the star tokens used as prizes at the fair.

They visited the slingshot booth next, which Penny tried her hand at first. She missed terribly on her first, second, and third shots, and then Pam took the slingshot from her hand and started whipping off shots, managing to bring their score up to at least high enough for a moderate handful of tokens.

“You gotta focus, baby!” Pam said, laughing. “Too many books and not enough outdoors, that’s what’s the trouble. You gotta pull way back, hey? We’ll go again, buddy, give the girl another try.”

The booth owner gave Penny a broad wink as he took Pam’s coins. “You can get it this time, Penny, I believe in you.”

She laughed – after all, they did do this every year – but willingly took the slingshot back from Pam. Her first shot still missed, but she got a few balloons on the second try, and a few more on the third, before missing again on the fourth and fifth shots and handing the slingshot back to Pam to squeak in a few more well-aimed shots before the timer buzzed.

The man with the green and orange spinner wheel was fairly new to the fair – only five or so years that he had been coming. There tended to be a certain math to how the hand would land, if you watched carefully – which Penny always did. She usually only did one or two spins these days, with Pam watching from the sidelines – “Gamblin’ ain’t for me,” she’d say, “I don’t have room for any more vices,” – but it was enough.

They brought their collection of tokens to the booth near the top of the square, and Pam picked out a large, brightly-coloured stuffed carrot with their winnings and handed it to Penny. It smelled like off-gassing chemicals, and there was already some polyester stuffing trying to escape, but Penny hugged it close as she followed her short, red-faced mother towards the picnic tables and Gus’s famous burgers. There was no father waiting for them, and Pam would have a beer with her meal – but life couldn’t always be perfect, not for everyone, and Penny was happy to have these good days when they came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter: Me, a white girl in a predominantly white, extremely liberal city in Canada, trying to write about the experiences of a POC facing racism. Oh, Yoba. Did I address it well? I have no idea. Please tell me. I have literally never been in Maru's position, only Penny's, the one where she was like "oh yeah racism exists I guess I never think about that". 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and also Maru panicking, because I love making my characters hang out with people they like but don't know how to talk to.


	22. Start Again - Maru

It was a beautiful day in Pelican Town.

The sun was shining, and the door of the clinic shut behind Maru with a satisfying bang; that blessed noise that meant her work day was done.

Not that she really minded working in the clinic. It was more like, well, hanging out in the clinic, and sometimes learning stuff from Harvey. Still, it felt good to be done for the day, the cool, earthy fall wind on her face, the sun sparkling off of the orange and yellow leaves on the ground.

Lewis had raked the leaves out the square that morning – while Harvey and Maru watched from the comfort of the clinic – but there were more on the ground already. Deliciously crunchy ones, too.

She decided, just for that reason, to take the long way home, heading up the stairs to the side of the clinic and looping through the meadow, instead of heading straight for the mountain trail. Crunch, crunch! What a wonderfully crisp, leaf-crunching world it was.

Distracted by the leaves, she didn’t realize that she wasn’t alone until she came face to face with a pair of mesmerizing blue eyes.

Which promptly caused all thoughts of leaves to flee – along with all other thoughts entirely.

“Uh.” said the girl that had, more than once, been described by Mayor Lewis as ‘the brightest youth in all of Pelican Town’.

She hadn’t talked to Haley since those brief moments at the fair, when Penny had called the girl over. Maru had been shocked nearly speechless then, too. She had noticed Haley, but hadn’t known what to say – the last thing she had expected was for Penny to invite the girl over, encourage her to sit next to Maru, and then disappear. Maru had been panicking, but the rabbits had provided a good topic of conversation, until a tourist group rolled over to come see the animals and Haley had left to go join up with Alex.

“Hey.” Haley replied, a worried look on her face. “Um, have you seen a camera anywhere?”

“Um.” Maru replied, then tried again. “Ah, I haven’t, no. Did you lose yours?”

“Yes… I just put it down for a moment, just to arrange some flowers for a picture, and I can’t find it anywhere.” She sighed, running a hand through her blonde hair. “I lose things way too easy.”

Maru attempted to find some of her lost brainpower. Yoba, she had not been prepared for this. “Would… you like some help finding it?” Yes, that was a good thing to say.

“Oh, would you mind?” The relief was palpable on Haley’s face. “It’s my little brown polaroid, the one I’ve had since we were kids…”

 “Of course.” Maru managed. “Do you know… uh… whereabouts you were when you lost it?”

“Near the fountain, I think, but I can’t find it at all.”

“Well, let’s split up, then.” Maru tried to give her an encouraging smile. “A new set of eyes might help. Want to check the ground below the fountain, and I’ll check above it?”

“Sounds good.” Haley tentatively returned the smile.

It was surprisingly easy to find – or maybe Yoba was listening to her frantic prayers. Either way, it showed up after about five minutes of searching, laying in a pile of brown leaves near the playground.

Maru picked it up and held it in the air. “Haley? Is this it?”

“Oh my god!” The blond girl ran over and took it from her hands before wrapping her in a tight hug. “Maru, you’re so amazing! I can’t thank you enough!”

Tentatively hugging back, Maru wished that Haley would misplace things more often. Imagine holding her in her arms on the regular – the soft curves of her waist, the gentle pressure of her breasts against Maru’s own decidedly flat chest.

“You’re – you’re welcome.” She stammered.

“I’ve been out here for _hours_ ,” Haley confessed as she released her. “I was getting so sure that it was gone forever, and then BAM, you’re here to save the day. Hey, smile!”

Maru could barely react before the camera flashed.

“Here,” Haley said, pulling out the picture and waving it, “For you. As a thank you.”

Maru took it, waving it back and forth and watching it slowly develop. Faintly, there they were – Haley’s brilliant smile, Maru staring at Haley.

She had almost forgotten the break-neck speed at which Haley operated. Their dynamic as children – Haley rushing ahead, Maru hurrying to keep up. Haley glowing, Maru with stars in her eyes.

“How does it look?” Haley asked. “Did it turn out, or should we do another?”

 _You look beautiful and I look like an idiot._ “It looks great, thank you.” She said aloud. She didn’t want to give Haley a chance to examine it – and the longing that was far too apparent on her own face.

So she did the only thing she could think of, and plunged straight into the words she had been thinking about saying for years. “Er… hey. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, actually… I owe you an apology.”

Haley’s eyebrows shot up but she didn’t say anything.

“For when we were kids.” Maru rushed on. “I… I was a real jerk to you.”

“Yeah, you were.” Haley replied. “And I still don’t get it, Maru. Why? One day we were best friends, the next day you wouldn’t look at me. And you never told me why. What did I do?”

She had thought about that question a lot. How to explain? _I was madly in love with you and couldn’t stand seeing you care about anyone else._ She couldn’t exactly say that, but there was no other excuse she could give that would be remotely okay.

“I was jealous.” She admitted, because half the truth was better than none. “I was jealous of your friendship with Alex. I didn’t want… I didn’t want to share.”

Haley cocked her head to the side, mouth pursed. “So it was all or nothing? Maru, that’s _so goddamn stupid_.”

Maru flushed. “Yeah. I know. I was an idiot. And I just… I just wanted to apologize for that. I should uh, probably go now. Gotta get home for dinner.”

“No, wait.” Haley said, and she froze in place. “You really hurt me, Maru, but... well, you were an idiot, but you’re less of one now, since you’re actually here apologizing. People change,” – she gave a rueful smile – “Including me. I’ve learned a lot about forgiveness lately, actually. And it’s been eight years – I’m tired of holding this grudge.”

“Do… do you want to be friends again?” It came out a bit hoarse.

“We could maybe practice being acquaintances, at least. It’s a real pain avoiding someone when you live in a town this small.”

“Agreed.” Maru smiled at her. “I guess I’ll see you around, then, Haley.”

“See you around, Maru.”

The leaves crunched on her walk home, but they hardly registered over the singing of her heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's such a little short chapter! I promise next chapter will make up for it, because I've already got it written and it's like three times as long. (Yoba grant me the strength to edit all that properly.)


	23. Boys and Girls - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot? No Plot, only Fluff! 
> 
> This may be the longest chapter I've ever written. Enjoy!
> 
> (Sorry if there are typos - my copyediting time this morning turned into fixing a plot gap so my final review was from my phone while at work...)

“Hey, isn’t that Penny?”

He couldn’t help the way his head jerked around any more than he could stop the beating of his own heart; a fact that never ceased to amuse Maru.

He hadn’t seen her for a few days, since she had come to return the last of his _Blue Knight_ books and he had pressed a few more sci-fi novels on her in the hopes of prolonging the time before she picked up _The Lady_. It seemed to be working; it had been a few weeks since the fair and she was still talking to him.

And for once Maru’s comment wasn’t a prank, and she was actually there – although Maru still giggled at his reaction.

She was dragging a wagon with pumpkins on it, Jas and Vincent following close behind.

“Looks like they’re going to do some pumpkin carving.” Maru said. She sighed. “I love carving pumpkins. Nothing like handfuls of gushy pumpkin guts.”

“Why don’t you go see if they want any help?” Harvey suggested. “There’s no more patients today, you could head out early.”

“Or you could go help.” Maru replied, winking slyly. “Go earn your girl’s heart by slinging pumpkin guts for her.”

He blushed. “Maru!”

Maru laughed. “I think I will take you up on your offer to leave early, though. But not to join them – to be honest, I’m terrible with children. I need you guys to start dating so Penny has someone else to drag on her picnics with them. Every time Vincent asks me a question like ‘Miss Maru, why do crickets make so much noise?’ I feel my desire to live draining away.” She shuddered. “Harvey, he asks _so many_ questions.”

Harvey laughed. “I think he’s cute. He’s always so eager to learn.”

Maru shook her head at him. “You’ll learn. Anyways, I’m going home. You should go join those pumpkin-carvers, since you think they’re all so cute.”

“Pfft.” He made a shooing motion. “Get out of here.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and left, waving at Penny as she stepped out of the door.

He wanted to join them, he really did – if he could just get up the nerves to do it. It would be way too forward, just walking up there and inviting himself to sit with them.

So he just sat in his clinic instead and watched the sunshine shine off Penny’s hair as she laughed and helped her charges set up their pumpkins, paperwork forgotten in front of him.

Neat, prim little Jas took over in no time, of course, selecting pumpkins for each of the three of them and getting to work drawing out her design. Vincent was far less organized, coming up with sketch after sketch and tossing them away as he changed his mind (and then running after the balls of paper when Penny inevitably noticed and scolded him).

He eventually turned back to the paperwork, feeling just a bit silly – it was weird to watch them, wasn’t it? Even if she did look so beautiful in the sunshine, so competent in the way she managed her young charges. It was hard to focus, though, and he found himself just staring at the paper and trying to resist the urge to watch the square when a loud howl made him jump.

He looked up just in time to see Vincent drop one of the small carving knives.

Harvey swore and hurried out from behind the desk, pushing the clinic door open and striding over to the group. Vincent wasn’t crying – in fact, he looked rather pleased, staring at his hand – but Penny looked distraught.

“Are you guys okay?” He asked.

“I cut my hand!” Vincent announced, holding it up for inspection. Harvey took it carefully in his own hands. It was just a small cut, slicing across one of his fingertips, but blood was starting to bead up.

“You did!” He agreed. “Just a small cut, though. I’ve got some bandages and- Penny!”

Penny had gone completely white.

“I- I-“ she stuttered, stumbling back. Harvey dropped Vincent’s hand and grabbed her arm, holding her steady.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He said, soothingly. “We’re just going to sit down, okay? Nice and easy.” He put one hand behind her back and eased her to the ground. “Jas, could you do me a favour? If you go into the clinic, there’s a little fridge behind the counter. Can you grab me a juice box from there?”

Jas sped off and he sat down next to Penny, one hand still against her back, while Vincent looked on worriedly. “Don’t worry.” He told the boy, “Miss Penny is going to be just fine in a moment. Can you sit still while we wait for Jas?”

Vincent nodded, wide eyed. He sat down and froze in position. It wasn’t quite what Harvey had meant, but he supposed it would do just fine. Penny smiled wanly at him and then – making his throat suddenly go dry and his muscles freeze much like Vincent’s – she leaned her head against his arm.

Yoba, why did she always have to affect him like this in the middle of a medical situation? _She’s light headed, Harvey, not making a move,_ he scolded himself.

Jas returned promptly, puffing for breath. She handed him the juice box then turned on her playmate, hands on hips. “Vincent!” she scolded, still puffing. “You know we don’t let Miss Penny see the b-word!”

“Sorry.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “I forgot. I’m really sorry.”

“Hey now, it’s okay.” Harvey said, unwrapping the straw carefully with one hand, carefully avoiding jostling Penny. “Mistakes happen. As long as you try to be more careful in the future, it’s okay.”

He wrestled the straw in to the box and handed it to Penny, who took it from him with another of her little smiles that never failed to make his heart pound. The colour was already starting to return to her face, and he let his hand drop as she sat up to drink.

“Jas, can you stay here with Miss Penny?” he asked the little girl, who nodded solemnly. “Vincent, let’s go take care of your hand, okay?”

Vincent gave Penny one last worried look before standing and following him. “Thanks for saving Miss Penny, Doctor Harvey.” The boy said, walking beside him. “I would have been really sad if she died.”

“She wasn’t in any risk of dying, don’t worry.” Harvey smiled at him. Vincent _was_ cute, with his little round face and messy strawberry blond hair. He was a little mischief, but that was part of the cuteness, really.

“Doctor Harvey?” Vincent asked then, sounding solemn. “Do people really make babies by rubbing their butts together?”

Okay, he could commiserate with Maru a bit, fair enough. Harvey bit his lip. “That’s not how it generally works, Vincent, no.” He was really going to have to have a talk with Jodi, wasn’t he? Oh, Yoba. “It’s a bit complicated to explain right now, but there’s more to it than that.”

“Oh.” Vincent mulled over that piece of information for a minute, as Harvey opened the clinic door and ushered him inside. “Doctor Harvey, can girls really just make their hair fall out by thinking about it? Sebastian says they can. That’s why you see grown up men with hair on their legs and stuff, but not ladies. Well, except Leah, but that’s just because she wants to keep her hair for warmth.” He paused. “I think Leah’s smart. She probably saves a lot of money on blankets and stuff. Jas says girls can’t do that, but Sebastian is really smart, so I think Jas just hasn’t figured out how yet.”

Oh, Yoba, indeed. “Jas is right on this one, Vincent. Girls who want to get rid of hair shave it off, like how men can shave off their beards. Girls don’t have magical powers – they aren’t really that different from boys, as hard as it is to believe.” Finally, they were in his exam room. He open a cupboard and brought out a wipe and a bandage.

Vincent looked pleased at that. “I’m glad to hear that. It sounded scary. Hey, Doctor Harvey?”

“Yes?” Harvey replied, quashing down the dread rising in him.

“How can I tell if I’m a boy or girl? My mom says I’m a boy but I’d really like to be able to make sure for myself.”

_Yoba, I’m just a small-town doctor. I’m so not equipped for this._

Harvey sat on his low stool, looking Vincent in his big blue, worried eyes. “Well, Vincent, there’s a couple of things. There are parts that boys have, that girls don’t have. That’s the simple part. You know your penis, where you pee? Girls usually don’t have those.” He chewed on his lip again. How much to say? Goodness knew what Jodi and Kent would think of this conversation, and the last thing he wanted was for Vincent to go home saying that Harvey had told him that he’s a girl. Still, he had known people in school – people who really could have used an honest conversation at a young age. And judging by Sam’s questions last week, those were conversations were hard to come by in Pelican Town. “That’s not all there is to being a boy or girl though. Sometimes girls have penises too. The most important thing is what you feel you are.”

Vincent mulled over that for a moment, and Harvey took the opportunity to swab down his finger and wrap a bandage over it. “So…” he finally asked, “Does that mean girls can’t pee?”

How old was Vincent? Ten? _Oh, Yoba. Yoba, Yoba, Yoba._ “Girls can pee too, Vincent, just from a different place.”

“Oh. Cool.” Vincent nodded. “Cool, cool. I’ll tell Jas that.”

Harvey didn’t trust himself to respond to that. “Let’s go rejoin the girls, okay? And – here. To help your finger heal better.” He handed Vincent a lollipop.

“Thanks!” Vincent grinned. “Can we bring one for Jas, too? And Miss Penny?”

“Of course.” Harvey picked out a few more and they head back to the girls, Vincent blissfully silent with his lollipop in his mouth.

Penny’s colour had returned when they came back, and she supervising Jas as the girl carefully cut the top off of her pumpkin.

“We brought lollipops!” Vincent announced around his.

Harvey smiled and pulled them out. “How are you feeling?” He asked Penny.

“Fine now, thank you.” She smiled back at him. Flip flip, went his heart. “Would you like to come join us? We have some spare pumpkins. Um, if you’re not busy.”

“I would love to!” Harvey replied, smiling. “It’s awfully dull in the clinic some days.”

He picked out a pumpkin and sat on the ground next to Penny, while she cut the top off of Vincent’s pumpkin for him. Jas was already hard at work pulling out the insides of her pumpkin, arm slimy.

It was a weird, idyllic experience, sitting in the middle of the square, in the middle of the day, with Penny and the two children. Almost the kind of scene he imagined himself being in if he were ever lucky enough to have children – or to have a wife like – well, it seemed a bit too presumptuous to even imagine that, really. 

The sun shone and Penny glowed with the kind of brilliance he could feel, as always, without even looking at her. Funny, how every moment felt so poetic around her, even with his arm covered with pumpkin and-

Splat! “VINCENT!” SPLAT!

“Children!” Penny said, sternly. “No throwing pumpkin. Apologize to each other, and keep the pumpkin goop where it belongs.”

“Sorry, Jas.”

“Sorry, Vincent.”

Penny turned to him with a rueful smile, and both children made faces at each other behind her back. Harvey couldn’t hold back his laughter, and Penny giggled too, grinning at him.

“Miss Penny?” Jas asked, looking at them. “Are you guys going to get married?”

Penny’s face went white and then immediately red. “Jas! That’s not a very appropriate question to ask!”

“Well, that’s what people who are dating do, don’t they?” Jas asked innocently. “Uncle Shane and Auntie Elizabeth were dating and then they got married.”

There was a moment of silence where they avoided each other’s gaze, and then Penny choked out, “Doctor Harvey and I aren’t dating, Jas.”

“Oh.” Jas looked up, frowning slightly. “Sam says you guys are dating, didn’t he, Vincent?”

“Well, sort of. Sam said he asked Doctor Harvey, and Doctor Harvey said no, but he doesn’t believe him because he looked really guilty.” Vincent grinned his gap tooth smile. “And he said he told Doctor Harvey that he would punch him if he was mean! Did he really, Doctor Harvey? And Abigail showed us how to make a fist!” he added excitedly. “See?” He held one fist up, the thumb below curled fingers. “Well, she showed Sam, but I watched. She says if you do it wrong and you punch someone you could break your thumb. Is that true, Doctor Harvey? I tried punching a tree but it hurt anyways. Jas says it would hurt less if you punch a person because they’re softer than trees. I hope so, because if you were mean to Miss Penny I would have to punch you too, and punching that tree really hurt.”

“Vincent!” Jas hissed. “It’s not nice to tell people you’ll punch them!”

“I mean, I think it would be less nice to just punch someone without warning, wouldn’t it?” Vincent exclaimed defensively.

“I- Vincent- no!” Penny finally got out, face scarlet. “Vincent, I want you to forget that you ever learned that, because it is _never_ okay to hit anyone! Never!”

Both children stared at her in shock. “Yes, Miss Penny.” Vincent said, eyes on the ground. “I’m sorry, Miss Penny.”

She took a long breath. “It’s okay, Vincent, you didn’t know. But you know now, both of you. I never want to hear of either of you hurting anyone on purpose, ever. And apologize to Doctor Harvey. It’s also not okay to threaten people. That’s another way to hurt someone.”

“I’m sorry, Doctor Harvey.” Vincent mumbled, looking like he was on the verge of tears again.

“I’m sorry, too, Harvey.” Penny looked humiliated, her own eyes a bit wet. “I can’t believe Sam would say that. I’m just – I’m so sorry.”

His stomach felt tight, and he swallowed against a dry throat. “It’s just fine, Penny. Sam and Vincent both just care about you a lot. And while Miss Penny is right that it’s not okay to threaten people, Vincent, I understand why you said that, and all is forgiven. It’s perfectly normal to be protective of people you love – the important thing is to make sure you always try to solve your problems with words and conversations, not violence.” He tried to keep his voice calm, soothing, despite the pounding in his chest, and urge to pull Penny into his arms – to do _anything_ – to get that wretched, miserable expression off her face.

“Well,” Jas announced, looking at him, “If you do want to marry Miss Penny, you should make your mind up right away, because Vincent wants to marry her too.”

Vincent’s head shot up, sad feelings forgotten. “ _JAS!”_ he gasped. “I was _six_!”

Harvey couldn’t help it; he chuckled. “Well, I didn’t know I had competition.”

Oh, Yoba… _What did I just say?_

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. He looked studiously at his pumpkin, hoping that Penny wouldn’t notice his flaming cheeks.

“I don’t want to marry Miss Penny anymore, anyways.” Vincent sniffed. “I was six when I said that. I’m going to marry Sebastian instead.”

“I like Sebastian.” Jas agreed. “I think he’s a bit too old for us though, don’t you?”

Vincent shrugged. “I don’t care how old he is. Miss Penny, do you care how old Doctor Harvey is? You’re super old, aren’t you, Doctor Harvey?”

“I think this topic of discussion is over, kids.” Penny said primly, her face still burning. “Would you like to practice your multiplication tables instead?”

“I was just asking!” Vincent protested.

“Vincent, I want you to run to the tree at the bottom of the square and back five times, and when you get back I want you to tell me what fifteen times twenty-five is.”

Vincent sighed and got up.

Penny smiled awkwardly at Harvey. “Sorry… kids. They’re terrible sometimes.”

“Hey, I’m right here!” Jas protested.

“Do you want to run laps too, Jas?” Penny asked pointedly.

“No… sorry.”

Harvey made a mental note. Despite her shyness and quietness, Penny could be fierce when she needed to.

\---

The rest of the morning the conversation stayed far more comfortable – although Vincent was sent to run laps four more times – and the children left after their pumpkins were carved, leaving Penny and Harvey alone together with their own pumpkins and the bowl of orange, seed-filled goop.

“I should really clean this up and roast some pumpkin seeds.” Penny sighed, looking at the pile. “I really hate it, though, to be honest. I don’t like having dirty hands.”

“I could help?” Harvey suggested. “I don’t mind… touching gross stuff is kind of my job.”

Penny made a face, and he grimaced. “Sorry, that sounded terrible. Was terrible, I guess.”

“Only moderately disgusting.” She smiled at him. “My high school science teacher suggested I go into medicine – I wouldn’t have the stomach for it, though. Also the whole fainting thing… sorry about that, by the way. Thank you so much for taking care of me and the kids this morning.”

“It was no problem. Your teacher wanted you to go into medicine, though? You must have had good grades.”

Penny shrugged. “I loved school. Love learning. I wish I could have done more but… well, you know.” There was a wistful look on her face that tore at his heart.

“What do you say we clean up these pumpkin seeds?” He suggested to change the subject, lifting the bowl up. “Er… we can use my kitchen, but it’s kind of a mess… again…”

Penny glanced in the direction of the trailer. “Mine too, probably. I don’t mind a bit of mess – you have a lovely kitchen.”

It was hardly that – a tiny nook in the corner of a bachelor apartment – but he supposed it was nicer than the trailer kitchen. “Let’s go to mine, then.”

She smiled shyly at him. “Okay.”

They took their carved pumpkins into the clinic for safekeeping, and then Harvey carried the bowl upstairs while Penny followed. His apartment wasn’t too bad – which was to say, there at least was no underwear left out in any embarrassing locations – but it wasn’t great, either.

Penny looked around. “I’m going to do your dishes.” She announced.

“Penny, no—“ Harvey started, but she shook her head at him.

“Really, I want to. If you start in on those seeds for me, I’ll get these done in a few minutes.”

He put his hands up in surrender. “I owe you.”

“You really don’t.” Penny shook her head again. “If anything, I owe you. I can’t believe Sam… ugh. Harvey, I really can’t apologize enough.”

“It’s fine.” Harvey smiled. “Honestly, you should have seen Sam – it was more funny than anything. I can’t picture him hurting a fly. He’s just a good guy who cares about his friends.”

“Still…” she sighed. “I hate to have caused you trouble. You already do so much for me.”

“It was no trouble, I promise. And if a bit of shovel talk is the cost of being friends with you – it’s more than worth it.”

She stared at him for a minute, looking as though she didn’t quite believe it. “Well… thank you, Harvey.” She looked down, twisting her hands. “I… I’m going to start the dishes.”

“I’ll just grab a bowl for the seeds, then.”

She hummed while doing the dishes again – softly, tunelessly – and he found it an oddly comforting sound. It made him think of whitewashed picket fences and bright kitchens with yellow curtains – warm, homey, domestic. Far away from his small, cramped kitchen, or her dark, dingy one.

Penny deserved so much better than she had, and Yoba, he wished he could be lucky enough to give it to her.

She did finish the dishes in minutes, as she said she would, and came over to join him at the table when she finished. She sat down across from him, not saying anything, just resting her little chin on her hands and watching.

Harvey busied himself with not watching her watching.

He was quickly learning that he had taken on a bit more than he was ready for with the seeds – how _were_ they so slippery?

He picked up a fresh handful – it was kind of fun to hold, in a juvenile way, although he would never admit that out loud – and accidentally squeezed it too hard.

Splat! An orange-covered seed flew out and hit Penny directly on the forehead.

“Oh, Yoba!” Harvey exclaimed. “I’m so sorry, it just flew out!”

Penny giggled, peeling it off her face. “These things get everywhere.” She gave him a sly little smile (causing all kinds of effects on his poor, pounding little heart) and flicked it back at him. 

“Oops!” She said, and orange splattered against his own face.

“Hey!” He laughed. “I thought the rule was no throwing pumpkin?”

Penny grinned. “You started it.”

“Pfft.” Harvey reached in the bowl. “I think you’ve forgotten that I have an advantage – I don’t mind getting my hands dirty.” The lump of pumpkin landed in her hair, this time, almost blending in against its brilliant colour.

“I can make an exception!” She laughed, grabbing her own handful and aiming it at him.

“Oh, Yoba.” He groaned as his vision specked with orange. “Not the glasses! You’ll pay for that.”

She giggled and danced away, and his first throw missed her entirely, splattering against the wall. She had left the bowl with him, though, a grave tactical error, and he threw a second handful – which missed too.

Penny laughed again as the second glob of pumpkin hit his stove and slid down, and he grabbed the bowl and chased after her, cornering her in the kitchen.

The third throw did hit, finally – landing in the front of her hair and sliding down her forehead. “Eww!” Penny exclaimed, still laughing. “Okay, truce, truce!”

Harvey laughed too and put the bowl down. “Truce. Even if all I can see is orange now.”

She peered up at him. “I’m pretty sure you’re exaggerating, since I can still see your eyes.”

“Maybe a little.” He grinned. “You’ve got pumpkin in your hair. I think. It’s all the same colour.”

Penny giggled and he leaned forward and plucked out a strand of pumpkin. “No, I’m wrong. Your hair is a much nicer colour.”

Her cheeks turned pink at that, and looking down at her upturned face, he realised how close she was to him.

Yoba, it was tempting. Her rosy cheeks and bright green eyes and smiling lips were _right there_ and all he had to do was just lean down a little bit-

But he didn’t even know if she _wanted_ to kiss him, and he wasn’t going to make that decision for her.

So he stepped back instead and dropped the pumpkin in the sink. “And I thought this place was a mess before.”

Penny laughed, although it sounded a bit strained. “I’ll help you tidy up. I suppose we should try to clean up those seeds, too, rather than just throwing them around.”

“That would probably be a good idea.” He shook his head. “I’m going to find a cloth to clean these glasses with, first of all, though. It would probably look tidier in here if there wasn’t orange speckles everywhere I looked.”

She giggled again at that – Yoba, he didn’t know why she laughed at his lame jokes but his heart could hardly stand it – and began pulling the pumpkin out of her hair. “Sorry about that.”

“It was fun.” Harvey smiled. “And I promise I won’t tell Vincent and Jas.”

“I appreciate that.” She smiled back at him. “It was fun. Messy, though. And you still have a pumpkin seed on your face.”

As much as he did want to kiss her, Harvey thought, he was satisfied – seeing the sadness gone, for once, from her green eyes. He wanted more – he wanted _so much_ – but it felt wonderful just being her friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A major shout out to [artificialheart](http://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialheart/pseuds/artificialheart) who is my muse and is responsible for the entire second half of this chapter that takes place in Harvey's apartment. I was going to leave it out because the chapter was getting too long, and she demanded that it stay for cuteness reasons. Now that it's written, she was definitely right. (She's also responsible for like 50% of the content of this story because she gives me ideas every time I'm stuck. She's amazing.) 
> 
> Btw if anyone wants to draw a Harvey or Penny wearing pumpkin goop, feel free to. ;) It's probably my favourite mental image from this story so far.


	24. Trailer Girl - Penny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! 
> 
> I am so sorry this has taken so long to post! It's been a perfect storm... finals, busy at work, and my boyfriend just moved away for school. Oh, and my computer is basically broken (it honestly has taken me fifteen minutes to post this so far because it keeps freezing). 
> 
> I'm also Doin' A Depression, as one does, so I've been basically absentee from everything while I lurk and try to avoid all humans. (Sorry to all the people whose fics I haven't been commenting on lately; I'm still reading! Just... quietly.) I haven't abandoned any of my fics, but I'm also extremely unproductive and uninspired right now. 
> 
> The editing is probably kind of rough on this chapter, because it's all my poor broken computer can handle to even post it. I'll try to do some additional editting from my phone but you know how it is. 
> 
> As soon as I get a new computer (hopefully soon, dear god, I'm dying, I just bought Dream Daddy and I need to finish romancing dads) I'll try to get into a more regular posting schedule. 
> 
> In the meantime... enjoy! Oh, and also, remember all the cute feelings in last chapter? Hold on to those, you might need them.

Oh, love.

Penny knew all about love. She’d read through every romance book that Gunther had, and every other available book with the tiniest snippet of romantic subplot in it, too.

Love. Love creeps across the skyline of your heart like a slow dawn on a chilly day. Love slides under the door of your soul like a letter, a thin piece of paper that expands until it envelops your entire being. Love grows like a flower, poking through the dark earth of your existence like the first snowdrops in early March. Love catches hold of you and spreads its warmth out, out, to the tips of your fingers and toes, filling you with warmth.

Love hit Penny like a tonne of bricks.

She’d had a revelation while washing dishes in Harvey’s apartment; she was _happy_. In that moment, life felt good. She felt safe. She felt _wanted_ , rather than just being a burden on everyone; she was, temporarily, more than trailer trash Penny.

And then she dried her hands, feeling warm, content, still smiling, and turned to walk over to where Harvey was separating out the pumpkin seeds—

And it hit.

Objectively, what she saw was a man in his early thirties, with lines around his eyes that suggested he was older. Glasses that didn’t quite suit his round face, with thick lenses that made his eyes look large and distorted the side of his face. A short, neatly trimmed moustache over a wide mouth that had lips a bit too full to be masculine. He was leaning over the table, shoulders a bit hunched, frowning slightly as his long, thin hands carefully picked out the pumpkin seeds.

And oh, Yoba, he was perfect.

It wasn’t just the giddiness of her crush; it was the way she felt genuinely happy any time she was near him. The aura of calm, of comfort, that enveloped anyone lucky enough to be in his proximity. His gentle kindness, no matter who or what he was dealing with. Watching him with the children that morning had played all kind of havoc with her emotions. And that horrible scene where Vincent both explained that Sam had threatened Harvey and then proceeded to threaten the poor man himself – and then she had overreacted and spoken harshly – and yet throughout it Harvey was just his kind, mellow self, gently correcting Vincent and reassuring her all in the same breath.

He was imperfect and perfect and Penny had never felt so passionately about anyone. She was overwhelmed and in awe and excited and nervous and it all felt so good.

She had been brave enough to be playful, and he had responded in kind, leaving her breathless with laugher – until they had ended up face to face in his kitchen, and she found herself breathless for another reason. She had been hopeful and afraid that he would kiss her, and it was a bittersweet relief when he stepped back instead. There had been an intensity in his eyes that left her knees weak and her heart pounding, even as he moved away and changed the subject.

For once… it didn’t seem too much to hope.

And the compliments he had paid her; three in total now. He had told her that her thoughts were lovely; he had called her a pretty girl; and he had said her hair was a nice colour. Three compliments! She didn’t know how to respond to them, but she tasted them for days, rolling his words over and over again in her head.

And then there was what he said to Vincent. Oh, it had been a joke, but the fact that he would even joke about it, rather than just acting disgusted as she would have expected. _Well, I didn’t know I had competition_.

Happiness was a strange, unfamiliar flavour, and it made her head spin.

She got home a bit later than usual, having spent the afternoon roasting pumpkin seeds with Harvey and chatting about books. He was adorably clueless in the kitchen, and afraid to touch anything; it was oddly comforting, seeing him so unsure, as opposed to his calm confidence in medical situations.

It was salmon season, and Pierre’s store was so well stocked with the flavourful fish that he had lowered the price and Penny was actually able to afford a small piece for her own dinner. It was a nice break from her usual diet and she lingered over the meal with the last of Harvey’s _Blue Knight_ books propped up in front of her.

It was a strangely happy evening. Penny had read, of course, about love changing lives; like a light you could carry inside yourself, helping you to see the good in each moment. It had never really seemed believable, but here she was, in the gloomy trailer she hated, feeling _happy_ , a word which was almost foreign to her life.

It seemed too good to be true, and she felt as though maybe she was in a fairy tale, waiting for the clock to chime midnight and dissolve the magic.

Penny checked the little clock she kept on the counter for cooking. 10:15, past her bedtime. Well, she would just wash her dinner dish and go to bed. She deposited the book in her bedroom and carried her plate and cutlery to the sink, humming to herself as she turned on the water.

And then jumped, dropping the dish in, as the door banged open behind her.

Pam leaned unsteadily against the doorframe, kicking her shoes off. “What’s this I hear about you canoodling in the square with the doc all day?” she demanded, slamming the door shut behind her.

Penny’s mouth went dry, and she turned the sink off with a shaking hand. “Doctor Harvey was just helping the children carve pumpkins with me, mom.” She replied, trying to keep her voice steady. “He came out and joined us after Vincent hurt his hand this morning.”

Yoba, the gossip in this town. She felt a surge of anger at whatever busy-body had made up that story; if only people knew the impact of their words.

Pam snorted in response, but didn’t approach, tossing herself down on the couch. Penny’s relief was short-lived though, as she patted the cushion beside her. “Come sit with me, baby.”

_Showing fear only makes it worse_ , she reminded herself, biting the inside of her cheek and walking over. She never sat on the couch – it was basically Pam’s bed, and not exactly the cleanest part of the house.

“I guess that’s the trouble with growing up in a small town, hey?” Pam said, leaning back. “Leaves you naïve as shit.”

Penny didn’t know what to say to that, but it didn’t matter – Pam continued without her.

“Penny, baby, men never want to be friends. No such thing. They only ever want one thing, baby. And maybe you think he’s gonna be the one or whatever shit.” She let out a raucous laugh. “That ain’t how it works, baby. Not for people like us.”

She gave Penny a sidelong glance at that one, but went on when Penny remained silent. “Oh, I know you think you’re better than me. Miss fancy teacher, you think. You ain’t, girl. You’re stuck in this same miserable boat, and you know it, you do – in ten years you’ll be sitting in the bar beside me, guarantee it. Or maybe in my seat – doubt I’ll last another ten years. You think you’re going to marry the town doctor, do ya? Come on, girl. Your da worked in a gas station, and even he was too good for us. Maybe you think he left because of me, but then why ain’t he called? Why ain’t he written?”

It hurt, hearing the words out loud. Her worst fears, laid out in such factual tones. And wasn’t it true? Pam was looking at her expectantly, and she managed a miserable shrug.

“Penny, baby, I’m just telling you this so you don’t go gettin’ hurt.” Pam said comfortingly, her rough, scratchy voice low. “I know you’re young and he’s probably spinnin’ ya all kinds of lies now, but you gotta know better than to trust him. Or any man, for that matter. He won’t seem so sweet when you’re signing a birth certificate by yourself. He’s a doctor, baby, and we’re trailer trash – you know folks say it. Look at yourself – you’re dressed in cast-offs and live on charity. He doesn’t really want you, and if he does, it’s gonna be a quick roll and he’ll never look you in the eye again.” She belched. “Take it from someone with experience.” She glanced at Penny again. “Still no words, baby? Well, wear a rubber, at least. You can’t afford to support a fatherless baby. Now go to bed, I’m gonna watch some telly.”

Penny stood up stiffly. “Goodnight, Mom.”

The walk from the living room to her bedroom felt like it took ages – although it couldn’t have been more than twenty feet.

The crude things Pam had said – they couldn’t be true, could they? She couldn’t imagine Harvey being so cruel. _Won’t seem so sweet when you’re signing a birth certificate by yourself_. She had known her father, but his name wasn’t on her birth certificate – he and Pam had been broken up when she was born, and they never updated the paperwork when he came back. Maybe it had been on purpose on his part.

On the other hand, why _would_ Harvey be interested in her? Why would he say those things? _“I’m in the habit of embarrassing myself in front of pretty girls.”_ The words that were so sweet only minutes before felt like ashes in her mouth. Pam was right, of course – she was trailer trash, and he was a doctor. She wore cast-off clothing and he owned an entire clinic.

Maybe he just did feel sorry for her. Throwing her compliments like bones to a hungry dog.

Or maybe he did just want – what Pam had said – and she was an easy target, the quiet, lonely trailer girl, with no money and even less self-esteem. The lonely trailer girl who was in love with him.

She shut the door behind her and climbed into bed. His sweater was there, still, tucked beside her pillow.

He had never asked for it back. Had he even remembered? Did he care?

She took the sweater and pushed it into one of the dresser drawers, tucking it under a pile of shirts.

She was naïve, like Pam said. And maybe Harvey was different, but maybe he wasn’t, either.


	25. Spiders and Spooks - Maru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back  
> back again  
> shady's back  
> tell your friends~~~
> 
> Hi guys! Wow, look, I'm not dead!  
> A lot has happened since August 24, 2017 (the last time I updated this story). I'm in a better place now and determined to finish this story.  
> Thank you all SO MUCH for your continuing support. And of course special thanks to artificialheart who never gave up on nagging me to get back into writing. <3 <3 
> 
> Here's a very long-overdue Maru chapter! I hope you guys enjoy long chapters because this thing is somehow over 4500 words. Oops.

Maru shivered delightfully. Spirits' Eve was finally here.

It would be hard for her to pick a favourite holiday - there were so many wonderful ones - but she could definitely say that Spirits' Eve was among the top few. The lights, the pumpkins, the crisp chill in the air! And, of course, the maze. She hadn't found the end of a maze yet - they were notoriously difficult - but she had heard about the prizes that could be found by the first person to the end. And this year could be the year!

Best of all, she could do it with her two best friends this year.

Sebastian was standing on the outskirts of the event, as always, and Sam, as always, was right next to him. Sebastian gave her a brief nod as she passed by - a subtle acknowledgement made much less subtle by Sam turning around to see who Sebastian was looking at and waving at her with his wide, friendly grin.

That was strange; Sam had always seemed kind of uncomfortable around her before. Then again, so had Sebastian - maybe it was another sign that there might be hope of having a friendship with her brother.

It looked like the whole town was there already. Jas and Vincent were running around in little Spirit’s Eve costumes. Jas was clearly a princess, and Vincent was… well, some kind of green thing. A dragon? A dinosaur? Whatever it was, he seemed to be enjoying it.

The buffet table was groaning with various fall and pumpkin-themed foods, Gus standing proudly beside it and Pam lurking near the pumpkin ale. In past years Shane would have been, too, but instead he was watching over Jas and Vincent with his wife Elizabeth. That was nice; Penny wouldn’t feel obligated to be the town’s babysitter tonight.

Penny was still close to the children, though, of course. Wherever there were children, you could find Penny. Ugh. Maru preferred to be wherever there weren’t children, thank you very much. It looked like Harvey had just joined her, too - he was always easy to pick out in a crowd, standing taller than anyone else in sight. Maru started towards them, then paused, frowning.

She was too far to hear what they were talking about, but it didn’t look good. Penny appeared pale and frightened, backing away from a concerned Harvey.

Yoba, what was wrong this time? Couldn’t they just once have a fun night together without something going wrong?

No, that was uncharitable to think. Still, though… what could be wrong? Penny turned away from Harvey and left, nearly running, leaving him looking confused and upset.

_Yoba. Fuck._ Maru hurried over to him.

“Harv? Are you okay?”

He tried to plaster a smile on but it didn’t look especially convincing. “Oh, hey, Maru. I’m fine. Um… do you know if Penny is doing okay, though? She seems upset today.”

Maru frowned. “She seemed fine last time I talked to her. I saw her leave just now. Did something happen between you two?”

Harvey sighed. “I don’t… I don’t know. Things seemed to be going so well. We even almost-“ he stopped and blushed. “She seemed really happy last time I saw her.”

“What did she say to you before I came over?”

“Nothing, really.” Harvey shrugged. “I said hello and she basically just said she had to go and ran away.”

Maru chewed on her lip. “Maybe I should go after her.”

If only these two idiots would just talk to each other sometimes.

“Actually, no.” She shook her head. “You should go talk to her, Harvey. You guys aren’t going to get anywhere if you don’t actually talk.”

Harvey looked a little shocked at that. “I guess… yeah. Okay. Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “You’re right.” He offered her a weak smile. “Thanks for the pep talk, Maru. I’ll see you later.”

She smiled encouragingly. “Good luck!”

Well, fuck. So much for doing the maze with her two best friends.

_\---_

A pumpkin scone and a cup of apple cider later, Harvey and Penny remained nowhere to be seen and Maru made up her mind. She had tried the maze alone before and she would do it again this year. It would beat standing around moping, at least.

It was a different maze every year, put together by that weird hermit dude who lived in the forest west of town and the other, equally weird hermit dude who lived above her house. She didn’t know Rasmodius very well, but Linus, the hermit who lived up north by the carpenter shop, seemed like a nice enough guy. He was pretty standoffish, but he’d always nod politely when she passed him and she had seen him chatting with Sebastian a few times. Some people wondered that Lewis would allow for “a tramp” to live in the town, but Maru privately thought he was a much nicer neighbour than some of the more legitimate denizens of Pelican Town.

The maze was made up of tall hedge walls and was dim, dark, and just a little bit spooky. She had never made it very far in, but some of the other villagers reported that there were frightening challenges in the middle of the maze.

All in all, it was a perfect activity for Spirit’s Eve, and she wasn’t going to miss out just because her friends were madly in love with each other and too dumb to just talk to each other. Maru squared her shoulders.

"Hey, Maru." Haley said quietly beside her.

Maru resisted the urge to scream and run.

“Uh. Hi.” _Oh sure that sounded great, you idiot._ “Um. Great festival, isn’t it?” _It’s literally the same festival every year holy fuck Maru._

“They always do a great job.” Haley agreed. “I got some lovely pictures of the pumpkins this year.”

“It’s my favourite festival.” Maru announced. Or at least, her mouth announced it while her brain desperately tried to catch up. “I mean, one of them. I really love all the festivals. Except maybe the ice fishing contest because I don’t know how to fish. Or the flower dance, I guess, because I’m not very good at dancing and also I’d really like it if we could pick our own partners instead of being forced into the same set up every time you know?”

_Holy fuck Maru, shut up. Fuck. Wasn’t the flower dance Haley’s favourite, too?_

Despite her wishes, Yoba did not open any holes in the ground to swallow her up.

“I don’t really like the ice fishing contest either.” Haley agreed, apparently not noticing that Maru was eligible for a first place prize in awkwardness. “I never minded the flower dance partners very much, but Alex is pretty great at dancing. Who would you want to dance with instead of Harvey?”

Maru desperately prayed that it was too dark for Haley to notice her face going bright red. “Um. I don’t know. Harvey and I are just both such awkward dancers that we always make a mess of things.”

“I always thought you danced beautifully.” Haley said warmly. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”

Maru was finding it slightly hard to breathe. “Um. Thanks. You dance really well too.” _Like a goddamn goddess._

“Are you considering doing the maze?” Haley asked.

“Yeah. I was going to do it with Harvey and Penny but, well, I guess I shouldn’t talk about it. And I was kind of thinking I could find my brother and Sam but to be honest it’s way less scary doing it by myself than actually going and talking to my brother and, um, what about you, are you thinking about doing the maze?”

Somehow Haley continued to stand there instead of doing what any sane person would do and walking away from what was clearly the human equivalent of a garbage fire.

“I am, yeah.” Haley smiled at her and Maru attempted to not melt into a pile of mush. “I was going to see if Alex wanted to, but he’s already gone in and I’m far too scared to do it alone.  I’m not as brave as you are.” She laughed. “Would you mind if I tag along with you?”

“Yeah! I mean, no? I mean, I wouldn’t mind at all.” Her heart was beating so hard she felt nauseated. “I think that would be really fun.”

“Awesome!” Haley smiled again. “Let’s do it!”

_Yes please._

“Er. Yeah.” Maru smiled back, a little queasily. “Let’s show these townsfolk how to beat a maze.”

Haley laughed and she was pretty sure she heard the angels sing. Was this real? Was Haley actually walking with her, laughing at her jokes?

Just in case, she pinched herself – and somehow, somehow it was real.

They entered the tall, arched hedge maze entrance together, walking silently side by size. Maru bit down on her nervous desire to fill the silence; she had embarrassed herself enough already.

Haley looked beautiful in the dim light of the maze – she looked beautiful everywhere, of course. She had forgone her skirts for the colder weather, and the dark, fitted jeans she wore did nothing to disguise her feminine shape. Her pale hair shone brightly in the light, contrasting against the pink of the soft sweater that clung to her incredible curves and rose and fell with each breath-

Maru realized she was staring at her breasts and dragged her gaze away.

_I am literally the least subtle person in all of humanity._

“Which way do you think we should turn?” Haley asked, jerking her out of her reverie.

Maru looked up. “Um. Uh. Maybe the right?” The two directions looked identical as far as she could tell; gloomy, dimly lit passages with tall hedge walls.

“Right sounds good.” Haley agreed.

They walked along in silence for a little longer, until Haley broke the quiet with a little sigh, looking up. “It’s really beautiful out at night, isn’t it? I’m not usually out this late. I just love all the stars.”

“Yeah.” Maru agreed. “It’s nice it’s such a clear night tonight. I spend a lot of time looking at the stars… my dad taught me all the constellations when I was little. Look, you can see Yoba’s Vessel over there.”

“Where?” Haley asked, looking up. “I don’t know any of the constellations… I wish I did.”

“Here.” Maru stopped and pointed towards a star. “Do you see that extra bright star? That’s the left tip. And then there’s one just a little to the right and below it… and then the next one is a little further…” She drew the line with her hand. “And then the other side, there and there, and the bottom of the vessel is a little crooked but the bottom star is another really bright one.”

“I think I see it!” Haley exclaimed, delighted.

“It’s easier to see them with a telescope – I could show you some night.” Maru offered without thinking, then immediately blushed. “Uh. I mean, I guess if you’re into that kind of stuff. It’s kinda nerdy.”

“I’d love to. I like beautiful things… even when they’re nerdy.” Haley shot Maru a sidelong glance.

_She’s not flirting with you she’s not flirting with you SHE’S NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU._

_But she is into girls._

_But probably not girls that were jerks to her when they were younger and can’t put a sentence together without fucking up._

_Fuck my life._

“Um. Well you’re welcome to come by, uh, any time. I mean, any night. When the stars are out.”

_There is literally zero reason why she would want to flirt with you, you awkward idiot._

“Thanks, Maru.” Haley smiled, then shivered and hugged herself. “It’s really cold out here, isn’t it? I knew I should have dressed warmer… but then I wouldn’t have looked cute.”

“You’d look cute in anything.” Maru blurted.

_OH MY GOD what is WRONG with me._

Fortunately, Haley just laughed. “I don’t know about that. But I probably should have prioritized being warm over looking good.” She rubbed her arms with her hands.

“Do you want my jacket?” Maru offered. “I’m dressed really warm, I don’t need it.”

“Are you sure?” She looked hopeful. “I wouldn’t want you to be cold.”

“Super sure.” Maru unbuttoned her battered plaid coat. “Sorry… it’s not really very fashionable.” She handed it to Haley, who took it eagerly.

“It’s just wonderful.” Haley replied happily, pulling it around her. “Thank you so much! Are you sure you’re warm enough, though?”

 “Definitely warm enough.” Maru lied cheerfully. Haley DID look cute in it. “Shall we continue?”

“Yeah.” Haley smiled. “This is kind of fun, isn’t it? Do you do the maze every year?”

“Yeah, usually.” Maru replied. “It’s a good challenge. I haven’t ever found the end, yet, though.”

“That’s really brave of you. I don’t think I’d be courageous enough to go in here by myself.”

Maru looked at the ground. “Well, sometimes I go with Harvey, but he gets scared pretty easy. You’ve been really brave so far.”

Haley laughed. “There hasn’t been anything yet I’d consider scary when I have you with me. Really, it’s just dark and- AAGGHH!” she shrieked, clutching at Maru. “GET IT OFF!”

It looked like a hand, dark and grimy, clutching at Haley’s ankle. Maru didn’t stop to think – pushing Haley to the side, she drew back a leg and kicked at the wrist as hard as she could.

The hand jerked back, releasing Haley, and sank into the ground, leaving nothing but a small pile of dirt to show that it had ever been there.

“Maru,” Haley gasped, grabbing her arm, “That was so BRAVE!”

Maru blushed, her heart pounding at the touch. “It was nothing… steel toe boots. Are you okay?”

“Thanks to you.” Haley squeezed her arm and released it. “I can’t believe how cool you were! Just – POW!” she mimed a kick. “That was amazing!”

Maru shrugged, embarrassed. “I’m glad it turned out okay. I’m sorry I pushed you.”

“Feel free to push me any time you need to in order to save my life.” Haley told her, smiling. “I owe you one big time.”

“Really, it was nothing. You don’t owe me anything.” She was blushing so hotly her face burned. “Do you want to turn back?”

“I don’t mind continuing on… as long as you don’t mind sticking close to me.” Haley said, her face looking a bit pinkish – probably because of the light.

“I don’t mind at all.” Maru replied honestly. “And here, I can check for traps ahead, too.” She pulled out her pocketknife and cut a branch off of the hedge next to her.

“Good idea!” Haley said admiringly. “I like that much better than using my ankles to find them.”

“I thought it would be a bit better, too.” Maru smiled shyly at her. “Are you ready to keep going?”

“Yeah.” Haley paused, looking even more pink than before, then slipped her hand into Maru’s.

Maru’s pulse turned up to 11. _This can’t be real._

Haley was looking at the ground, cheeks flushed over the collar of Maru’s jacket. Her hand was cold and soft.

“Right.” Maru squeaked. “Let’s keep going, then.” She closed her fingers around Haley’s.

The hands were easy to avoid when she was actually looking at them, and after the next corner they turned there didn’t seem to be any more – although she kept hold of Haley’s hand just in case, anyways.

They came up to another fork in the path, this time with three more passages. Maru opened her mouth – and was interrupted by a loud “FUCK!” from right-side passage.

“THAT’S FUCKING COLD MAN!” Sam’s voice, loud at any time, echoed through the night.

There was a giggle that sounded suspiciously like Sebastian. “Don’t be a pussy, dude.”

“Seb, get your fucking hands out of my shirt, I swear to Yoba.”

Haley giggled quietly beside her. “Let’s take the left side, maybe.”

“Good call.” Maru agreed. She didn’t especially want to run into her brother while holding hands with a girl – and she definitely didn’t want to let go of Haley’s hand.

They walked a little in silence, then Haley whispered, “Do you think there’s something going on between them?”

“What?” Maru asked, confused. “Who?”

“Sam and your brother, of course.”

Maru paused. “No… I don’t think so, at least.” After all, if Seb was gay too, he would probably have mentioned it when she confessed to him, wouldn’t he?

“I think they’re just really good friends.” She laughed quietly. “My mom sure would be stoked if they were more, though. She really wants Seb to find love. Well, except she’d be sad about not getting any grandkids.”

“What about you? I mean, you can always make grandkids.” Haley said.

“I kind of hate children.” Maru confessed. _And also I’m gay as hell but if I told you that you might stop holding my hand._

“Me too, to be honest.” Haley said. “Emily would be so upset if she knew. She loves kids. I just find them so annoying.”

“Right!?” Maru agreed. “Like Vincent’s five hundred questions. I don’t know how Penny puts up with them.”

“I sure couldn’t.” Haley laughed. “Crap, Maru, is that what I think it is?”

“Looks like a dead end.” Maru agreed. “Should we go back and try the center passage?”

“I think so. Seems like you’re better at picking paths than I am!”

They retraced their steps back to the fork, where Maru was relieved to see that there was no sign of Sam and Sebastian. Haley’s hand was warm in hers now, and by some miracle she still hadn’t pulled away. Maru wasn’t a believer in Yoba – or really anything that didn’t come out of a peer-reviewed study – but she felt like she should be thanking somebody for this magic.

The path widened after a short while, opening to a small clearing with the meadow’s little fountain in the middle of it.

“The fountain!” Haley exclaimed. “Wow, I can’t believe how turned around we are – I had no idea we were near it!”

“I’d almost forgotten we were in the meadow.” Maru admitted. “It looks so different with these big hedges.”

They entered the clearing together, looking around nervously. Maru still swung her stick ahead of them, but the clearing silent and still.

Really, Maru thought, there might be something in the idea of watching horror movies on a date. Their shared nerves made everything feel somehow more intimate – that, and Haley’s warm little hand in hers.

They rounded the fountain and Haley froze, pulling Maru back. “Maru!” She whispered urgently. “Maru, look over there.”

She looked, and almost shrieked. A few yards away was the exit from the clearing – and in front of it, two massive, man-sized spiders.

“Maru,” Haley whispered, “What do we do?”

“Let’s back away.” Maru suggested, slowly stepping back. “I can’t- they can’t be real, can they?”

“They sure look real.” Haley shivered.

They did look real – shining eyes and long, hairy legs. Just like seeing a spider under Dad’s microscope.

Wait. Maru frowned. One of them seemed to have a large tuft of very familiar looking blond hair sticking out from under it. Could that be…?

“Haley,” she whispered, “I’m going to try something, okay? Just be ready to run.”

Haley nodded, eyes wide.

Maru slowly bent down and picked up a rock from the ground beside her and, aiming carefully, threw it in between the two spiders.

The rock hit the ground between the spiders with a thud, and the closer spider lurched to the side – and with it, the shock of blonde hair and a pair of jean-covered arms. Haley gave a shriek, dropping Maru’s hand and dashing back towards where they came from.

 “SAM?!” Maru yelled.

“SHIT!” Cried a familiar voice. The tall blond tossed the spider off of him and dove into the hedge – where she was pretty sure she could hear Sebastian’s giggles coming from.

“Why, you little!” she exclaimed. The spider looked harmless now; clearly plastic from the bottom. Another time she might have been able to appreciate the prank, but, well… Haley had dropped her hand.

Maru sighed and turned back towards the path. “Haley? Are you okay?” she called, jogging back in the direction Haley had run.

She found Haley back at the fork, looking pale with her eyes wide.

“Maru!” she exclaimed, jumping up and wrapping Maru in a hug. “I’m sorry I left you! That was so frightening!”

Maru hugged her back, annoyance melting away, and tried not to focus on the soft breasts pressing against her own flatter chest. “It’s all okay! It was just a prank. I thought I saw Sam’s hair under one of the spiders… it was just Sam trying to scare people.”

“Ugh!” Haley huffed. “That’s so embarrassing!” She released Maru and stood back. “Well, now we definitely have to keep on going and finish that maze, just to show them!”

Maru grinned at her. “Agreed!”

The spiders were still in the clearing when they re-entered, with the larger one still on its back. The only thing that had changed was in one corner, Sam was sitting cross-legged while Sebastian appeared to be picking leaves out of his hair.

Sam was facing the hedge and Sebastian was bent over his hair, and they didn’t seem to notice the girls. Maru held a finger to her lips. Haley grinned and nodded agreement, and they crept quietly through the clearing.

“This wouldn’t happen if your hair weren’t so fucking ridiculous,” Sebastian was complaining.

Haley winked at Maru and tip-toed over to the boys, until she was only a few yards away from them. Standing behind Sebastian, she let out a loud, high-pitched shriek.

The boys both yelped and Sam leapt to his feet, grabbed Sebastian with both arms, and dove back into the hedge.

“Come on!” Haley cried as she ran back and grabbed Maru’s hand, dragging her out of the clearing.

“That was amazing!” Maru gasped when they stopped

Haley snorted, an extremely un-ladylike sound for her. “Their faces! Oh Yoba!”

“These poor hedges are taking some serious damage this year.” Maru laughed. Haley had dropped her hand again when they stopped, but she tried not to feel too disappointed.

“Worth it.” Haley grinned. “Come on, it can’t be much further – let’s finish this maze before they catch up!”

“Let’s do it!” Maru agreed. She hurried after Haley down the path.

It continued on for a long time – twisting and turning – but never forking off. There were no new creepy monsters, fortunately, considering that the girls were practically running and not paying any attention to the ground.

And then it ended.

“It’s just a wall!” Haley exclaimed. “Could we have missed a turn-off?”

“I don’t think so…” Maru frowned. “Could it be some kind of puzzle, maybe?”

“Ugh.” Haley leaned against the hedge. “Maybe, but there aren’t even any clues!”

Maru leaned against the hedge next to her – or at least, she tried to.

“Shit!” she swore, catching herself with her hands. “What the hell?”

“Maru?” Haley sounded frightened. “Where did you go?”

Maru looked up. It was pitch black all around her – except for a pinprick of light in the distance. She got to her feet and carefully backed up – and found herself back in the maze with Haley.

“I guess I solved the puzzle?”

“You just disappeared!” Haley cried.

“I think… I think the hedge is fake here.” Maru carefully reached forward, and her hand went directly into the hedge. “Haley, it’s not real!”

Haley pushed her own hand in. “Yoba!” she exclaimed.

“Some kind of mirage or something. I think this is the way forward.” Maru swallowed. “It’s pitch black in there, though.”

“If it’s the way forward… we have to beat those boys to the end.”

“Right.” Maru took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to admit – not here, not in front of Haley – that she was terrified of enclosed spaces.

After all, if Haley could keep going after the hand that grabbed her, Maru could handle a little darkness, right?

“Let’s do it.” Haley grabbed her arm. “We’ll just stick real close together. Ready?”

“Ready.” Maru smiled at her. If nothing else, at least they were holding hands again.

They stepped through together.

It was eerily silent – the only sounds Maru could hear were their footsteps and Haley’s soft breathing beside her. And it seemed to go on, and on, and on, and on – would that light ever get closer?

“I wonder where we are?” Haley whispered. “This isn’t part of the meadow.”

“I don’t know.” Maru replied. “How could they make everything so different for just one night? It doesn’t make sense. This must be part of the cliff and it’s hidden during the rest of the year, I guess.”

Haley squeezed her arm tighter. “That’s one of the things I like about you, Maru. You’re so practical.”

Maru’s cheeks warmed. “Well – um – thanks, Haley. I… I think you’re pretty great too.”

“And cute.” Haley whispered, but it was so quiet that Maru wasn’t sure if she imagined it – no, she had to have imagined it.

The light eventually grew brighter, and brighter, until they finally stepped out of the tunnel. They were in a small, well-lit clearing, with walls – real walls, not just hedge – on all sides.

And in the middle sat a glowing, golden pumpkin.

“It’s so pretty!” Haley gasped.

“I guess that’s the prize? We must have gotten to the end!” Maru grinned. She reached forward and picked it up. “Here – for you!”

“Really?” Haley looked delighted. “I love it! Are you sure, though? You won the maze too!”

“Really.” Maru handed it to her. “It suits you.”

“Maru, you’re awesome!” Haley exclaimed. She hugged the pumpkin to her. “Um… so now, how do we get out of here?”

Maru looked around her and sighed. “I guess we gotta go back the way we came.”

“Well, I guess it could be worse.” Haley held the pumpkin in one arm and grabbed Maru’s hand with the other. “At least we can do it together! And this time, we know the spiders aren’t real.”

Maru laughed. “True!”

It seemed a lot easier to get out of the maze than it was to get in. Maybe it was that they were confident and knew the way; maybe it was Maru’s realization that the end of the maze meant saying goodbye to Haley and this weirdly magical night.

Whatever the case was, it didn’t take long until they were standing by the entrance again and Maru was desperately trying to find a way to suggest that they saw each other again soon – very soon.

“This was fun, Maru.” Haley said, smiling at her. “Thanks for letting me tag along.”

“It was really fun.” Maru smiled shyly. “Um. Thanks for, uh, coming.”

It felt like the magic was over – her awkwardness was creeping up again, and she didn’t know what to do. Yoba, if only it were acceptable to just run and hide.

 “You’re fun to adventure with.” Haley told her. She grinned mischievously and, before Maru could react, leaned forward and planted a sticky, melon-scented kiss on Maru’s cheek. “See you later, Maru!” And she was off, into the square and out of reach.

Maru stared after her, one hand half-raised to her cheek.

Oh, Yoba.


	26. Library Secrets - Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh haha hey long time no see
> 
> I struggled with this chapter SO MUCH, guys. You'll notice I broke my pattern of alternations because I just couldn't make the Harvey chapter fit. I finally realized a few days ago that you guys probably would rather have an out-of sequence POV over waiting another five years for this chapter, and then it was super easy to write. 
> 
> The good news is that all this struggling helped me create a pretty firm map of the next couple chapters and I've already got most of the next chapter drafted, so it shouldn't be too long until my next post.
> 
> Thanks for continuing to read!

He looked hurt.

She couldn't get it out of her head.

He looked hurt. Why did he look hurt?

Penny hadn't wanted to go to the Spirits Eve celebration, but there wasn't really a choice. You couldn't just skip an event like that in Pelican Town, not unless you wanted everyone to ask why the next day.

Given the choice between being questioned by the whole town or seeing Harvey, she had decided to risk it. After all, she had reasoned, she could always just make a brief appearance, say hi to some of the more nosy neighbours, and then sneak away.

It was a good enough plan, except that she hadn't even had time to say hi to Lewis before Harvey had made a beeline over to her.

He'd said something in greeting - she could hardly hear it over her heart pounding - and she had fumbled for words until she managed to blurt something out - "I, um, have to be elsewhere."

And he had looked hurt.

It didn't line up. If Pam had been right - and a horrible little voice in her head kept insisting that OF COURSE she had been right - why would he look hurt?

He didn't care about her. He couldn't care about her. Why would he? How could he?

Anger would have made sense, if he thought she had been leading him on. Or annoyance. Or even disappointment, if he had wanted- wanted what Pam said he wanted.

But he looked hurt.

It had been four days since Spirit’s Eve and it felt like she had spent every minute of those four days agonizing – agonizing over a few brief seconds of an expression on Harvey’s face. It was stupid. She had made up her mind. She wasn’t going to be naïve, she wasn’t going to end up hurt wanting more out of what was, in the very best case scenario, just a casual friendship.

Because at the end of the day, Pam was right. Penny hated it – hated her, for saying it – but she couldn’t deny that Pam was right. There was a social divide there. Even if by some miracle Harvey DID like her, he couldn’t afford to have someone like her around – who would respect a doctor who hung out with the beat-down daughter of the town drunk?

She had made up her mind, and it didn’t matter why he looked hurt. She wasn’t going to waste his time anymore.

“Miss Penny?” Jas interrupted her thoughts, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Er, just fine, Jas.” Penny smiled at her. “How is your paragraph coming along?”

“I’m done!” Jas pushed the paper over to her, then hesitated. “Miss Penny, are you SURE you’re okay? You look sad.”

“Maybe you need to see the doctor!” Vincent chimed in. “Your boyfriend doctor!”

Yoba, of all the things she needed right now.

“Vincent, Doctor Harvey is not my boyfriend. That isn’t a respectful way to speak about adults,” she chided him. “How is your paragraph coming?”

Vincent grinned his gap-toothed grin at her. “Good! I’m not done though, I’m not a nerd.”

“Hey!” Jas exclaimed.

“Vince, dear, don’t say unkind things like that. And there is nothing wrong with being dedicated to your studies. In fact, I think it’s commendable that you focused so well, Jas.”

She glanced at the clock. An hour left. Usually she enjoyed school with the children, but today seemed to be dragging.

Jas stuck her tongue out at Vincent. “See? Miss Penny likes me better because I’m smart.”

“No she doesn’t!” Vincent cried. “You’re not smart, you just finish faster because you’re boring and have no imagination!”

“Children!” Penny frowned at them. “Behave! I like you both equally, but you aren’t displaying very likeable behavior right now. Vincent, don’t call Jas names, and Jas, don’t antagonize Vincent.”

“Yes, Miss Penny.” They both managed to look decently ashamed, although Jas had a glint in her eye that suggested there might be more conversation between them later. She sighed. They would figure it out just fine – at the end of the day, they cared about each other. There was only so much a teacher could do.

“I want you both to be quiet for the next fifteen minutes, okay? Jas, select a book to read while I review your paragraph and Vincent finishes his.”

“Yes, Miss Penny!” Jas cheered up instantly.

“I don’t want to write anymore, Miss Penny.” Vincent pouted. “It’s boring and I can’t think of anything more to write.”

“It’s only 150 words, Vincent. I know you can do that.” She smiled encouragingly at him.

Vincent sighed. “I’ll try.”

Jas came back with her book and silence prevailed again. Penny glanced at the clock again – Yoba, 55 minutes left to go. How was it so slow today?

The library door opened and the town’s most recognizable haircut ducked in. It was cold outside, but Sam never wore hats. Penny briefly tried to imagine him with his hair flattened from a toque, but it was hard to picture Sam without his wild spikes.

Vincent’s hair tended to be pretty wild too, and he had tried spiking it up before class once like his brother’s. Jas had laid down the law pretty quickly. Penny didn’t want curb his self-expression, but she had bee relieved when his hair was back to normal the next day. Pelican Town didn’t have room for two Sams.

“Hey Penny! Hey kids!” Sam shouted across the small, silent library. He strode over to them, oblivious to Gunther’s dirty look.

“Ah, hi Sam.” Penny replied, as Vincent jumped up to hug his brother. Well, so much for fifteen minutes of silence.

“How’s it going?” Sam attempted to fit all six plus feet of his body into a small library chair.

“I’m writing a paragraph about Pelican Town!” Vincent exclaimed. “Want to hear it? Pelican Town is very old. It is older than Mayor Lewis, who is very, very old.  Mayor Lewis is in charge of Pelican Town, which means he yells at people when they try to do fun things. Pelican Town has two stores for groceries, a fish shop, a Stardrop Saloon, and a doctor’s office. The doctor is Doctor Harvey who is really nice and Miss Penny says he isn’t her boyfriend but I’m not so sure-“

“Vincent!” Penny exclaimed, blushing. “That’s not appropriate to put in your paragraph! You are supposed to be writing facts about the town, not gossiping!”

“But Doctor Harvey really likes you!” Vincent protested. “And Mrs. Caroline told my mom that she saw you leaving his place after the clinic was closed and it looked like there was a new romance in town, and then my mom said she was happy for you and the doctor but she was disappointed you weren’t dating Sam instead because he needs to meet a nice girl already.”

“Vincent!” Penny choked. Across the table, Sam had turned bright red. “Vincent, just because two people spend time together does not mean they are boyfriend and girlfriend. It can just be because they are friends and enjoy each other’s company.”

Vincent pondered on that, while Sam’s face continued to burn. “You mean like how Sam and Sebastian sleep in bed together the same way my mom and dad do, but it’s not the same because they are just bros?”

“Oh Yoba, Vince.” Sam’s face turned redder, if possible. “For the millionth time, it’s called a sleepover, okay? And it was cold in my room.”

“That’s exactly right, Vincent.” Penny told him. “Friends regularly hang out closely together. When I go see my friend Maru, I sleep in her bed too. I stay overnight at her house because she’s my friend and I like spending time with her.”

“Vincent is just jealous because he wants to marry Sebastian when he grows up.” Jas chimed in.

“Jaaas!” Vincent gasped. “Besides, so do you!”

“That’s not the point.” Jas sniffed. “I have a better chance than you do, anyways. Boys usually marry girls.”

“Well, I’m not marrying a girl!” Vincent exclaimed, offended. “Girls are disgusting. Right, Sam? I’m sure Sebastian feels the same way. He’s smart.”

“Er…” Sam looked trapped.

“Vincent, this really isn’t a very appropriate conversation for school.” Penny reminded him. “Are you done your essay yet?”

“Almost.” Vincent sighed.

“Let’s have some quiet while you do that, then. Unless you needed something from Vincent, Sam?”

Sam shook his head. “I’m just avoiding my mom while she washes the floors at home. Seb’s busy working, so I figured I’d come and pick Vince up from school when he was done.”

“I’ll let him out early when his essay is done, then.” Penny said, relieved for the opportunity to cut the day short. “Jas, you can finish your book at home if you’d like to leave early today.”

Jas grinned. “Thanks, Miss Penny! Bye, Vincent!” She began stuffing school supplies into her knapsack.

“Penny, do you have a moment to talk?” Sam asked in a stage whisper.

“Er, sure. How about we go look at the artifacts while Vincent finishes writing?”

Sam nodded solemnly and lead her over to museum section of the library. “Penny, how are you doing?” he asked, his loud whisper easily carrying across the small library. “Are things going okay with the doctor?”

Penny held back a sigh. That really was not going to help with the rumors. “We’re really just friends, Sam. Nothing to worry about.”

“Okay, okay.” Sam nodded. “It’s just, you know, Vincent said you’d been looking sad lately. If he did anything…”

Oh, dear. He was so sweet and earnest, too. “He hasn’t done anything, Sam. Please don’t threaten him again, okay?”

He looked embarrassed. “I didn’t think he would tell you.”

“He didn’t. Vincent did.” Penny sighed. “Right before he also threatened to hurt Doctor Harvey. Please, Sam, it’s just fine. And I would really suggest you be careful about what you discuss in front of Vincent… he is so impressionable.”

“Er, yeah. Sorry.” Sam shuffled his feet, looking very much the way Vincent did after being scolded. “I just worry about you, that’s all.”

“I- that’s really sweet, Sam. Thank you. You don’t have to worry, though- eek!” She squeaked as Sam enveloped her in a bear hug.

“I’m gonna worry about you a little bit anyways, okay?” he told the top of her head. “You’re like a small, short, nerdy sister to me.”

Tears pricked at the back of her eyes and she blinked furiously. “Thank you, Sam. You’re a really, really good friend.”

“So are you.” He released her and grinned. “Besides, you’re a redhead so you fit in with my family.” He gestured to Vincent’s wild, strawberry-blond head.

Penny laughed. “I guess so. Thanks Sam. Let’s go check on your impressionable little brother, okay? And just remember to be careful what you say in front of him!”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Good call. And, um, sorry about what he said earlier, about Mom and Caroline.”

“That’s fine.” Penny smiled ruefully. “Goodness knows this town likes to gossip.”


	27. Talk - Harvey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: this chapter will be quick I'll have it out in no time  
> Me, 5k words later: oops
> 
> Thanks all for your patience, and for continuing to read and comment. <3

Sleep, eat, try not to think about Penny. Work, try not to think about Penny. Rinse and repeat, try not to think about Penny.

Harvey leaned on the mop and sighed.

He had set to cleaning the clinic just to have something to do – not that he was doing a great job. Maru would probably have some stern words for him when she got back. Those were the tasks he had relinquished most gratefully when she had first started working in the clinic.

Yoba, Maru better get better soon. He didn’t know how much longer he could last.

He hadn't been able to find Penny that night at the festival, and he still had no idea what was wrong. It felt like they were going in circles - whenever it felt like they were getting closer, something happened and she ran off again.

Maybe she had just been caught up in the moment the other day. Maybe she had just been too shy to push him away.

He'd known from that start that it was nothing short of a miracle that she was paying attention to him. He wasn't any kind of catch - old and poor and those frozen pizzas weren't doing much good for his shape. He'd noticed a grey hair in one of his eyebrows this morning.

If only he just knew! If she could have said something - he would rather hear to his face that he was a loser and whatever else than have to stand here and wonder.

“Uh, Harv?”

Harvey jumped with a yelp. “Maru? I wasn’t expecting to see you until next week!”

“Surprise!” Maru grinned. “I was going insane at home. I don’t know what was worse – Mom trying to feed me every cold remedy she knows, or Dad insisting on explaining why all of them wouldn’t work.”

Harvey laughed. “That does sound pretty awful.”

“It was. I see you’re doing terribly without me here, as well. Just as I suspected.” Maru shook her head. “Seriously, Harvey – have you ever mopped a floor before in your life?”

“Uh… yes?”

“Really? Because it certainly doesn’t look like it.” She sighed. “Here, let’s dump out that dirty mop water and go out front. I’ll deal with this later.”

“I’ve missed you, Maru.”

“I know.”

“…”

She laughed. “I missed you too, Harv. How have things been?”

Harvey picked up the mop bucket and walked over to the ward’s sink to dump it. “It’s been fine, I guess. Haven’t talked to Penny, though.”

“Harvey, that’s the least convincing 'it's fine’ I've ever heard, and I live with Sebastian."

Harvey laughed. “Okay, fair, you got me.” He shrugged and opened the ward door, leading Maru down the hallway. “She’s avoiding me, and I don’t know why. Things were fine, and then they weren’t. I don’t want to force the issue, though. I mean, if she doesn’t want to talk to me, she’s got that right. I don’t want to push friendship on her.”

Maru sighed. “I don’t know what’s up with her, either. But I don’t think you’re right here… knowing Penny, she’s found some reason to think that she’s not good enough to be friends with you.”

“Her? Not good enough?” He stopped and stared at her, confused. Of all the possibilities, that had been the last thing he would have thought of; if anything, he wasn’t good enough to be friends with her. She was so full of potential, and he was just full of broken dreams and freezer pizza from Joja.

“You’ve never thought about it?” Maru raised her eyebrows. “Come on, Harv. You’re a doctor, that’s kind of an important person.”

“I mean, like… yeah, I know doctors are important to a community. But...” He shook his head. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. That’s flattering, I guess… but it’s just me. She knows that.”

“And Penny is just her.” Maru shrugged. “I’m just guessing here, Harv. But I do think you should keep trying to talk to her.”

“I don’t want to harass her if she doesn’t want to, though. That wouldn’t be right.” He shook his head again. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it, I guess.”

“That’s a start. Hey, look!” Maru exclaimed, pointing out the window. “It’s snowing!”

“First snowfall of the year!” Harvey smiled. “It looks beautiful, doesn’t it?”

“It does.” They stared outside for a few minutes at the thick, fat flakes falling from the sky and melting against the cobblestones of the town square.

“I hope it sticks.” Harvey said.

“Ugh. It’s pretty but it makes climbing up the mountain a real pain.” Maru sighed. “Well, come on, Doc, let’s see how bad you’ve let the paperwork get since I left.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad!” He laughed. “Come on Maru, I’m not totally incompetent.”

Maru tweaked an eyebrow at him. “You’re a great doctor. As a business owner, though…”

“I survived just fine before you started working here, young lady.”

“Yeah, sure you did, old man.” Maru flipped the calendar to the current month. “Totally on top of things, eh? Which is why you missed one of your patients this week?”

“I did?” he leaned over her shoulder to read the messy scrawl.

_Penny – annual checkup. 12:20_

On yesterday’s date. His heart dropped.

“Shit.”

There was no way she WASN’T avoiding him. But to be so opposed to his company that she would skip her appointment?

“Shit is right.” Maru looked angry. “I don’t care what kind of drama you guys are having, she can’t just neglect her health!”

“I mean-“

“And you should be checking the calendar, Harv, like I tell you to.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He had meant to – but it had been a stressful week, and he had felt like the paperwork on the desk was suffocating him every time he looked at it. It had been easier to just deal with the patients as they came in.

“Ugh! You two!” Maru groaned. “What am I going to do with you babies?”

“Babies?”

“Yes, babies! Teeny weeny little babies who can’t- oh, hello, Mrs. Cohen!” Her tone changed instantly as the door opened.

Jodi rushed in, followed by Vincent. The little boy had blood on his chin and shirt, and tears in his eyes.

 “Doctor, can you take a look at Vincent? He fell and cut open his chin!”

“Of course!” Harvey hurried around the desk, feeling grateful for the distraction. “Come on back. When did that happen?”

“Just now. We came straight here.”

He lead them to the exam room in the back – which thankfully wasn’t too messy – and motioned Vincent up on to the exam bed. “I’m just going to wipe up the blood, okay? This might sting a bit.”

Vincent sniffled loudly, still blinking back his tears. “Okay.”

“You’re being wonderfully brave,” Harvey told him, carefully cleaning his little chin. “And you’ll be just fine in a few moments here. How are you feeling?”

Vincent sniffed again, but managed a grin through the threatening tears. “’Sokay. I’m really tough.”

“You sure are,” Harvey agreed. “And these cuts aren’t looking too bad at all. In fact, these don’t look too bad at all. Just a little messy. I don’t think you’ll need stiches.”

“Oh, thank Yoba.” Jodi sighed. “I’m sorry to have bothered you – he just walked into my kitchen like that and I panicked.”

“I’m glad you came, just in case.” He continued examining the cut. It wasn’t too bad at all – still bleeding a lot, and Vincent had scraped off a lot of the skin on his chin – but not very deep. “Just hold still for a few moments, okay Vincent?”

Vincent nodded, then sat utterly still while Harvey finished cleaning up his chin and applied an antibiotic cream and bandages.

“There.” Harvey said, leaning back. “How’s that, Vincent?”

“Awesome!” Vincent grinned, gingerly patting the bandage. “That wasn’t bad at all! I mean, except that I didn’t land my skateboard trick and- uh, sorry, ma’am,” he finished lamely, noticing Jodi’s glare.

“I’m guessing you fell off your skateboard, then?” Harvey asked.

“His brother’s skateboard!” Jodi huffed.

Harvey covered a smile. “Well, Vincent, did you at least borrow your brother’s helmet when you took his skateboard?”

“I did!” Vincent nodded furiously. “Sam told me I had to.”

“What’s this?” Jodi exclaimed. “Sam told you that you could use his skateboard?”

“Uh…” Vincent looked guilty. “Not exactly?”

“What does _not exactly_ mean, Vincent Alexander Cohen?”

“He said that if I ever used his skateboard I had to use his helmet, but he didn’t exactly say I COULD use his skateboard.” Vincent looked at her earnestly. “Sam is very responsible.”

Jodi sighed. “What am I going to do with you boys? Thank you so much for patching up Vincent, Doctor Harvey.”

“No problem.” Harvey smiled at her. Poor Jodi did have her hands full. She was one of the younger adults in town – only about ten years older than he was, in fact – but starting a family while young and running after a pair of rambunctious boys like Sam and Vincent had put lines on her face. “Let me walk you out.”

Maru was absent from the desk when they reached the front room – probably fixing his attempt at floor washing, Harvey suspected.

“How much do we owe you for the visit, Doctor?” Jodi asked, pulling out her wallet.

“Oh! Nothing,” Harvey waved her off. “It was just a quick bandage. I’m happy to help out.” He really needed to stop doing things for free – at least, according to his budget book – but Jodi and Kent couldn’t really afford to pay for every scrape their boys got into, not while living on just a soldier’s pension.

“Are you sure?” Jodi asked, looking relieved.

“Of course.” He smiled reassuringly, and winked at Vincent. “Just make sure your boys keep wearing helmets when they’re on the skateboard.”

\---

It had been a while since he had been in the saloon.

He didn’t really want to be anywhere where Pam was – not since that humiliating incident when he visited Penny. And Pam was always at the saloon.

Still, it was the only watering hole the town had, and he was feeling pretty overdue for some time around other people. Or rather, any kind of distraction, really. Building model planes left too much time for thinking, and the only kinds of thoughts he seemed capable of these days were of red-haired teachers.

And, of course, it was nice to have an opportunity to eat something that didn’t come out of a box at Joja.

The usual crowd were in the saloon when he entered – Pam, pounding beers in the corner; Clint, gazing morosely at the table in front of him, or at Emily whenever she had her back to her; Leah and Elliott drinking wine and making jokes. Kent was there tonight too, at his regular table near the jukebox. The tall man waved Harvey over as he entered.

Kent's preferred table was also uncomfortably close to where Pam sat, Harvey noted, but he headed over to Kent anyways. She didn't appear to be paying much attention to her surroundings and he quickly slipped into the corner and out of her line of sight.

“Evening, Harvey.” Kent nodded at him as he came up to the table. “Care to join me for a drink?”

“That sounds great.” Harvey said, pulling up a chair. “How are things?”

“Pretty good, pretty good.” Kent nodded again. "Nice and quiet in here. It's a bit of a full house these days at home." He waved down Emily. “Bring the doctor a beer, would you, Em?”

"Boys seem to just get louder as they get older, I've noticed." Harvey said sympathetically.

"They certainly do. We have three, most days, with Sebastian around.” Kent chuckled. “Sebastian is pretty quiet but Sam makes up for it by being twice as loud with him around. Wish there was an empty house somewhere we could kick them off to."

"That's the problem with small towns." Harvey agreed. "Not much in the way of housing around here. Not unless you want to leave for Zuzu."

"I don't know that I want them that far." Kent shot him a sharp glance. "You see Sebastian much in that clinic of yours?"

"Ah - I can't really comment. Patient privacy and all that." The answer was no, of course. Sebastian didn't even come for his annual check-ups anymore. "Of course, if you're worried about the health of - anyone - please encourage them to come in. I can waive fees if money is a problem, too."

"Like you did for us today." Kent shook his head. "You've got to curb that altruism, Harvey. You need to eat just like the rest of us."

Harvey shrugged uncomfortably, before Emily saved him from further response by swinging by with their beers.

"Enjoy, boys!" She winked at them and head back to the bar with a third beer for Pam.

"Sweet girl, that." Kent noted. "Cheers, Harvey."

"Cheers." Harvey clinked his glass to Kent's. He wasn't much of a beer drinker - wine was his beverage of choice - but Gus's beer was always good.

"Speaking of sweet girls, I heard town gossip has you seeing our little town teacher, eh?" Kent took a long drink. "Jodi's crushed. Wanted her to date our Sam.” He chuckled. “I think she would be disappointed either way… pretty sure Sam’s got his eye on someone else. Besides, I dare say you’ll suit Penny better.”

Harvey flushed. "We’re just friends, really. I wish people wouldn’t talk so.”

“What, my lil girl isn’t good enough for you?” Slurred a voice from the bar. Pam glared at him angrily. “Yer all the same, fucking asses.  Happy enough to fuck a girl but won’t confess to it in public.”

“We’re really not-“ he started, but she cut him off with a loud scoff.

“You can lie to her and you can lie to these idiots” – she motioned broadly around the saloon – “but you can’t lie to me, mister.”

“Pam, that’s enough.” Kent cut in firmly. “Leave the poor man alone. If Doctor Harvey is seeing Penny, that is their business and theirs alone. The doctor is an honourable man and doesn’t deserve that kind of slander.”

“What, you think you’re boss of the place, just because you went out-“

“Pam!” Gus exclaimed, bustling over. “I accidentally made an order of zucchini sticks when Clint wanted mozzarella sticks. Can I interest you in a snack?”

“I- Gus, I was talking to the doc!” Pam slurred. She sighed, eying the zucchini sticks. “Yeah, I’ll take those off your hands.”

“I knew you’d be good for it.” Gus handed Pam the plate, and winked at Harvey as she took it. “How are you two gentlemen doing for drinks?”

“Just fine, thanks.” Kent replied, tight-lipped.

“Let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do.” Kent glanced at Harvey. “I’m feeling just about ready to head home, anyways. Starting to think it might have been quieter at home.”

The saloon door banged open with a blast of cold air, and a blonde head ducked through the frame. “Dad!” Sam yelled across the fifteen feet separating their table from the door. “Mom wants you!”

Kent groaned. “Nevermind, I take that back.”

Sam thumped over to their table, Sebastian following behind him like a gloomy little emo shadow. “Sorry to interrupt you guys,” Sam apologized. “But Vincent just showed Mom his report card and she says she doesn’t know how to handle it herself. He’s almost failing math _again_.”

“Sam,” Kent sighed, looking pained, “Must you announce that to the whole bar?”

“Sorry!” Sam exclaimed in a stage whisper that was still louder than the average person’s speaking voice. “Mom’s really upset, though.”

“I’ll head home. Are you boys staying at the saloon?”

“Yeah, we’re going to play a few rounds of pool.”

“Here.” Kent pushed his beer towards Sam. “Why don’t you finish up my beer and hang out with the doctor for a bit, too.” He pulled out his wallet. “Buy yourselves a round and get Doctor Harvey another one, too.”

“You really don’t need to-“ Harvey began, but Kent waved him off.

“My pleasure, really. Thanks so much for taking care of Vincent earlier, and all the other things you do. You should relax, play some pool with the boys” He paused. Don’t stay out too late, though. It looks like the snow is really picking up out there.”

“Well, thanks,” Harvey smiled. “It was nice to talk with you tonight.”

Kent nodded at him and head out the door.

“I’ll go set up if you want to go order, Sebby,” Sam told Sebastian. “Doctor Harvey, have you played pool before?”

“I’m not much good at it, but I’ve played.”

“You’re still probably better than Sam.” Sebastian laughed.

“Hey!” Sam exclaimed. “I’m not that bad!”

Sebastian tweaked an eyebrow at him. “He’ll see for himself soon enough. See you over there.”

Harvey laughed and picked up his beer. He hadn’t played pool in a long time, but it was definitely preferable to sitting at the table near Pam.

Sam lead him past the bar to the back room. It was empty except for them; no one really used the room except for Sam, Sebastian and Abigail. There was a large pool table taking up most of the space, two arcade games against a wall and with a dusty Joja Cola vending machine beside them, and a purple couch tucked in the corner.

“Do you want to play first?” Sam asked him, setting up the pool balls. “Seb always wins against me anyways.”

“Uh, sure,” Harvey agreed. “Sebastian seems like the kind of person who is good at these types of games.”

“More like the kind of person who is good at everything!” Sam groaned. “Some people get all the luck.”

“Don’t be jealous,” Sebastian told him, coming back with a beer in one hand and a bottle of ginger ale in the other. “You could get better if you practiced.”  
  
“Sebby, we play every Friday. If practice helped, I’d be a pool genius by now!” Sam complained.

Sebastian shrugged and handed the beer to Sam. “Good point.” He turned to Harvey. “You ready to play?”

“Sure.” It was almost funny how much he was like Maru. Blunt, straight to the point. Seeing Sebastian without his usual sullen expression, Harvey could easily spot the resemblance between the two siblings. Not that either of them would appreciate that being pointed out, though.

They played in silence for a few minutes. Sebastian _was_ good; he had a significant lead by the time they were done the first three turns.”

“Well, I feel better seeing Seb kick someone else’s ass.” Sam sighed. “Still, it would have been nice to see you lose for once, Sebby.”

Sebastian snorted. “Dream on, kid.”

Sam stuck his tongue out. “You guys hungry? I want a pizza.”

“I’m good.” Harvey replied, glancing up from the pool table. “I’ve been eating pizza all week.”

“Man, I can’t wait to be a bachelor!” Sam sighed. “Pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

Sebastian snorted. “As if, Sam. Remember that time we went camping for a week in grade 9 and you complained about missing your mom’s cooking every day?”

“Also, as an unmarried young man, you technically are a bachelor.” Harvey pointed out, smiling.

“Really?” Sam cocked his head. “I thought being a bachelor meant you had to be middle aged and live alone in a crappy apartment.”

Sebastian visibly cringed. “Um, not that there’s anything wrong with living in an apartment, right Sam?”

Harvey decided it was probably best to just change the subject. His battered pride could only take so much, after all. The gray hair this morning was bad enough – being referred to as ‘middle aged’ was just adding insult to injury. “How’s your brother doing after his fall today, Sam?”

“Oh, good!” Sam thankfully went for his diversion. “He wanted me and Seb to sign his chin bandage, but Mom said no.”

“That’s probably for the best.” Harvey agreed. “The bandages aren’t too thick, and he doesn’t need ink in his cuts.

“Do you think the bandages will be able to stay on all weekend?” Sam asked. “He wanted to show them to Jas and Penny, too.”

“They’ll need to be replaced if they get dirty or wet, but I can give him some new ones if he wants. Just have him pop by the clinic.” Not that he should be handing out medical supplies for free, Harvey reminded himself, but it was rewarding to make a kid like Vincent happy. Besides, maybe if Penny saw he had been to the clinic and had been taken care of…

“Cool, I’ll let him know.” Sam paused in thought for a moment, and Harvey took the opportunity to attempt to down another ball. “Hey, speaking of Penny,” Sam added, “Do you know what’s going on with her?”

 “Er… no?” Harvey frowned. So it wasn’t just him – other people had noticed her acting strangely too. Hmm.

 “Are you sure?” It looked like Sam was squinting… or maybe he was trying to glare. “There isn’t anything going on between you two?”

 Oh, Yoba, he _was_ trying to glare. Sebastian looked amused, and Harvey couldn’t blame him. It was like being scowled at by a teddy bear.

“Sam,” Harvey rebuked him, “I don’t pry into your personal relationships, do I?”

Sam blushed bright red and looked away.

Well, that was interesting. Did Sam have a relationship with someone in town? Kent had hinted at something like that earlier.

 Wait, hadn’t he been asking questions about anal sex with men during his last visit?

Harvey glanced at Sebastian. He didn’t seem to be sharing Sam’s embarrassment at all – in fact, he was actually grinning at his friend’s reaction. Maybe Sam had just asked those questions thanks to some story Sebastian had made up. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Really, it was no wonder these two were friends. This was the first time Harvey had ever seen Sebastian smile like that.

“I think I might run up and order a burger. Do you guys want me to order you that pizza?” Harvey asked, taking pity on the still-blushing Sam.

“I’ll go order them, you can keep playing.” Sam told him.

“Yeah, don’t go running out on me when I’ve almost got you beat, Harvey.” Sebastian smiled.

“Fair, fair.” Harvey put his hands up. “Don’t get too confident, though. I might make a glorious comeback.”

Sebastian snorted. “Dream on, old man.”

Sam returned just in time to watch Sebastian deliver the final blow, carrying a second beer for Harvey and himself, and insisted on playing Harvey next. He was just as terrible as Sebastian had mentioned, and Harvey managed to come out in the lead despite his own shortage of skill - in both the first game and during the rematch Sam insisted on.

“Man, that’s not fair.” Sam complained, eating one of the last cold pieces of pizza. “How did you get so good?”

“He’s really not,” Sebastian told him. “You’re just really bad.”

“Hey!” Sam exclaimed. “Whatever, at least I’m not a nerd that listens to My Chemical Romance and studies pool-ology online.”

Sebastian flushed. “I don’t listen to MCR! I told you, that was Maru’s shirt.”

Last Harvey checked, Maru listened exclusively to dance music and hip hop, but he felt like it would probably be safer to keep his mouth shut on that subject.

“Why don’t you guys play a round?” he suggested. “I’ve been hoarding the table all night.”

“Sure!” Sam exclaimed, argument instantly forgotten. “I think I picked some strategies up from Doctor Harvey, Seb, so you better watch out.”

“What, strategies on how to suck?” Seb retorted. “You’re going down, dude.”

Harvey took a seat on the battered purple couch and checked his watch. Yoba, it was already past eleven?

Admittedly, the games with Sam had dragged on pretty long. Neither of them were terribly good and it had been pretty rare for a turn to involve a ball being sunk.

“I’m going to head home, guys.” He told Sam and Sebastian. “It’s getting a bit late for me.”

“Sorry about that, Doctor Harvey!” Sam exclaimed apologetically. “I forgot that old people get tired easily.”

Sebastian facepalmed. “Dude…”

“What?”

He sighed. “Goodnight, Harvey. Thanks for playing with us tonight. Feel free to join us any time, it was fun.”

“Thanks,” Harvey replied, choosing to ignore Sam’s comment. “I enjoyed it. Goodnight!”

He brought his empty beer mugs up to the bar and nodded to Emily and Gus. It was almost dead now; just Pam still steadily drinking in her corner.

He tried to glance over at her surreptitiously but found her yellowed eyes staring straight at him. Yoba, she really ought to come to her check-ups more often… that was a likely sign of liver failure beginning.

“Hey, you!” Pam called, as he looked guiltily away.

“Um, yes, Pam?” Harvey replied nervously.

“Y’think yer real fuckin’ sneaky, don’t you?”

“I- what?”

“Sneakin’ off to the back room. Sneakin’ around with my girl.” She took a long drink, finishing off her glass. “I know yer fuckin’ type, kid.”

“I’m really not seeing Penny, Pam. We’re just friends, that’s all.” He wished he knew how to diffuse the angrily little woman better – he hated the idea that she would go home to Penny like this. Hopefully Penny was already fast asleep.

“Yeah fuckin’ right!” Pam cried, spit flying. “I know that fuckin’ whore daughter of mine. Thinks she’s too good. Thinks she can bag a fuckin’ doctor. You leave her the fuck alone, you hear me?” She shook a fist at him.

“Don’t speak about Penny that way.”

The words came out of his mouth before he could think, and her red-tinted cheeks turned purple in anger.

“You fuck- you think you can fuckin’ tell me what to do?” She stood up unsteadily. “I ought to show you-“

“Pam, I think you’ve had enough.” Gus told her sternly. “You know better than to start arguments in my saloon.”

“Fuck off, Gus.” Pam snapped.

“Come on, Pam.” He replied, taking the empty beer glass from in front of her. “Time to call it a night. You know the rules.”

“Fuck you.” She steadied herself against the bar. “This fuckin’ asshole is banging my daughter, Gus. Givin’ her all kinds of fuckin’ ideas.”

“That’s not really relevant. Come on.” He shot Harvey an apologetic smile as he rounded the bar. “You need me to walk you home, Pam?”

“Fuck you.” She repeated. “I can fuckin’ walk.”

Harvey stepped back slightly as she headed towards the door. As much as he appreciated Gus intervening, he wished the man hadn’t kicked her out before he could leave himself. He didn’t particularly want to encounter her outside, not in that state. He had been in a few fights back in his college days – or more accurately, he had been beat up a few times back in his college days. He wasn’t feeling especially keen to repeat the experience.

The door slammed behind Pam with a loud bang, and he took a deep breath. He couldn’t exactly just stand at the bar forever, as much as he didn’t want to go outside – if nothing else, he didn’t want to look afraid.

“I think I’m going to call it a night, Gus.” Emily announced, untying her apron. “Doc, you want to walk out with me? It’s a nice time of night to have some company.”

“Er, sure.” He didn’t have to be a genius to see what she was doing – or appreciate it.

“I’ll just grab my bag real quick.” She hurried to the back room.

“I’m sorry about that, Doctor.” Gus sighed. “Pam’s been real agitated lately.”

“Not your fault, Gus.” Harvey smiled reassuringly. “Thanks for stepping in.”

“Well, it is the saloon rules.” Gus shrugged. “And the least I could do. She’s probably not waiting outside, by the way, if you’re worried. She’s all bark and no bite.”

“Er, that’s good to know. Does this happen often?”

“Here and there.” Gus grimaced again. “She’s got a hot temper.”

“Thanks for waiting, Doc!” Emily said, coming back into the room with her winter jacket and bag. “Shall we?”

“For sure. Have a good night, Gus. Thanks for everything.”

He opened the door for Emily and followed her outside into the cold. The snow had been falling steadily since that morning; there was already almost a foot on the ground.

“Brrr!” Emily exclaimed. “It’s so beautiful when it’s this cold, isn’t it?” She gazed up at the sky. “I love it.”

“Me too.” Harvey bundled his coat around his tighter. “Everything just glows.”

“Exactly!” Emily beamed at him. “Looks like Pam made it home safe, too.” She pointed at the line of footprints leading towards the trailer, and the brightly lit windows inside. Emily sighed. “I hope Penny is okay. I worry about her.”

Was Penny’s light on? It looked like her side of the trailer was still dark.

He hoped she was okay, that Pam left her alone. The way Pam had talked about her in the saloon… “I worry about her too.”


End file.
